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my haven

Mellabopper

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 16, 2000
Messages
3,811
Location
Boston
(this is just random... not sure where it came from, really...)
somewhere in that place
where you are not sure
if you are looking through your own eyes
or if you're looking at your own self
is where i sit
vision going out of focus slightly, occasionally
mind wandering to distant places
trying to find some modivation to do anything
anything at all
sometimes
i just want to throw it all down
say 'forget about it'
not worry about anything
and just silently walk away
into the lurking shadows that outline my life
its much easier there,
in the shadows
where no one is around
except myself
and i dont have to worry about anyone but me
i dont have to live up to any standards
i dont have to please anyone except myself
is this place the place for me?
but its so lonely there.
yes, but i've been lonely in the past
and you say you want to pull me out of this place,
it was, it IS my haven
and leaving it behind might mean never coming back
can i deal with that?
and i still want to just throw everything down
say 'its not worth it anymore, nothing is'
or is it?
and i just wont let it be important to me?
in fear it will not turn out right?
i do not know where these thoughts come from
maybe because i am weak now
and all of a sudden spending many nights and awaking mornings alone
maybe i dont want to be alone anymore
maybe i just want
anything at all
i just want it all to end
please just leave me
here in my shadows
i dont want you to worry
i'll be fine
but please
just
go.
Mellabopper
12.4.00
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~*~*~ meat is no treat for those you eat ~*~*~
animals are for petting!
 
Maybe it isn't as random as you think...
Spinning makes you dizzy in a very short period of time. I know *exactly* what you mean.
Like a mouse in a maze...
Never knowing which way is out, if there IS a way out (i.e. is it all just completely pointless?). Not the most fun place to be.
Sure, there may be no point to it all. There may be no way out of the maze. However, why not make the most of your scamperings?
What can it hurt?
smile.gif

Don't give up. It'll all be worth it in the end.
xxox.
Beautiful poem...
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~the *secret* does not necessarily have to remain enigmatic~
(just ask (and open your eyes))
"Beauty is truth," -Keats
[This message has been edited by mealltach (edited 05 December 2000).]
 
i feel that we are so very much in the same place in our thoughts right now...
 
i really related to that. very well-written. bravo!
smile.gif

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~po
"she said it's so funny how life burns out so fast, it's just another wasted day."
 
Oh. Wow. I am definitely wowed.
wink.gif

You spoke the words my mind could not express tonight.
Exactly.
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~*~I hope you take a piece of me with you...~*~
 
i kinda like being in that place too. i stay there a lot, and only begrudgingly am i taken away from it.
vacations are nice tho, even from a place you like.
bc
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bc-
**Proud to be an Official member of the Stuck-Up/8-Up Crew**
"Fuck PLUR! it's all about hardcore ass fucking!!"
We'll make great pets...
"drug suppliers, typically wearing 'Ecko' brand sweat shirts shuffle around the dance floor, chanting softly, 'want some pills? k?'" - Shu Shin Luh, The Chicago Sun-Times
 
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