Not that ayone cares, just that i have no one to talk with. I am sitting here in tears after being to my family lawyer. Basically unless she has been raped by him or broken arm or severe neglect. I have no chance in hell of ever getting my daughter....or if she chooses. They have brainwashed her so badly since she's been 2 that daddy is #1 and I am scum.
He hasn't allowed her to call me all week, he was supposed to drop her off at 3:30pm tonight and no show so far and it's almost 9pm.
I have been basically told that I will never get custody of my kid until she chooses to live with me.
I get home to Terry yelling at me, my kid (son) hating me and still mad at me, terry now in bed still pissy at me. EVERYONE (except lawyer) raging at me.
My pills arenlt working and I am depressed, anxious, panicy and just at some moments wish I could just die. No one would care.....that's how i feel.
Everyone has been raging at me, yelling at me, hating me, telling what a fuck up I am. How i am never going to get my daughter. How if my daughter doesn;t show up at all this month at all, I cant even call the cops, as long as they don't leave the country Shane is legally allowed to do anything he fucking wishes to do and I cannot do anything AT ALL about it.....
I am going crazy....I am bawling......I am so beyond fucked up....
NO ONE cares..... not my ex-fiancee, not my bestfriend, not my london bestfriend....not my kids....no one.....
I cant even get fucked up high or spun or nod, I know no one but the one person who wished not to see me that has anything like that.
I have no one to be here for me..... no friend.....no family......
Only thing family said is "suck it up, oh well, your fault"......
yes, that made me feel awesome.
Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
FFUUUUUUUUCCCK!
All i wish is to be with someone right now that gave a shit about me, about what i am going through.....that they could hug me or hold me through the night..... that someone cared enough that i wouldnt feel like such shit and depressed and like wanting to die.
No one fucking cares......
Did anyone ever? Who knows.....
probably not.
I guess I'll just sit here alone all night and cry myself to sleep.
Who fucking cares.
He hasn't allowed her to call me all week, he was supposed to drop her off at 3:30pm tonight and no show so far and it's almost 9pm.
I have been basically told that I will never get custody of my kid until she chooses to live with me.
I get home to Terry yelling at me, my kid (son) hating me and still mad at me, terry now in bed still pissy at me. EVERYONE (except lawyer) raging at me.
My pills arenlt working and I am depressed, anxious, panicy and just at some moments wish I could just die. No one would care.....that's how i feel.
Everyone has been raging at me, yelling at me, hating me, telling what a fuck up I am. How i am never going to get my daughter. How if my daughter doesn;t show up at all this month at all, I cant even call the cops, as long as they don't leave the country Shane is legally allowed to do anything he fucking wishes to do and I cannot do anything AT ALL about it.....
I am going crazy....I am bawling......I am so beyond fucked up....
NO ONE cares..... not my ex-fiancee, not my bestfriend, not my london bestfriend....not my kids....no one.....
I cant even get fucked up high or spun or nod, I know no one but the one person who wished not to see me that has anything like that.
I have no one to be here for me..... no friend.....no family......
Only thing family said is "suck it up, oh well, your fault"......
yes, that made me feel awesome.
Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
FFUUUUUUUUCCCK!
All i wish is to be with someone right now that gave a shit about me, about what i am going through.....that they could hug me or hold me through the night..... that someone cared enough that i wouldnt feel like such shit and depressed and like wanting to die.
No one fucking cares......
Did anyone ever? Who knows.....
probably not.
I guess I'll just sit here alone all night and cry myself to sleep.
Who fucking cares.