My Girlfriend And I Were Snuggling On The Couch . . .

[L O V E L I F E]

My girlfriend and I just finished spending our first Fourth Of July together!

It was truly a beautiful weekend.

On Sunday, we were snuggled up on the couch together - I was watching some tennis, lovingly stroking her hair, while she was curled up in my arms, reading a magazine.

Then - all of a sudden, she glanced over at me and said:

"LOVELIFE - can you be believe it?!

It says right here that in certain cultures,

Men are actually allowed to hit their wives,

Just for speaking without permission!"

So I slapped her in the face.

Practice makes perfect.



*********************

 

[New]

That was awesome. Risque and to the point.:D

 

[Mehm]

that's pretty funny

do people feel guilty after your sets?

 

[L O V E L I F E]

^^^^^^

The more open-minded folks are usually very complimentary over "meet and greet" cigarettes outside the club, after the shows.

The real fun is in getting the "straight-laced" audience members to actually approach me after the show and legitimately ask me what "fisting" is.

Guess they don't get to hear many jokes quite that raunchy on Letterman.

Thanks to envelope-pushers like Anthony Jeselnik and the writers at South Park and Family Guy, however, little by little, the censorship has begun to recede.

Check out what Jeselnik got away with telling to OPEN the first ever stand-up set on Fallon:

"I was staying with my girlfriend's parents at their home.

And get this - they won't even let us sleep in the same bedroom when we stay there!

When I passed her father in the hallway, he looked at me and said:

"Sorry, Buddy . . . but, I don't trust you."

I said:

"Trust me, Buddy - I'm fucking your daughter!"

For the TV set, he changed "fucking" with "banging," but that said, thanks to gutsy comics like him, it's getting easier and easier to slip dirty stuff onto network television.

Here's another taste of Jeselnik's brilliant filthy mind, before I go to polish my own new jokes for tonight:

"Any time I'm about to have sex with a girl,

I ALWAYS play it smart.

And I automatically ASSUME that she has herpes.

Because that way . . . I don't have to tell her about MY herpes."

Most of his best stuff has been removed from YouTube by the people at Comedy Central, but if you'd like a bigger taste of that genius' stuff, PM me, and I'll hook you up.

 

[PureLife]

L O V E L I F E your burlesque style puts such a smile across my face. A good laugh makes my day feel quite better.

 

[L O V E L I F E]

^^^^^^^

Thank you.

Sincerely, that means a lot.

Peace,

LL