My Intro- Plus A Question Or Two

[socalrollin]

whats going on guys? i just wanna start off by expressing how happy i am today to find this part of BL, i discovered BL in 2008 at the age of 23, shortly after my discovery of mdma. i started off inquiring about every aspect of mdma and before i knew it i was asking how long it would be until i felt like my normal self again and all that garbage. in short, i abused mdma, i learned that lesson and shortly after found myself experiencing extreme anxiety and some depression which i had never experienced previously in my life. well one way or another i began taking 10/325 norcos which i had taken previously but never had a major problem with. the thing is now the norcos relieve the anxiety and depression like magic, i couldn't be happier right? yea right, you guys know how it goes from here, weekend using quickly turned into a habit which quickly turned into an addiction. i found myself "playing the game" using for 4-5 days sometimes more, then quitting just long enough to get past the withdrawals and continuing the cycle progressively getting worse until norcos weren't really doing it anymore, and this went on for years, that's when i found 8mg dilaudid and a steady flow of them unfortunately. before i knew it i was taking four 8mg dilaudids at once every day after work 32mg total, at once. that went on for a couple months until i just couldn't take the guilt and stuff anymore so i broke down and told my family, took mon-fri off work and quit cold turkey on my own. it was hell but it honestly changed my life and made me who i am today. i stayed 100% sober for eight months until family issues with my parents and to be quite honest probably a deep down desire to use again caused me to start using norcos again slowly repeating the exact same hell that took place previously.

im now going on 31 years old and im happily married, we have a two and a half year old daughter that means more to me than i can describe in words.

TODAY, i am 18 days 100% clean and sober, i quit cold turkey again but this time was a million times easier because i was taking breaks from dilaudid use for anywhere from 3-10 days at a time to prevent withdrawal symptoms, which never really worked it just lessened them. needless to say i was running myself into the ground playing the game again and that is just not acceptable in my life anymore. i feel really good, all withdrawal symptoms are long gone, PAWS is almost unnoticeable at this point, almost. the one thing thats really bugging me is that i cant sleep past 5:00am no matter how late i stay up or how tired i am when i go to bed. its causing me to be tired at work and not only that i just want to be able to sleep until say 8:00 or 9:00 o'clock on the weekends, i haven't done that in years and it just seems like it would be amazing. does anyone know how long i could expect this to last? i don't seem to remember this happening for so long the first time i seriously quit. also, whats the one thing that helps/helped you stay away from opiates long term? for me its my daughter, i'll do absolutely anything to keep her happy and ensure she has an amazing childhood and life. thanks for listening guys and any response is much much appreciated.

 

[herbavore]

Congratulations on everything! The 18 days, the decision that got you there and becoming a parent.

The first thing I would do about insomnia is to treat it as if it has nothing to do with drugs at all and make sure that all your sleep hygiene is in good order. Read up on that here. Most insomnia comes from stress and the best habit you can develop to counteract your relationship to stress is mindfulness. There are hundreds of books and podcasts out there that can give you the tools you need. Here is a resource for guided meditations from UCLA.Try listening right before bed.

Mindfulness philosophy and practice can radically affect how you react to the inevitable stresses of parenthood as well. Look into it--I think you will find it rewarding.