My Experience Going Into Treatment/Need Some Insight Here

[CosmicG]

I have talked a lot about my struggles abusing Xanax and Etizolam on this website. I am still currently prescribed ninety 0.5 mgs of Xanax per month my GP. It all started with this prescription and a desire for more. I discovered Etizolam after reading about it on this site and began using anywhere between five to six milligrams of that along with my Xanax prescription that I have had for about two years now. I functioned at this level for a while, and nobody really knew I had any problems with drug addiction, though I have been an addict of many sorts for going on ten years now.

I finally hit my rock bottom when I was prescribed Valium after throwing my back out while at work. Without going into details it went south very quickly for me, and after talking to my family about it I agreed to go to an in-patient treatment facility so that I could get myself sorted out. Prior to agreeing to this, I had been under the impression that the hospital would taper me off of Xanax accordingly, as I explained to them that was my drug of choice. I did not mention the Etizolam because I figured they would know nothing of it, and the Valium I also excluded because in my head that was what they would use to taper me, if not another benzo with a longer half-life. I was wrong.

As soon as I was admitted the doctor told me he would be stripping me of all benzos and rather quickly. I was given Librium for the first four days and then no more benzos. I was put on 2400 mgs of neurontin, 300 mgs of Seroquel (100 mgs three times per day), 150 mgs of Vistaril(50 mgs three times per day), and Clonodine 0.5 three times per day. I kept telling him I did not want to be on all of this medication, how I came there to get off of drugs not on more, and he became angry telling me I needed to stop trying to control my treatment so much, he knows what he is doing, etc, etc.

By the end of week two my girlfriend informed me that we were basically broke and I needed to come home ASAP so that I could start making money again. I signed myself out against medical advice. They fought so hard to keep me there, for insurance money I am sure. I am feeling incredibly resentful at this point towards the doctors, nurses, the entire hospital really. After leaving I was given one months supply of the medicine I had been given in the hospital. Three weeks later, I have successfully stopped taking everything except the Neurontin. I am down from 2400 mgs a day to 1200, and I feel like shit. Mentally just very irritable, moody, even more so then usual.

I am angry that I went to get help and IMO was given horrible treatment. They had every patient in that hospital on Seroquel and Neurontin. Am iI wrong to think that they are mistreating patients? It didn't matter what the patient was admitted for, they were immediately put on Seroquel and Neurontin. I feel that I went there to get help and left with an even bigger crutch then I already had. I am continuing a fast taper because I want to put this experience behind me. I am taking the Xanax again but exactly as prescribed with nothing else. I made the decision to start taking it again because the withdrawal from my "detox" meds was so harsh.

I guess I am just venting because I feel like absolute hell. I want to know if anyone else disagrees with these procedures. There isn't anyone I know that I can relate this experience too. Any insight is greatly appreciated.

I feel that I should also add the doctor who was prescribing me all of this medication was getting ready to switch me to an XR form of seroquel. This was also a major contributor in my decision to get the hell out of there, as I felt like they were trying to make me into some kind of complacent zombie like a lot of the other patients were.

 

[Felonious Monk]

Sounds like standard in-patient rehab.
They are mistreating patients, that's just the standard of care in "addiction treatment."


Addiction and drug dependence treatment in the U.S. is the farthest thing from scientific, and is badly suited for many patients.

 

[IbizaJoe]

Sounds like standard in-patient rehab.
Addiction and drug dependence treatment in the U.S. is the farthest thing from scientific, and is badly suited for many patients.

I don't think this is different in any country. Quetiapine (Seroquel) is the drug of choice and it is prescribed for almost anything. It is wonder drug here in Finland too.

I was offered Quetiapine for side effects caused by MDMA,LSD,Cannabis,Amphetamine. I actually never took the pills, because Quetiapine raises blood sugar and I have to keep mine in check for medical issues. I even told this to my doctor, but he still insisted me to go for huge amounts of Seroquel immediately. I never even paid for the medicine, I was given them for free for some "starting dose". I burned them all in my fireplace the same night.

My father was also prescribed quetiapine for insomnia. My father has no history of drug use, he has not had a drink in 20 years and has blood sugar issues. And still the doctors think it is a good thing for him to take Seroquel. It is a good thing I convinced him not to take it.

It's the new miracle drug.

 

[swilow]

Rehab is such a complex thing really. There are many types of addicts to many drugs from many walks of life. How can one-size fit all? Humans like to standardise things for some reason. Cosmic giraffe, don't let this dissuade you from rehab or sobriety. Its pretty common for addicts to need several goes at several rehab facilities before they have success. I've been to 3 different rehabs, but only 1 detox facility. That was my last experience with it; I was addicted to benzo's (valium) and heroin/opiates. Just going to rehab is a good start, but I found it helpful to detox before hand. I had tapered off benzo's for several years (I cannot express how difficult that was!) but would just try to jump cold-turkey off opiates. Of course, I could survive the 4-5 days of awfulness but then the depression would start and I would escape/check-out of the facility and begin again. I had success by tapering slowly off benzo's (which can be done in a controlled, out-patient manner) and then admitting myself to a detox clinic where I dropped my last benzo dose completely and stopped opiates completely. After that madness, I went to a rehab facility amidst nature; a unique rehab I should add, perfect for me.

Long story short, I went through a few years of being psychotic and having seizures and malnutrition and thinking I would never escape, and 4 years later, I am actually genuinely sober and productive; I work full-time as an archivist in a library, I am studying concurrently, I smoke weed a lot though and still trip and take drugs but I have no real addictions (well, 4 cigarettes a day and 2 coffee's....). There is light at the end of the tunnel, an its actually daylight shining down Its really bright out here. You'll love it.

What sort of rehab was it? It sounds clinical. I assure you that there are some great places out there, some facilities that are peaceful, engaging, positive and caring. It would be difficult to be somewhere institutional, in w/d and on seroquel; I don't blame you for leaving. However, you need to establish something with your loved ones/girlfriend; if you are in rehab, 'real-life' stops. Sure, you need to make money to live; but you need to live securely more then that, and rehab doesn't work if you only do half of it. So- I suggest you do some research in 'alternative' rehab facilities, which should be attended after a detox period; in your case, I'd suggest removing all benzo's except diazepam and begin tapering. There are some cool hippie rehabs in my country (Australia); the place I went was holistic and loving; they were willing to entertain the notion that some substances can heal a person, so people were prescribed iboga. I opted out, I chose ayahuasca and cleansed myself entirely. Those sort of places exist and can have incredible results; they can sometimes be 'private' and expensive but a highly worthwhile expense.

Anyway, rambling post. I apologise. I just wanted you to know that treatment facilities exist that are not grim and sterile. A recovering addict needs to be forced to see the beauty and tranquility inherent in the world sometimes. This doesn't always happen in cold hospital ward; shits harder to see then. Keep searching, keep trying- you will get there if you choose.

 

[CosmicG]

The rehab that I went to was inside of a psychiatric hospital. All of the patients were mixed together meaning the CD (chemically dependent) patients were mixed with the mental patients. We had separate classes/groups that were all focused on The Big Book/Twelve Steps/AA program. Rarely did we actually see the light of day besides while gazing out our bedroom windows or taking five minute smoke breaks in the small fenced in yard at the end of each meal behind the hospital. That is another thing that really got to me I think. After the first ten days of going through the worst of the withdrawal I began to feel incredibly depressed and ready to move on. I am sure that is very typical for anyone going into treatment. I went in there out of desperation to get better. Once I felt "okay" I just wanted to escape before they could do any more damage by putting me on more anti-psychotic drugs.

The type of rehab you are describing Willow sounds much more suited for me personally. I love nature and truly believe it contains the cure for all. I can imagine how something like Iboga or Ayahuasca could really change a perspective indefinitely, especially while in such a state of vulnerability. Unfortunately if I wish to keep my current relationship with my girlfriend of which we have shared with for almost five years now, more time away from home is just not an option. I have to find a way to do this on my own. The stress of work makes it very hard to focus on my recovery and the things that truly matter to me in life. I am in desperate need of a new career path.

The idea of Seroquel being the new miracle drug is an idea that scares the hell out of me. I will never understand why doctors think this is the answer to everything. All it does to me is make me a tired, lethargic zombie. It actually increases my heart rate a great deal too. It really makes me wonder what the true motives are behind giving everyone Seroquel. But to be honest with you the Neurontin is what is causing me such hell to come off of. I had never even heard of it before this recent ordeal. What a nightmare.

 

[cj]

Unfortunately the treatment you received is very common. It's much cheaper to offer a one size fits all detox plan that loads people up on cheap non abusable drugs than it is to create a customized plan for each patient. IMO that's the main reason rehab is so ineffective statistically. Also many of the doctors at those places are only there because they couldn't cut it in a private practice setting. They are often bitter about this and take it out on the addicts who they don't see as worthy of there expertise. You gotta figure that no one went to med school to work in a rehab lol.

Overall I recommend avoiding inpatient rehabs unless it is absolutely necessary or your one of those people who thrives in a structured institutionalized setting. Some people do. I have even met people who like rehab. Personally I hope to never go back.