My Mornings are so Bad and Cannot Get Out of Bed HELP!

[Snafu in the Void]

From a very young age I always LOVED sleep. Starting around age 10, when my parents divorced and I began to experience depression. I LOVED SLEEP! It was the most relaxing and pleasurable thing I could do.

Fast forward 21 years. I still love sleep. For the wrong reasons.

I've been depressed nearly my entire life. I really don't "FEEL" depression like I used to feel it, but I sure have the symptoms. I think I just got used to it. Numb to depression.... maybe a survival mechanism.

But I often sleep for 12+ hours. I always set my alarm for 8-9 hours of sleep, wake up, then add +2-3 hours to my timer and go back to sleep. It's almost like a drug to me, but its seriously ruining my life in its own way.

"Sleep... become them... die" comes to mind.

There is a reason I now set 3 different alarms (literally). I don't trust myself with one. I set 3 alarms a few minutes apart to make sure I get up.

Life is too precious to sleep away. Sleep is just a pleasant form of death IMO. I have too much to live for.

I still LOVE sleeping.... its like a drug and a few hour cure of depression, anxiety, existential dread, etc... I used to come home from work and go to sleep around 8pm just so I could sleep for longer....

In my 30s now and I realized that time is too precious to waste sleeping.

Facing the music is difficult and always uncomfortable, however I always feel better about myself for doing it.

I've certainly been there, and still struggle with it, but take it one day at a time and every day life gets better if you put the work in.

-snafu

 

[neversickanymore]

What about writing, checked into any groups that meet regularly in your vicinity to share and discuss a possible passion of yours?

 

[MrsGamp]

I'm

What about writing, checked into any groups that meet regularly in your vicinity to share and discuss a possible passion of yours?

I'd love to do something like that but everything's still fucked up cos of COVID. Also the bed-ridden thing is not totally psychological-I've got this smashed up knee issue which makes it hard to get around. Not on crutches anymore but oh dear, it really hurts a lot and it's impossible to get any painkillers in Australia right now.
Was on Tapentadol slow release for about six months and boy do I miss it- I looked and felt about ten years younger. Now I'm just using booze for pain, tbh. Not good.

 

[MrsGamp]

Sl

From a very young age I always LOVED sleep. Starting around age 10, when my parents divorced and I began to experience depression. I LOVED SLEEP! It was the most relaxing and pleasurable thing I could do.

Fast forward 21 years. I still love sleep. For the wrong reasons.

I've been depressed nearly my entire life. I really don't "FEEL" depression like I used to feel it, but I sure have the symptoms. I think I just got used to it. Numb to depression.... maybe a survival mechanism.

But I often sleep for 12+ hours. I always set my alarm for 8-9 hours of sleep, wake up, then add +2-3 hours to my timer and go back to sleep. It's almost like a drug to me, but its seriously ruining my life in its own way.

"Sleep... become them... die" comes to mind.

There is a reason I now set 3 different alarms (literally). I don't trust myself with one. I set 3 alarms a few minutes apart to make sure I get up.

Life is too precious to sleep away. Sleep is just a pleasant form of death IMO. I have too much to live for.

I still LOVE sleeping.... its like a drug and a few hour cure of depression, anxiety, existential dread, etc... I used to come home from work and go to sleep around 8pm just so I could sleep for longer....

In my 30s now and I realized that time is too precious to waste sleeping.

Facing the music is difficult and always uncomfortable, however I always feel better about myself for doing it.

I've certainly been there, and still struggle with it, but take it one day at a time and every day life gets better if you put the work in.

-snafu

Sleep is lovely ...and also inimical to life.
Am practically a "shut-in" at present.
Can't see my way clear to getting out of it...

 

[MrsGamp]

I gotta be honest, I have to wake up Monday through Friday at 4:30 a.m. and start getting ready for work so I sure as hell understand wishing you could get some more sleep and wanting to cry that I can't.

Of course I have no fucking choice in the matter because if I want to be able to buy the substances I cannot seem to enjoy life without I'm gonna need money, not to mention feed my son and pay bills and all that shit so I do the only real thing I can. I grit my teeth, jump in the shower, and take my butt to work because life's tough and I have no other choice in the matter.

Least your son is with you. I'm in a mess because my daughter, now 17, lives with her Dad. He stopped bringing her to see me for court-ordered visits in order to dodge child support. It was amazing how little I could do to oppose this.

 

[BK38]

I need a good long sober period in order to get back to that place where "acting my way out of it" or "making it by faking it" is possible.
for of course it is the lot of human beings to feel lousy, and there's not a person alive who's got no experience of muddling through without chemical help...by which I mean everyone has been a child (even those who acquired addictions when very young)...even the most "hopeless" addicts have done it straight at one stage...
The thing about inebriation, whatever your DOC might be, is that you get unused to feeling "just normal" - you end up with 2 settings, feeling fucking marvellous, and feeling fucking dreadful. At least that is how it is for me....and the "dreadful", up to a point, seems worth enduring for the sake of the "marvellous".
besides, the "dreadful" bits of addiction are familiar, and you've chosen them, which makes them less spooky than the demands sobriety makes. In sober life, you accept that you're not calling all the shots and you are accustomed to coping with both banal obligations plus surprise difficulties....
but in addicted living, you always know how you are going to feel. And (in my case anyway)
you develop this entitled attitude about moods: you feel quite righteous about refusing to endure even a single day of boredom/unpleasantness, refusing to endure a single chore or obligation unless you are high...
it's really depressing. right now I feel both "spoiled" (as in "spoiled child) and sick and to-be-pitied...☹

I think that's a bit of a chicken and egg thing. You'll never get sober properly until you start acting in a way that helps your physical and mental health instead of wallowing in self-pity. You will be waiting forever if you just expect to magically have the motivation and self-worth to do anything about your circumstances. I have been addicted to Heroin, Meth and Benzos/Alcohol and I have been clean from the Heroin for 8 years and the Meth for 5. I'm not addicted to anything right now. I absolutely know what it is like to be swinging on the pendulum between the incredible highs and lows.

Your tolerance to pain and emotional discomfort are greatly reduced because you know that you can always retreat to that altered state if it all gets to be too much. You can only grow your strength and mental fortitude by working at it. It's similar to when you go to the gym and rip your muscles so that they can mend themselves and get stronger. You also don't start with heavy weights, you do a little bit, building yourself up by doing small things. Shower, make your bed, sleep right, eat healthy meals and regularly. Get the counseling you talk about to work through your past trauma and impediments to success. Make a list of positive affirmations that you read every morning.

It takes discipline and it will be painful and uncomfortable, but gets easier with time. Frankly, boo-fucking-hoo and woman-up. I feel like you hide behind your intellect (I know you do because I did for a long time) and you keep trying to think your way out. You bargain with yourself, procrastinate and justify your behavior and set up barriers by saying "I can only do this when (insert a set of circumstances)". You talk about the steps you need to take without ever attempting a step. You need to start being proactive, even in little ways. Do it for yourself and your dignity. Do it for your daughter. I am not talking down to you from some high horse - I am trying to tell you I've been there. I am far from perfect, but I'm telling you that you can start right fucking now to improve your condition/circumstances. You can do it.