My cat/best friend died last night

[my innerself]

My cat died last night. His name was Flint Marco. I had a friend come round for a few drinks and not long after she left she called me to tell me she saw a cat on the side of the road that looked like Flinty. She came back to my house and drove me to him. I knew it was him as soon as I saw him laying there. I picked him up and cuddled him and broke down. He was still warm.

I have suffered from severe depression for over seven years. As well as drug addiction and alcoholism. That cat was my best friend. He loved me. He didn't judge me or hurt me. He demanded respect and got it.

I brought him home. I can't stop crying. His face was crushed. His brain fluid leaked over my arm as I held him.

I dug a hole in my yard and sat with him for about 3 hours patting him and crying.

I'm devestated. I had nightmares all last night, and today I have been drinking heavily.

I miss him so much. He was my best friend. He never judged me and loved me unconditionally. I feel like I'm going to spiral into my drug and alcohol abuse again. I had him for 4 years. And now his gone.

 

[PhrostByte]

Loss is a part of life. It hurts but c'est la vie. You'll eventually grow to accept it and you shouldn't jeopardize sobriety over this. Remember.. you have to accept the things you cannot change.

 

[Dave]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, and offer my condolences. It's never easy to lose a pet, especially in violent circumstances like that. It is a part of pet ownership, and happens all the time, but it doesn't make it any easier.

It hurts, and it may seem like the quickest relief of the pain is relapse, but you know as well as I do that by doing so you will only have more pain in the long run. Grief needs to be dealt with in its own time, or it will multiply and come out in other ways.

Speaking of which, have you seen our Grief/Bereavement thread? I think that it would be an excellent read for you, and there will be people therein who have gone through something like what you are going through now, recently or recently-enough to be of help.

 

[villian]

sorry man.

 

[herbavore]

I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. For those of us that bond with animals deeply, it is every bit as traumatic as the death of a human friend. Each time I have had to go through the loss of an animal that I have bonded with I am crushed. The initial weeks are the hardest.I had an experience very like yours and seeing the body like that is a hard thing to get over.

You will have to be very strong in the coming weeks. As others have said, spiraling back down into abuse of drugs and alcohol will not help at all--only add to your pure and understandable grief a ton of problems that you don't need right now. Please do everything you can to avoid doing that.

Some people will try to minimize what you are going through because it was a cat and not a human in your life. People will tell you to just go get another cat, etc. Don't let them get to you. As much as losing my pets hurts, I am grateful to be able to bond with animals on the level I do. You gave your cat a life of love and he returned your love with his. Burying your grief will only prolong it so look for avenues that help you express all the love you had. Talk to people that understand, post pictures and tell stories about Flinty's life. You can do that here for as long as you need. There are so many animal lovers on this site that understand how deep your pain is.

So much love to you.

 

[villian]

People will tell you to just go get another cat, etc. Don't let them get to you.

I actually think it is good advice. When an animal dies we aren't trying to replace it. But if your pet dies and you find yourself in the position to be able to save another cat, why not? You can love a new pet and not forget your old one.

 

[rangrz]

bro; forgive my sloppy prose, <snip>:

But I feel you. I fucking love cats, and I have one right now that means as much as any person does to me. I too lost a special cat, and I was no joke; more depressed than I was seeing my buddies killed in the war.

Your emotion is valid and not unusual, cats are awesome.

But I urge you, honour his/her memory by not falling into an addiction. Be strong in your mourning. Its normal to miss him and you will miss him for while. But thus is life, be happy you had such a felidae friend for 4 years!

 

[herbavore]

I agree, villian, and I should have elaborated. Once after a favorite cat of mine died someone gave me a kitten right away thinking that would help me out of my grief. How can a kitten not do that, right? But what happened for me was that I was just numb to this charming little creature and just kept comparing my old cat and the developed-over-time-relationship with this new little interloper. That kitten went on to become one of my favorite cats ever and I always felt kind of bad about my closed heart when I first got her. (I'm sure she didn't care ). But what I learned from that experience is that you need time to grieve before your heart is willing to open again. Grief may be short-lived or long but it is something to honor IME. So what I should have said to the OP is that he will know when he is ready.

 

[OverDone]

RIP Flint Marco

The pain will fade but the memories won't. Feel those emotions completely and remember that he'll always be with you.

There's nothing more painful than losing those we love. My thoughts are with you and Flint

 

[tremours]

yes i agree a kitten would make almost anyone happy, while youll always miss your old cat it doesnt mean you cant move on

 

[Fyasko.]

RIP Flint Marco

The pain will fade but the memories won't. Feel those emotions completely and remember that he'll always be with you.

There's nothing more painful than losing those we love. My thoughts are with you and Flint

^+1
i got chills and teary-eyed reading your post innerself...
ugh i cant even imagine how painful that must be, my cat is sleeping right next to me
im so sorry

 

[herbavore]

OP, feel like posting a picture?

 

[Albion]

When my cat of 8 years got run over by the next-door neighbour's car, it was the single most traumatising loss I've ever had. I've never known grief like it. It's the graphic nature, the shock and the suddenness of the death that made it so unbearable. It happened about 4 years ago, but the memory is still really upsetting. It takes a long time to accept that they're truly gone for good. Argh, god I'm actually crying now.

I dread the day my other cat dies. We share an unspoken friendship...He never feels more comfortable than when he's with me. All I can hope for is that he dies a much more natural, satisfying way. There's nothing redeemable about losing any loved one to a careless driver.

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ I'm sorry for your loss JSPete I can really relate to that too, after having been through my cat's death last week I am absolutely dreading the moment my dog dies. He is my baby and it pains me to even think about it
It just makes me cherish the time that I have left with him even more

My cat died last night. His name was Flint Marco. I had a friend come round for a few drinks and not long after she left she called me to tell me she saw a cat on the side of the road that looked like Flinty. She came back to my house and drove me to him. I knew it was him as soon as I saw him laying there. I picked him up and cuddled him and broke down. He was still warm.

I miss him so much. He was my best friend. He never judged me and loved me unconditionally. I feel like I'm going to spiral into my drug and alcohol abuse again. I had him for 4 years. And now his gone.

I am so sorry for your loss innerself *hugs*
RIP Flinty
I feel your pain, my beautiful cat died last weekend too. He was the most amazing and most affectionate animal I had ever known, and everyone who ever met him absolutely loved him. Me and my partner always commented on how lucky we were to have such an amazing cat, and we never took him for granted. I just wish we had more time with him, although I'm grateful for the time we did have with him
When he'd passed away, I too sat there patting him and crying for so long. We were at the vet's office so we had to eventually leave but I honestly could've sat there patting my beautiful kitty for hours...

innerself, this is something that badfish said to me when I was sad last week after my cat died:
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Dr Suess
Honestly, last week was really rough, not having my cat around the house, expecting to see him everywhere but then remembering that he's not coming back And when I was crying because I was sad, I remembered what badfish said and it made me feel better, because I remembered all the wonderful times I had with my kitty

I hope you feel better soon man, I know how much you're hurting right now. Please PM me if you want to talk about it okay?? Take care


I'm crying now too...and at work as well! Damnit! I miss my beautiful cat

 

[Albion]

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Dr Suess

I find that thinking about the good memories is the hardest thing to deal with. For me, they just remind me that there will be no more memories to come...Call me pessimistic, but thinking about my dead cat doesn't fill me with joy and thankfulness for the good times. I just try not to think about it. It doesn't bother me any more except for moments like this when I truly stop and remember.

I kind of wish pets would be more aware of the fact that they're going to die before their owners do. I don't even think my cat realises that he will die. Death is something that he makes mice and birds do. He never saw the body of his sister cat, so as far as he's concerned, cats don't die. They just mysteriously disappear all of a sudden.

 

[Larson0]

i always worry about my cats being outside. 3 of them and they usually stay in the backyard but one is young (and a homo) and goes in the street sometimes. plus cocksuckers would run him over on purpose around here, they are such scumbags.

i know i posted in 2 threads in 10 minutes about wanting to stomp my cats head in for being a bastard homo, but hes alright most of the time. once he gives me my glasses back he'll be alright that is. i know that motherfucker knocked them off the table and took them in his mouth somewhere.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Hey Larson, you know the solution to your concerns about your cats being outside?? Keep them inside
Seriously man, there are multiple benefits to keeping your cats indoors and only letting them outside under supervised conditions. This is not really the appropriate thread to talk about such things as the OP is grieving, but please consider keeping your cats inside

 

[Asclepius]

Sorry for your loss man, it is so easy to get attached to a creature. They can be such wonderful companions. Please look after yourself.

 

[suessmayr]

I think it's easy for people who don't 'get' the animal thing to just fail to understand where someone like the OP is coming from. At first - even though I love animals - I was like 'well this is weak'. But then I imagined this happening with one of my cats and it was like *bam*. I couldn't really imagine something more traumatic.

Obviously getting wasted is not the solution. If your cat had suffered a head injury it seems likely that there was at least minimal pain involved.

 

[my innerself]

Thankyou to everyone who has posted here. Your kind words are definately cheering me up. I guess I'm still in a bit of shock. Holding him in my arms and seeing his face the way it was is hard to believe and understand. I could tell it was him because he had a little black patch under his nose, I akwyas thought it looked like a hitler moustache lol.

I keep thinking it was some kinda dream and maybe it was another cat I buried, maybe he might be there waiting for me when I get home, but a guess I have to let go. It's so hard though. I loved him like he was human. He made me feel human. All my fond memories, I can still feel them, there still so fresh it's like I can touch them. I still have his hair on the mat near the heater where he would sit.

Thankyou everyone again. Your kindness has really touched me. I don't know what else to say. I feel so sad.

I will put up a photo as soon as I can. Thankyou everyone.