My mental life is in Danger ( PLEASE HELP )

[pincakez]

first : im sorry for my english
im from egypt and ive been taking Lyrolin (pregabalin) for one year (1500)mg pre day as addiction
and ive decided to stop taking it because it tuned me to a different person
if i didn't take it once , then i will be a unbearable person , i dont talk to anyone and i hate myself , i keep sleeping , think about only the bad things
then i have to take it again to restore my old me again just for 6 or 10 hours i think
its a nightmare and i think ive lost myself and i cant stop it
im decreasing the dose now and ive reached 750mg per day but i thing every hour to back again to the original dose (1500) because im in a horrible mental state
of course i want to stop this thing , and i cant stop Cold turkey because ive heard this is bad
all i want is Something make me feel Better and make me stop thinking about getting back to old dose
i mean something chemical , any kind of pills can help me
im trying not to stay alone and making sports but its not enough
i just want my old life back , thats all im asking here
of course if i could ...
thx

 

[herbavore]

Your English is fine. (I wish my Egyptian even existed.)

Here is something important to consider before focusing on the drug withdrawal. I see many people say they need to take a drug to "be my normal self again" or "feel like the old me" etc. But here is a possibility you may not yet have considered: maybe you are more complex than just a happy person. Maybe your anxiety and depression are caused by all that is happening in the world around you and it is actually a form of intelligence to see it. I am not suggesting that this is a state of mind that anyone should have to live in non-stop but I feel that accepting a certain amount of these so called "negative" emotions can actually be healthier than chasing constant happiness. If the only time you experience this is in withdrawals then of course that is something different and probably is only caused by the chemicals in your brain.

Have you been to a doctor to discuss this? Would that be possible to do or would that put you in danger?

The most important thing for you right now is to realize that this is temporary. You correctly saw a problem and you are trying to address it--that is good! I know that several people on Bluelight have struggled with pregabalin so hopefully someone with direct experience with comment further. In the meantime, exercise some very positive self-talk. Encourage yourself to continue the taper, accept some amount of the symptoms (like sleeping a lot, bad mood, etc) as temporary and chemical and try not to attach any permanence to them in your mind. It is very important for you to treat yourself well when going through this--any self-hating or judgmental thoughts should be treated as detriments to healing.