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P&S Moderators: JackARoe | Cheshire_Kat
My experience and meaning I've found.
- Thread starter ziggo
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HeWhoHowls
Bluelighter
I wasn't talking about a middle existence. It does sound bland and unlively, but have noticed by diminishing some of this stuff that when both diminish at once, something comes along to take their place and life goes on without a hitch. Something on a deeper level, perhaps.
Noticing the issues with them, too: Seek happiness, and you'll be unhappy looking for it. These pairs don't work so good in the end, tho they look better in isolation. Happiness,yes! Oh wait, I'm stuck being unhappy without it.
It's a matter of taking a close look. Gain a lot of stuff and you've gained the need to guard it, keep it safe, more to lose, more to worry about, keep from being stolen, etc. Loss some stuff and you've gained less worry, less to lose, less to guard and keep safe, less to worry about. It turns out that these can be reversed. Loss is not the horror story made out to be, nor gain the endless garden of delights.
HeWhoHowls
Bluelighter
What about gain n loss in the context of emotion??
Surely you dnt have to safegaurd or worry about losing your happiness since you have complete control of it.
I dnt believe happiness can be found, it can only be made
HeWhoHowls
Bluelighter
Iv nevr known anyone who stated they were worried about losing an emotion. How do you lose an emotion??
You can only get rid of them voluntarily.
Depends on what kind of happiness. if it's fulfillment, contentment and peace, those are the effortless path (remove obstacles to them). If it's the success and relationship type, sure...
What? Only a few seconds of thought on that one? You feel sad... OK, turn it off. I'm scared. I think I'll throw the fear-off switch? 8)
People really ought to get more comfortable that you can't switch things on and off in life... there is a lot that can't just happen if you want it to. That leads more onto the effortless paths like peace, acceptance eventually than will, intention, etc.
P.S. in terms of lessening the impact of emotions, focusing on your body less can help, IME, along with going down the paths that lead to them less often.
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HeWhoHowls
Bluelighter
Hell thats how i get rid of unwanted emotions. but instead of hitting an instant switch, i find the root cause of said emotion n act upon it according to whats needed. while we dont have control of the external events of life, we do have complete control of how we perceive them, changing your perception changes your emotion about it
Sweet P
Bluelighter
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- 5,243
It would be a generalisation to say druggies lack self-confidence, self-love, or whatever.
I don't "love myself" but I'm confident and I have no problems accepting myself. Still, I'm a chronic meth addict and have been for years.
ziggo
Bluelighter
A lot of folks give too much of their time/attention to others... cutting back probably helps one take more time for oneself, too. A lot of peeps I've met would do better with less help anyway IMO... the best teacher is life, and often helping people who are "please help" types puts them into a bigger dependency. Often the "tough love" solution to the search for help, but life has to bring that about...
P.S. I kind of disagree that love is the answer to suffering. One has to go deeper and look at desire and fear. Fear is not as difficult as it seems -- it's a matter of timing. The "worst feeling" emotions often feel that way because of their opposites. Stop desiring so much, and fear lessens. Seek happiness less, and there's less sadness. The answer is not in "more". It's in the opposites, and noticing that seeking one, you get the other. Search for bliss, and pain will come along with it. And they're rarely missed. If happiness/sadness lessened, you wouldn't feel sad about it. If joy and sorrow came together, you wouldn't sorrow over lost times. Amd so forth...
P.S. at the end when you said "Nothing can cause you pain" -- watch the "nothing". "No thing". Just means not a single thing. But it's a "something" in a way, and you don't want it causing any pain.
You disagree that complete self-love is the answer to suffering, you are right. I said it was the answer to pain. Pain and suffering are very different as Buddhism and other things let on. Also if you help others when you can, they are still going to get that "tough love" situation sometime in their life, you can't help everyone all the time, but you can do what you can, and that is the most help you can offer so why not do that for a little while and see what happens?
To truly gain anything and keep it, you must accept the possibility of losing it/letting go of it and never having it return. Except when I do this it seems to return quite often.
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ziggo
Bluelighter
Yes but do you forgive yourself for everything you deem wrong that you have done? And can you forgive yourself the moment you commit any future wrongs, even if they come back to harm you? Will you be able to accept all of these aspects of unconditional forgiveness?
ziggo
Bluelighter
The only reason negative emotions feel just as strong in terms of energy level as positive emotions is because most people will "hold on" to negative emotions for longer, or many more individual moments of being in that mind-set. For example you feel regret over not protecting someone from something painful, you think about it every day at least 2 hours a day since it has happened. Then one of these days you feel blissful during an excellent conversation with your closest friend, you only feel the bliss for around 5seconds and you can't seem to keep it. You feel bad about this because to you it seems like that small amount of bliss wasn't worth the amount of pain you had to suffer through, feeling so much regret everyday, and then you might even regret this thought entirely.
If you could instead feel that regret as a neutral emotion and keep it from controlling your thoughts/time/energy you would realize that every time you get to that blissful state you are actually losing nothing. You are only passing time from one high to the next, the highs still feel just as high because you remember how the negative emotions feel from past memories.
You will also see that the lowest low you can now conceive is the patience you now need during these neutral moments, because you don't have a negative thought/emotion to obsess over and spend your time on. This is my one form of anxiety I still have, having to just be and practice patience during the neutral moments. But if you are being neutral instead of negative, you aren't gaining any more bad karma. This means you'll keep getting less and less negative/neutral possibilities and instead will get more and more positive ones, with less time in between the positives. This gain is simply worth the loss to me, and so I continue to practice this mind-set.
Also if you hold onto negative things for too many moments, you'll express them to other people and if those people are used to experiencing those same type of negative feelings/emotions they will take yours as theirs and then they can't stop thinking about it as well. This is why holding onto the negatives gives you bad karma, because it must spread eventually. Love the positive and gain good karma to help other less positive people see the greater positive possibility in front of them.
If you could instead feel that regret as a neutral emotion and keep it from controlling your thoughts/time/energy you would realize that every time you get to that blissful state you are actually losing nothing. You are only passing time from one high to the next, the highs still feel just as high because you remember how the negative emotions feel from past memories.
You will also see that the lowest low you can now conceive is the patience you now need during these neutral moments, because you don't have a negative thought/emotion to obsess over and spend your time on. This is my one form of anxiety I still have, having to just be and practice patience during the neutral moments. But if you are being neutral instead of negative, you aren't gaining any more bad karma. This means you'll keep getting less and less negative/neutral possibilities and instead will get more and more positive ones, with less time in between the positives. This gain is simply worth the loss to me, and so I continue to practice this mind-set.
Also if you hold onto negative things for too many moments, you'll express them to other people and if those people are used to experiencing those same type of negative feelings/emotions they will take yours as theirs and then they can't stop thinking about it as well. This is why holding onto the negatives gives you bad karma, because it must spread eventually. Love the positive and gain good karma to help other less positive people see the greater positive possibility in front of them.
ziggo
Bluelighter
I knew what I'm trying to express before I put words on it. I only type so much because I feel certain words in certain orders & also different sentences entirely are needed for different people to get the same message. I don't care if people don't get what I get, or simply can't/choose not too, but as long as people have questions they want answered I'll do my best to find the words that work.
ziggo
Bluelighter
Every thing/rule/law/restriction is something that makes you lose freedom in that area of living/being. In order to have complete and total freedom with no pain, everyone must be ready to destroy all these systems that restrict us from having out total freedom. These systems are simply enslavement to having to acquire your wants & needs with time restraints. We are slaves to these systems & the ONLY way to remove them from this world is the TRUTH.
THE TRUTH will set you FREE. Once you know enough small truths in everything that is said/expressed/understood you will be able to learn the big truth of the best way we should be living our lives, as well as how to be able to handle how good & positive, yet IMMENSE the change in lifestyle will be. It's how we will ANNIHILATE ALL FORMS OF SLAVERY AND BRING WORLD PEACE! Everyone that will still be living, that could accept this change will feel so good all the time, no worries, no stress, many blissful highs.
Learn the truth by having unconditional love.
THE TRUTH will set you FREE. Once you know enough small truths in everything that is said/expressed/understood you will be able to learn the big truth of the best way we should be living our lives, as well as how to be able to handle how good & positive, yet IMMENSE the change in lifestyle will be. It's how we will ANNIHILATE ALL FORMS OF SLAVERY AND BRING WORLD PEACE! Everyone that will still be living, that could accept this change will feel so good all the time, no worries, no stress, many blissful highs.
Learn the truth by having unconditional love.
Sweet P
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2009
- Messages
- 5,243
Yes. There's no point dwelling of past mistakes... I just try to learn from them and move on.
I find it harder to forgive others, especially if they have wronged my friends, my family or myself.
ziggo
Bluelighter
Oops I forgot to add that, forgiving others is also what is needed for unconditional forgiveness.
sssssssssss
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 11, 2009
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- 690
you cant forgive urself unless you forgive others
cause you display yourself as a collection of learned behaviors youve learned through justification from other people.
so if you have experienced something, a part of it will remain with you forever.
therefore if you cant forgive someone for doing something that you have seen, you cant forgive yourself because part of that action and emotion is still a part of you
its a wonder how everyone in the short run says theyll never be like their parents, and then time catches up with them
same concept.
you eventually have to forgive your parents because that action is all you know for that emotion and ur stuck with it.
unless of course.. you never forgive your parents but from experience ive noticed that those people havent ever forgiven themselves either... because they always say "its my parents fault"
cause you display yourself as a collection of learned behaviors youve learned through justification from other people.
so if you have experienced something, a part of it will remain with you forever.
therefore if you cant forgive someone for doing something that you have seen, you cant forgive yourself because part of that action and emotion is still a part of you
its a wonder how everyone in the short run says theyll never be like their parents, and then time catches up with them
same concept.
you eventually have to forgive your parents because that action is all you know for that emotion and ur stuck with it.
unless of course.. you never forgive your parents but from experience ive noticed that those people havent ever forgiven themselves either... because they always say "its my parents fault"
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stonerfromohio
Bluelighter
stonerfromohio
Bluelighter
99.9% of the things we do are for our self, and there isn't one. -Wei Wu Wei
One guy asked the dalai lama about having bad self-esteem and he had to ask the translator and the questioner to repeat and explain. In tibet they had no word for the equivalent of self-esteem. Emptiness points us back to the non-reality of a inherently existing self. I think this solves so many questions.
One guy asked the dalai lama about having bad self-esteem and he had to ask the translator and the questioner to repeat and explain. In tibet they had no word for the equivalent of self-esteem. Emptiness points us back to the non-reality of a inherently existing self. I think this solves so many questions.