my life story-- where drugs took me & how i got help

Tyler650r

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 29, 2017
Messages
7
Throughout my life I had always considered myself to be very responsible. I did what I was told; I tried my best to help others, and had a good job that I was good at.
One day I wrecked a motorcycle which in turn caused me to be prescribed multiple pain pills. I took these for over a month before I noticed I was beginning to rely on them for relief from pain. I then decided to talk to my doctor about this. He immediately decided to take me off of them. Instead of dealing with the pain of withdrawal I decided to start purchasing oxycodone 30s from some people I worked with.
Throughout the course of about a year I was still the same person and contributing to society. I thought I was responsible even though I was spending hundreds of dollars a day on my drug problem. But I was still responsible right? Unfortunately I had a large savings account with almost $30,000 in it. Before I knew it, it was almost gone.
Once I realized I could not afford to keep this habit up I started using heroin. I began stressing out about drugs and money to continue my nasty habit. It was turning into more problems than I knew it was worth. I was so stressed out I began turning myself into a liability to myself and those around me I started justifying my actions with the fact I was using drugs. But doesn’t that mean that by using drugs I was irresponsible? I began showing up late to work and many other things that I wouldn’t have done sober. I did so many petty things like this I started feeling worthless and unproductive. I started to cause my family and girlfriend great worry and disappointment by secluding myself and becoming very depressed.
It took a long time to get back to the way things were before, but it all started by losing the drugs. I decided to check myself into a rehab and confront my problems. I dealt with the paws symptoms for many months. But today it’s been over 10 months since I last did an opiate and didn’t know I could ever feel this good again!
 
Really glad you shared your story.

Just out of curiosity, how did you handle the PAWS symptoms? How did you avoid relapsing? Your story is very inspiring, and I'm sure plenty of BL'ers will share my curiosity in your successes (and struggles).
 
Well they were not fun and they seemed to last longer than most people had described to me. I actually ended up leaving that rehab early and once I got out i was no longer in the rehab safety bubble. It was one if not the hardest thing I had ever done. Some things that I was really fortunate with is the people in my life. I encourage anyone with a drug problem to tell the people that really love them. It is a huge help no matter how hard it can be to admit it to them. I had a great support system. I hate to say it but for me nothing really seemed to help. Sleeping was especially hard. I personally feel there is a huge difference between are you done? Or are you done done! I was done done. But believe me I thought i was done done before and definitely was not. Thank you for responding. Some days I still struggle and am trying to write and help others now.
 
Top