• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

my ex is trying to do everything to humiliate me...?

R

rollll

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 9, 2011
Messages
36
Location
socal
basically im forced to sit across from him in one of my classes and i seriously will not even be looking at him/ acknowledging him and he'll freak out on me in front of other people. like last monday he just came at me out of nowhere saying " what is up with the faces youre making it looks like someone wiped baby shit all over your face" like in front of 2 other people & then he'll text me and tell me about all the girls he's fucking and just stupid ass hurtful shit that i really dont want to know. a few people have also been telling me hes been talking about me & shit when hes the one that broke up with me. i seriously dont understand what i did to him. he turned from the psycho ass controlling boyfriend to the guy that dumped me and didnt give a shit about me the next day like complete 180. anyways i dont understand why hes being like this & i need some advice on what i should do.
 
How old are you two, and is this something that can be brought up tactfully to an authority figure in your school?

It is May, so I am assuming summer break ( or something ) will allow for a separation that will allow him to cool down and stop fixating on you?

I think blocking his number or changing yours is something that must be done. Technology allows for an impulsiveness that is unhealthy and can quickly spiral out of control.
 
we both just turned 20 recently and were together for almost 2 years but i don't think so, he would just find something worse to do to me. but yeah i hope i wont ever see him again after this month because it hurts too much
 
hmm a control freak who now likes to bully you. nothing has really changed

my advice? avoid him as much as you can...

don't try to rationalise his behaviour- he sounds like a bit of a nutter. when someone behaves in a nasty way i would deal with it by not seeing them again.
 
I just broke up with my girlfriend because she told me that she had been cheating on me for over a year. She even gave me all the details just to hurt me further. Sometimes there are just cold blooded people in the world. Sometimes it takes a break up to show you the other persons true colors. Just hang in there and keep moving forward. I know it fucking sucks at first. The anger and frustration will fade with time. Ps, that guy sounds like an immature jerk to me.
 
Just ignore it. He's trying to get under your skin, don't let him. Call your phone company and block his number or better yet, get a new number.
 
block his number/get a new sim card.

avoid him in public and it will die down. if he continues harassing you (turning up at your house and shit) after these measures go to the police and have a record of everything that's occurred. obviously that's if this gets more severe but from on here i have no way of knowing what he is really like:\

good luck
 
CymbalKid said:
She said that he broke up with her so it doesn't make any sense that he's bullying her
Click to expand...

what does make sense is that she described him as controlling when in the relationship and now he is trying to bully her. two sides of the same coin because a controlling partner is often a bully
 
pofacedhoe said:
what does make sense is that she described him as controlling when in the relationship and now he is trying to bully her. two sides of the same coin because a controlling partner is often a bully
Click to expand...

Yeah that's very true
 
which means they were never partners to begin with

she was/is an extension of his own mind

she only serves him as an ego function

imo
 
Ugh what a douche. But yeah, clearly he doesn't really know how to handle the break-up (not cuz he broke up that it's any easier really) and humiliating you/trying to act as if he's 'won' the seperation (ie. is sleeping around and stuff) is his way of making himself feel better. Honestly I don't really know what to advise aside from just try to ignore and avoid him as much as possible :\ if you don't answer his taunts and don't show that it's affecting you, he'll realise how pointless and stupid his attempts are and will eventually stop. The best way to get back at him is to show you don't care!
 
You're getting good advice in this thread.
Some guys(and girls) get off on having a subservient partner. Someone that they can control and as a result will make them feel more powerful and better about themselves. The more you will bend for them, the more uncomfortable you're willing to make yourself, the better.
Breaking up with you is the ultimate power play. But, once that's done, if there's not someone else to take your place it's like, "Where do I direct my nastiness, anger, etc, now that she's(you) are gone?"
So, that's when the bullying type shit starts. It's a way to assert control over you and cause you pain, even though you're no longer in the relationship.

He wants to see you squirm. So...... Don't. As others have said, do whatever it is you have to do to separate yourself from him. Don't allow him any room to get at you.
People like that, the best thing you can do is make them feel like they no longer exist to you. It makes them frustrated and when they continuously still can't get to you it makes them feel small and most the time they'll just go away.
Eliminate him from your life. You don't need someone like that.
 
thanks for all the good advise guys, ive at least gotten a little bit of closure because i didnt understand why he was doing all this when ive been nothing but nice to him since hes broken up with me. its kind of really hard to accept that he never loved me & was using me for the ego thing but i know in my heart its true. its annoying because i still miss who i thought he was & our good memories together. ive given up all hope in relationships and because of how manipulative and abusive he was, i dont think ill ever trust a guy again. anyways ill probably update this in 2 days after i see him in class.
 
Just ignore him and don't take what he says personally or acknowledge it. You see him in classes so that will be tough but just say something like until you're ready to start acting like an adult and move on since I broke up with you don't talk to me, or just don't say anything at all but keep that attitude towards him since he sounds like a jerk. Also if you're on sites like facebook, etc. don't write about him and block him on those.
 
I wouldn't necessarily come to the conclusion that he never loved you or valued your company, etc. Everybody has two sides. Good and bad sides.
Some people are hard wired to love you so much that they are completely smothering, jealous and overprotective. That's just an example of how good turns to bad.
My point is you shouldn't beat yourself up or feel bad about valuing memories just because he was controlling or is now pulling this shit.
Don't give up on guys. We are fucking pricks. You've just gotta find one that minimizes his prick-like behavior. They're out there. Good luck with your class.
 
How much longer until the semester is over? He's acting very childish and knows how to hurt you. It's really mean to treat you like this. Just look forward to the day when you no longer have to deal with him in class. It may benefit you to speak to a counselor while you're there tomorrow. Hope next semester he won't be in any of your classes. If so, maybe by then he will have gotten this hostility out of his system or have found another girl to pick on. You would think by age 20 he would stop acting like such a immature dick. In the meantime, all you can do is ignore him. Don't give up on men. There's lots of sweet guys out there and you just happened to hook up with an asshole. Keep your head up and remember you're better than this!
 
rollll said:
basically im forced to sit across from him in one of my classes and i seriously will not even be looking at him/ acknowledging him and he'll freak out on me in front of other people. like last monday he just came at me out of nowhere saying " what is up with the faces youre making it looks like someone wiped baby shit all over your face" like in front of 2 other people & then he'll text me and tell me about all the girls he's fucking and just stupid ass hurtful shit that i really dont want to know. a few people have also been telling me hes been talking about me & shit when hes the one that broke up with me. i seriously dont understand what i did to him. he turned from the psycho ass controlling boyfriend to the guy that dumped me and didnt give a shit about me the next day like complete 180. anyways i dont understand why hes being like this & i need some advice on what i should do.
Click to expand...


It sounds like you may need to get a restraining order. I know it may sound extreme but he sounds unstable and this might discourage him from contacting you and making you uncomfortable. Him being controlling over you is abuse. He is verbally abusing you by saying awful things to you and by slandering you. If you at all feel that your safety is in jeopardy please do something about it. I was in a similar but a little worse situation and my protection order makes me feel safer knowing that if he continued with his psychotic problems and things escalated again, he would be arrested. I hope this post helps you. I just don't want you to have to go through the trauma I went through. Good luck and be safe.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top