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My boyfriend doesn't seem interested in having sex

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Teesa30

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Joined
Sep 5, 2017
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I'm with my boyfriend going on 2 years now. We are both in our early 40's. He is currently on testosterone therapy for low test levels. It seemed to help at first But lately it seems like he has no energy for sex. He eats a pretty healthy diet most of the time, takes supplements and frequents the gym. (He has energy for that!)
Although we only see each other on the weekends, ( he lives in NJ and I live in NY) I do not think he's cheating.
He works a lot of OT during the week and is constantly texting and calling me. My sex drive is extremely high and he will not say no to sex. But I can tell he's not into it, which is a big turn off to me.
I've tried talking to him several x's and I don't know if it's me not communicating well, but he says he always feels like "I'm backing him in a corner" and there is really no resolution.
We do love each other very much and get along wonderfully and have been talking about moving in together in the future. But I'm afraid to make that step and end up in a sexless relationship.
I hate that I'm starting to become consumed with this and don't know what to do?
 
Sounds exactly like the problem I was having with an ex. He worked a lot and didn't want sex as much as I did. I was very unsatisfied and this made him feel bad too.

You've only been together for 2 years, I would get out of it! You are not married or have children, nothing to be tied down too. Life is too short to be miserable and not fulfilled sexually.

My current boyfriend does physical labor 12-14 hours a day. He is 45 (I'm early 30s) and he STILL wants to have sex with me every chance he gets. That's because he has a high sex drive, even higher than mine at times.

You have to find someone who has the same kind of libido.
 
Teesa30 said:
I'm afraid to make that step and end up in a sexless relationship.
Click to expand...
As someone who has been in a sexless relationship, I can tell you that it sucks, and you don't want to go down that path - unless you're both okay with you having a boyfriend on the side.

Teesa30 said:
lately it seems like he has no energy for sex. He eats a pretty healthy diet most of the time, takes supplements and frequents the gym. (He has energy for that!)
Click to expand...
Although having enough energy is part of it, it's not the whole story. I actually find that a certain amount of exercise tends to give me more energy throughout the day and week. What you're describing is a difference in sex drive, not energy level.

So you've been going out for a while now. You owe it to yourself and him to talk through it before you break it up. Tell him that you're sensing a lack of enthusiasm on his part. Is he not turned on? Is he suffering from a lack of confidence? If he's willing to work with you on this, that's one thing. But if he's not - then you don't want to be stuck in a sexless relationship. Be honest with him about it. If it's important enough to you to chat about it here - with a bunch of strangers - then it should be important enough for him to pay attention.

Best of luck to you. I hope it works out. ;-)
 
I agree with PerhapsNow and CoastTwoCoast.

You've only been together for 2 years and only see each other at the weekends. He should want to pounce on you at every opportunity!

As Coast said, you're not married, you don't have children, now is make or break. It's a lot easier to find the right person than to fix a problematic relationship!

I've been with my husband for 15 years. Our sex life has become very unfilling. It's difficult to fix.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes x
 
It sounds more like a low T biology chemistry issue....talk to drs.. see what other options he has. Or can he change his diet to increase his T levels?
 
This could be a lot of things - a mismatch in sex drives, a biological issue for him or he is just not that into you the way he or you think. Whatever it is, you need to find out BEFORE you would move in together or get married. This should be a time when the two of you cannot keep your hands off each other, and not seeing each other except on weekends, should heighten the sexual excitement. This will NOT get better if you take your relationship to the next level and are with each other 24/7. Try and figure this out now, whatever the outcome, you will both be better off for it. Good luck and let us know what happens.
 
Interesting that teesa is looking for all kinds of issues of what could be wrong with HIM...Teesa have you had a good look at yourself and do you realize it could be YOU?
 
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