Hi users of bluelight, this is my first post on this site so sorry if i seem a little nooby
just telling this story as i want peoples thoughts on the story, and i want to document the experience aswell
[context]
This was an experience i had in november 2017, when i was 17 years old. I live in the UK and it was on fireworks night that this story takes place
I smoked alot of weed and had tried mdma a few times before but i had had no psychedelic experience at the time, although i was interested in trying psychedelics as i had been watching videos and researching them.
one day around midday i met up with my friend, who was very good at identifying and picking mushrooms, and he had some on him which i bought (psilocybe cyanescens). There was about 8 mushrooms in total, although as my friend had had them drying for a bit, meaning they were not fully dried, but also not fresh. This meant that i could not accurately dose the mushrooms. They weighed around 7g in total (i think?), and after he advised me not to take that many, i ignored him and put them in my bag. I met up with another friend in a park local to where we live. We know this park well, its the centre of our town and is very close to my primary school, secondary school, and my college. the park is a large field, with woods all around. In the centre of the park, there is a playpark, and a primary schools (which i used to go to). We still spend alot of time in this park to this day.
[the trip]
I met my friend in the park and ate the mushrooms around 4:45pm. I ate all of them, which was very difficult as I do not like the sate of mushrooms, and there was alot to eat and they were very chewy. soon after, i began feeling serious anxiety, and began to feel ill. I remember walking across the grass, and suddenly everything kind of zoomed out, like the whole world stretched. As i got to one of the edges of the park, i knew i had to throw up as i started to really trip. i was trying as hard as i could to throw up, by forcing my fingers down my throat... i remember closing my eyes whilst trying to throw up, and in my mind i turned into just a small dot floating in nothing. Then I (the dot) stretched into a line, then into some weird shapes, and then into a mustang... (the car) At this point I knew I was gonna have an interesting experience. I did throw up aswell, and this was only about 10 minutes after i had felt the first effects so i though i would have got rid of most of the psilocybin out of my body. But at this point it was getting late, and it started to get dark out very very quickly. After I walked back into the middle of the park, whilst seeing a UFO, patterns across the floor, seeing cartoons talking to me and being able to control the clouds, I sat down in the middle of the grass as it was too strong to handle. Now here is where things are harder to remember. i sat on the grass with my friend next to me, and I started to forget who I was. I felt like I was leaving my body and merging into everything around me. It was already pitch black out, and then it began to pour down with rain (and it wasn't just light rain, it was pouring down). I thought i was dying, and transcending out of my body into something else, but every time I did, I would suddenly wake up and look around, and notice that I was starving and freezing cold (To my friend, i was sat cross-legged, hunched over forwards. I would randomly sit up and look around, then hunch back over again). I was looking at me and my life as if it wasnt even my life, but just a random persons life who i was watching. I thought that my body was physically dying, whilst my mind was flowing out of my body. It was also FIREWORKS NIGHT, meaning there were loud fireworks exploding all the time (and scaring the shit out of me). My perception of time was also changed, as it felt like i was stuck in this park for hours. We called my friend who picked them from me aswell and he managed to bring be back to reality a little. after what was apparently around an hour, me and my friend finally got up and started to walk. We walked out the park and walked for about half an hour until we met another friend, and we walked around for a few hours until I felt like I could act normally enough to go back to one of their houses. During the walk I was still getting quite strong visuals, with the cars looking like they were bouncing down the roads and seeing patterns everywhere. Ive tripped on mushrooms since, but never had an experience anywhere near that strong. I think about the experience alot, and I dont think i will ever truly understand what I experienced that night.
That was my experience... What are your thoughts?? what dose do you think i had based on the experience? ive tripped on psilocybe cyanescens many times after, and i only eat a few and still trip quite hard... do you think i experienced some kind of ego death?? this whole story has been shortened to fit in this post, and there are also many parts of the experience i cannot remember or comprehend. do you think i was an idiot for eating that many?? (the answer is yes)
just telling this story as i want peoples thoughts on the story, and i want to document the experience aswell
[context]
This was an experience i had in november 2017, when i was 17 years old. I live in the UK and it was on fireworks night that this story takes place
I smoked alot of weed and had tried mdma a few times before but i had had no psychedelic experience at the time, although i was interested in trying psychedelics as i had been watching videos and researching them.
one day around midday i met up with my friend, who was very good at identifying and picking mushrooms, and he had some on him which i bought (psilocybe cyanescens). There was about 8 mushrooms in total, although as my friend had had them drying for a bit, meaning they were not fully dried, but also not fresh. This meant that i could not accurately dose the mushrooms. They weighed around 7g in total (i think?), and after he advised me not to take that many, i ignored him and put them in my bag. I met up with another friend in a park local to where we live. We know this park well, its the centre of our town and is very close to my primary school, secondary school, and my college. the park is a large field, with woods all around. In the centre of the park, there is a playpark, and a primary schools (which i used to go to). We still spend alot of time in this park to this day.
[the trip]
I met my friend in the park and ate the mushrooms around 4:45pm. I ate all of them, which was very difficult as I do not like the sate of mushrooms, and there was alot to eat and they were very chewy. soon after, i began feeling serious anxiety, and began to feel ill. I remember walking across the grass, and suddenly everything kind of zoomed out, like the whole world stretched. As i got to one of the edges of the park, i knew i had to throw up as i started to really trip. i was trying as hard as i could to throw up, by forcing my fingers down my throat... i remember closing my eyes whilst trying to throw up, and in my mind i turned into just a small dot floating in nothing. Then I (the dot) stretched into a line, then into some weird shapes, and then into a mustang... (the car) At this point I knew I was gonna have an interesting experience. I did throw up aswell, and this was only about 10 minutes after i had felt the first effects so i though i would have got rid of most of the psilocybin out of my body. But at this point it was getting late, and it started to get dark out very very quickly. After I walked back into the middle of the park, whilst seeing a UFO, patterns across the floor, seeing cartoons talking to me and being able to control the clouds, I sat down in the middle of the grass as it was too strong to handle. Now here is where things are harder to remember. i sat on the grass with my friend next to me, and I started to forget who I was. I felt like I was leaving my body and merging into everything around me. It was already pitch black out, and then it began to pour down with rain (and it wasn't just light rain, it was pouring down). I thought i was dying, and transcending out of my body into something else, but every time I did, I would suddenly wake up and look around, and notice that I was starving and freezing cold (To my friend, i was sat cross-legged, hunched over forwards. I would randomly sit up and look around, then hunch back over again). I was looking at me and my life as if it wasnt even my life, but just a random persons life who i was watching. I thought that my body was physically dying, whilst my mind was flowing out of my body. It was also FIREWORKS NIGHT, meaning there were loud fireworks exploding all the time (and scaring the shit out of me). My perception of time was also changed, as it felt like i was stuck in this park for hours. We called my friend who picked them from me aswell and he managed to bring be back to reality a little. after what was apparently around an hour, me and my friend finally got up and started to walk. We walked out the park and walked for about half an hour until we met another friend, and we walked around for a few hours until I felt like I could act normally enough to go back to one of their houses. During the walk I was still getting quite strong visuals, with the cars looking like they were bouncing down the roads and seeing patterns everywhere. Ive tripped on mushrooms since, but never had an experience anywhere near that strong. I think about the experience alot, and I dont think i will ever truly understand what I experienced that night.
That was my experience... What are your thoughts?? what dose do you think i had based on the experience? ive tripped on psilocybe cyanescens many times after, and i only eat a few and still trip quite hard... do you think i experienced some kind of ego death?? this whole story has been shortened to fit in this post, and there are also many parts of the experience i cannot remember or comprehend. do you think i was an idiot for eating that many?? (the answer is yes)