My Dark Side

[Meso1988]

I’m a member here for a couple of months now and I just want to share my story.

I’m an addict for almost 10 years now. I take all sorts of substance (coke, heroin, meth, etc). I’m an alcoholic too which started when I was 18. I’m a liar and manipulative addict who steal from family. I can’t live without my drugs. I also suffered from anxiety that’s why my addiction grew stronger. I have no friends. My only friend is my “hobby” and you know all what that is. I have been arrested many times for my actions.

After 10 years of being an addict, I realized that I’m just wasting my life for a moment of being high on drugs. There was a moment that I want to commit suicide. I feel like I don’t have the right to live. That’s when I decided to stop and be clean. I’ve been in and out of the rehab. Cold turkey and NA meetings didn’t work too. But I didn’t give up. I want this madness to stop. Then my family sent me again to a detox treatment center and it’s a success. I am 7months clean now, no craving for anything now, except for food. That is the greatest I have achieved so far and I don’t want to come back to being an addict again.

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey Meso.. Congratulations on the success. Its an amzing thing when we find the path we need to change our lives. Keep up ehats working and dont let teh guard down.



I snipped out the link you provided, but I encourage you to right a review for your place in this thread. Rehab & Detox Clinics: Share your experiences

Again congratulations and best wishes in your recovery!!

NSFW:

 

[Cuhpcakes]

It's very reassuring to hear of your recovery Meso, thank you; I am very obliged!

I've been in your position, feeling as if my only vitality was granted from recreational drug abuse.

Opiates, weed, cough medicine, anti-psychotics, benzos; and even resorting to inhaling nail polish, colagne, deodorant sprays and the sort.

Robbing from loved ones isn't justified by "feeding an addiction" but the euphoria earned outweighed the guilt, because hell I've always felt dark and depressed.

I'm currently two days sober but that's no guarantee I'll continue to abstain. I've relapsed constantly these past months.

Glad to hear you're doing well though.

 

[Meso1988]

Cuhpcakes - Thank you for reading this and I'm proud of my decision Sober for 2 days is quite an achievement already, I know you can do it and I'm rooting for your success. Hang in there okay???

neversickanymore - Thank you for your words. I'll post on the link you provided, thank you

 

[Maya]

^Congrats Meso and welcome to sobriety. It is the best feeling in the world I guarantee you! Just be ready for struggles/obstacles and if you ever need help you can post here etc. Some of us have been through that path and are proud to have made it through. Bluellight is an amazing family to have and feel free to let us know about your progress in the coming days/months.