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Heroin My Featherweight Bout with Opioid Withdrawal (and a question)

DroneLore

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 8, 2009
Messages
923
I used for 16 days straight, with two days off. One of those two "days" is literally a 24 hour period. One day I took 45 mg of oxy orally and that was my only opiate intake, and there were a couple other days of IVing hydromorphone and no H. Some days IVing dilly and H (never at the same time :() and mostly just IV H. I knew that every day I put off stopping I was just making it harder, so Thurs at around 8 PM was my last dose (just a rinse, last real dose was a bit earlier). Here is my experience withdrawal. I am sure this is just the tip of the dopesick iceberg but it certainly wasn't much fun.

Day 1
My nose is runny. I am tired, exhausted, and doing my best to avoid contact with others. Most of my anxiety revolves around how bad this is going to get.

Day 2(~42.5 hrs)
Outside I am a vampire: miserable and wretched. I cringe at the sun’s ultraviolet caress even as it diminishes the lingering chill. My perspiration no longer seems to correlate with temperature changes. I have been hot and sweaty, cold and dry, sweating even as I shiver and uncomfortably hot without a token sweat.

My apartment is a moist dungeon, infested with hostile pests.

One thing puzzles me. Why am I constipated? I was expecting diarrhea if anything, as constipation is a side effect of opiate use. No such luck. I wind up sweating and sniffling mucus, grunting hunched over the toilet bowl like my life depended on this bowel movement. The girth of the log that escapes me makes me sympathize with those who are averse to sodomy. It is like shitting a baseball. More people need to talk about these things.

Day 3 (~65.5 hrs)
It seems the worst is over. Dopesick lore says the third day is the worst but I don’t feel much worse than I did yesterday. A bit better perhaps. Some of the stomach cramps from day one have returned. If I’m not careful and inhale too deeply I am greeting by a searing pain in my lower abdomen. Weed has proven a necessary aid during this experience. Klonopin helps a lot too but I must be careful not to substitute one dependence for another. Given the short timeframe of my detox (hopefully no more than three days), and the low (< 2 mg) doses of Klonopin I am working with, I am not worried about this.

The physical discomfort is relatively consistent, although I find myself able to enjoy brief respites with the right mind set. It actually feels good not to be putting a needle inside me. The psychological symptoms seem to come and go in an unpredictable fashion. One moment I will feel fine, the next I will be a nervous wreck, barely able to comprehend the simplest duties of daily life and terrified at the thought of having to go about them. A little while later, I fall into depressive moods with no trigger than I can see. Everything seems bleak; I am alone, insignificant and hopeless. I shudder beneath the weight of shame, knowing that I brought this on myself and yet I am still not ready to give up for good.
With enough spliffs and klonopin, I may actually have enough energy to walk to the store today. I will call around and try to get a ride first.

~70.5 hours
Almost done! Don’t feel much better than I did yesterday though. Wonder how long the lethargy will last.
The lethargy may be due to the cannabis and benzodiazepines, although it has been present throughout the withdrawal. Typing is a strenuous activity, and a surprisingly amount of will is required to complete even the most simple tasks, such as… basically, anything that requires any movement or deviation from the status quo.

My appetite seems to have rebounded considerably.

Day 4(~73 Hrs)
Still feeling lethargic. Mind going crazy. Prone to indulgent flights of existential grief, like im suffocating in monotony, and the world seems to big and amazing but also alien and threatening and I feel so small.
Still pondering whether I’ve the strength to walk to Walgreens to get some milk of magnesia.
My mind slithers into the hole its grown so used to. How long til the next injection. Seven days, I say, hoping I sound more confident than I feel. Seven days. That’s next Friday. I can do that. It will be so much better when it’s just a once in a while thing. I also hope it’s long enough to avoid going through withdrawals again from just a single dose.

~77.5 hrs
I feel confident that the worst is over. I am noting some affects that I cannot attribute to the medically recognixed withdrawal syndrome. The emotions that I have dulled with opiates seem to rush back in tidal floods, and to recede into shadows. I struggle to sing along to songs I’ve heard many times before without crying. It’s like I can connect with the sadness on a new level. While still intimidating, I find the vibrance of these emotional experiences a pleasant change of pace. I need to embrace life. I need to make mistakes, and not just mistakes that involve heroin.

~78 hrs
New bout of depression, although dissipated quickly—regret the lack of intimacy in my life, which is due to social anxiety and/or possibly something I’m not even aware of.

~87 hours
Feeling almost back to normal. Still lethargic, but more mental—feel much more physically capable. Feeling pretty good actually. About to deal with some serious family issues later—let’s hope I can keep it together.

Now for the question: Would a single dose a week after my last dose cause me to withdraw again?
 
Yes, if you redosed now you would experience withdrawal symptoms again.

They probably wouldn't be as bad as what you just experienced however.
 
Yeah, I feel ya, it's the monotony during the withdrawals that gets me, I just pass the hours waiting for a reasonable time I can go to sleep. Isn't life just so boring?

It's killing me just to get out of bed everyday. But trying to lower my tolerance a little... so... meh!
 
That lethargy thing is definitely from the opiates! I am currently in pain management but with new doctors recently and I was on 320mg oxycontin for years and they made a switch. Put me on Opana 160mg initially to make the change smooth and then the next month BAM reduced my daily to 120mg and the next month another BAM to 90mg. I am dying! That's like reducing my intake to half what it was and I was at that dose for over 5 years +. Due to not being able to sleep at night, I had to take an extra pill a few days and now my next appointment this week finds me probably a pill short probably and that's moving at only 60mg a day (not 90) recently. I say probably because he may make the Rx out that day. In that case I'm fine but if not, I think I'm going to die! I have tried to get down as low as possible a few days and two 30mg pills is as low as I can go. I am be screwed!

So, I feel you! I hope you come out of this with a better understanding of your body and it's limits. That knowledge can be priceless. I hope the two of us get through this OK, so I'll wish you luck. If anyone has any ideas for me, I'd truly appreciate them and I am sorry if I'm encroaching on the thread but I seriously am not myself right now Thanks!
 
Sounds like these compassion(less) "Doctors" are trying to set examples of cutting pain relief in half at the expense of the poor patients, so the next patient they put through hell wont be so surprised of the lack of empathy.
 
I waited four months after a large habit of several years. The first time I used I didn't go through withdrawal. When I started using once a week after that I started getting some mild w/d, though only for 1-2 days (and it wouldn't be the following day, as there would still be some in my system). Then I started using twice a week. The old slippy slidy slope. Withdrawal is still mainly agitation and sleeplessness. My supply has dried up so heeeere coooome the pretzels. Ah well; I had a good run.
 
Sounds like these compassion(less) "Doctors" are trying to set examples of cutting pain relief in half at the expense of the poor patients, so the next patient they put through hell wont be so surprised of the lack of empathy.

Thanks for that and you're right. I hope I don't go crazy before my appointment! I used to get up in the morning between 8:00 and 10:00am but recently I've taken a couple benedryls to help me get to sleep. I wake up at 12, 1 or 2, then 3 or 4 and that's about it. The past 3-4 mornings I've gotten up as early as 4:40am and no later than 5:20am. I'm about to drop right on my feet. I'm thinking about taking 3 benedryls tonight and then another 2 around 2 or 3:00am and maybe I can make it till 6:00 or so. Of course, I need to take a dose immediatley to stop the WD's and the bad news is that now I need to medicate myself for 3-4 more hours than I used to and now is not a good time for that! I honestly need some divine intervention to make it through.
 
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