eye_wide_open
Bluelighter
wrtiing this while afterglow it's heavy still lol acid like. trails and giggly and slippery.
I was sitting here reading bluelight.
It was about 10pm and I dosed higher than usual.
Instead of the normal 15mg I had gone down to
I went to 30mg because my tolerance was building.
30mg finely chopped up the nose it was. Felt good as ever. Sorry
but being an ex tweeker and ex coke addict sticking things
up your nose is fun. MXE don't burn and seems to
give the satisfying rush.
10:30 I'm looking around noticing a good kick from the 30mg tonight.
Reading bluelight watching youtube trip reports and playing 3D Zelda ocarina of time
on 3D nintendo. Trying to figure out why I'm so scared of DMT.
Watching more videos and trips and crap on youtube.
Feel drunk like normal MXE. Feels good.
So I cut out another 20mg bump. Thinking my tolerance
was hiked way up considering what happened last bought with 100mg
didn't get too much going.
Another 20mg finely chopped pile went up the nose.
11:00pm rolls around and I'm feeling straight wonky so I figure
been overlapping last trip and I'm near the bottom of my bag.
22more mg comes out. Choppped fine and up it goes.
I start feeling the effects from all the overlapping and doubling of
what I normally do taking place. The familiar heavy drunk feeling
starts to feel like I'm disolving. I'm like ooohhhhkkk partner time to
go lay down and get off the internet now and stop talking online.
Grab the weed and the lighter and ophone and jump in bed.
I must have got distracted by half a million things on the way to getting
bed which delayed the whole process by who knows how long now because
the time has absolutely gone the fuck out the window. I'm guessing it's about midnight.
Something stupid makes me think I might have taken another 15mg bump
on the sneak before I jumped in bed while being distracted, that's kinda
how fun and sneaky and cool things became this night. haha
Fast farward and I saved the world and got in bed and shit is beginning to happen.
I feel like I ripped the DMT pipe all the sudden in my disolved state.
I feel a big waaaave of covers and blankets ripple through bed and hit
me in the face. My whole body begins to vibrate in tone with the waves
now rippling around my bed and covers like water. At about this time,,
I know shit is going to start getting good. A huuuuge grin comes over my face.
I lay back and think, "YES! This is it! Space travel tonight baby!
Here comes the euphoria!" And before I knew it I was in complete exctacy
and euphoria and floating in the dark matter in space and bright colorful
nebulous energy. Eyes wide open or shut, this trip was for sure, for real for
keeps! I knew I had broken through, I knew I was there, it was good
everything felt more amazing than sex and candy put together in your mouth
for you to taste and the body high was out of this world undescribable.
I was so happy I was finally smack dab in the middle of the bigest
euphoria hole I had ever found myself in yet.
My last MXE super breakthrough was a weekling in comparison to this trip I thought
to myself. I was stretching in bed and rolling around and everything felt like
pure gold. Every movement you made felt like to best thing anyone in the
world could have ever done to you and was so perfect and pleaseing
that every time I moved it made me smile more and more as I knew what I Was
experiencing and to actually be like "Yeah I'm going to sit here
and have tons of fun with this wonderful great feeling and enjoy the living
shit out of this forever while I can!"
and then the thinking started to come on.
I started to think about all my little problems in life.
How we are all so insignificant. How it was so incredible I can sit here
feeling so much better than sex yet nobody knows. How all the people
I know intertangle in my life. Why I Was having problems with each person or not.
HGow each problem was going to play out with each person in the best possible manner
if I could create the correct speach to convey my feelings on the right note
to strike their tune and get response and trigger a feeling.
I began to write family members I was not speaking with emails of apology and remorse.
Expressing I am not perfect either and maybe don't deserve everything that has happened
to me as much as the next guy. I saw how getting work and taking care of my shit
was the right thing to do as much as mending all ties with the people I have problems
with to ley the grounds to better my future. All the while high as hell
body feeling so good.
After a while it all got so intense around the peak that my heart started piunding hard!
My legs were shaking and my breathing was super deep! It was like I had taken
3 rips of DMT which I hadn't for 24 hours since the night before trying to practice my calmness
by spacing my light hits and not breaking through. I felt as though the DMT
use from the night before had something to do with how high I was becoming.
I was "told" or "shown" by " something" that this was true.
Then I could really feel my heart start to pound.
There was a presence there with me as I lay back high as fuck looking at the cieling.
My heart began to become the only thing I noticed, trying to break lit's way out of my chest it was
beating so heavily, but not fast. just like BOOM BOOM BOOM like bass at a concert but slower.
Then I felt like reality was splitting. everything began to have several edges to it
as opposed to one. At this point, it felt like I felt something moving inside me that
not mine. Not of my belonging. I felt like I was starting to die! I was high as fuck!
But there was something in me that I could actually feel, squeezing my heart to make
sure it kept going! I could feel a being alive inside of me that was not me
as I watched outside of my body that had split from the edges.
I was wrtiting things down on my iphone notepad and at this point
I wronte:
"I broke through again.
It's making me twitch
I love this. Taste like candy.
This trip has been out of this world.
Somebody flipped a switch and triggered this.
Galaxies and gods and all kinda shit with my eyes wide open"
"Massive Vibrations.
That's my flying song at five million miles an hour"
My typing on the iphone has become hyperspeed and alien like.
My fingers know where to land at extremely efficient paces to type in a
fast blurred rapid manner much more out of this world than so possible by humans.
I worte that I was a supermassive jackpot hitter and had found the holy grail.
I felt whopping of power bands whopwhopwhopwhopwhop like dubstep flying through the air.
Massive intense vibrations.
I started to be amaxed at all the crazy things I was doing and it was overloading my
heart and becoming too much. I had to sit up in bed and make myself snap out of it a bit
because it felt like I started to even go too deep for a minute. The alien life support
(duno why I call it that, that's just how I felt) was taking over and trying
to make sure my heart stayed beating. I sat up, walked to the bathroom against my will,
got some water, walked back to bed, then back into the bathroom for no reason with the water
then back to bed with the water and drank it and put my hand on my heart.
It was beating huge so I knew I just had to si there and cool it for a few and breath and
drink water because everything felt so good it was going to kill me. I had
obviously struck a good note and had to play my cool for a few minutes to keep in the game.
Once I managed to calm myself and my massive heart down my body began to shake again so badly
this time that I felt the bed shake. Then I bagan to think I was causing the earth
to have earthquakes. I quickly hopped out of bed and ducked down
and realised the house was not shaking.
All was good. It was just my massive heart beating so massively I got startled
into thinking we were having a quake.
After this was over in a minute or so I realized I had broken through,
why not try to stay for a while longer?
Poof 15mg on the scale and up my nose. Into bed I go.
By this time it's 4am. lol
The euphoria is unbearable it's so good. I god away with feeling better last night
than I ever have in my entire life anywhere, besides the scary heart pounding
alien life support stuff when I had spirits in me keeping me alive.
about 4:30 rolls aroun and I'm rolling around in bed stretching and laughing and writing
weird shyt on the iphone and praising MXE and wiritng my friends texts
how I high I was so they think I'm nuts in the monring and grinding my teeth and
everything just felt good for hours. I had a quick revisit of the peek
from the trailing bump I did and then I came on bluelight to let you all know my
whole wholrd exploded into euphoria from outterspace so grand
I could never explain it all in details.
Of course the whole time I was there I Was having massive bouts of epiphonies,
learning things from the collective subconcious and riding the colors around in space
between typing sentances on the crazy triptou of an iphone.
Better than smoked DMT breakthroughs by miles for sure. Much longer for me.
Comes up smoother, last much longer and you can redose when you do
find the breakthrough to help nudge you there longer!
Be careful though don't get your heart pounding too hard on alien life support!
Kinda creepy feeling a spirit reach inside of you and pinch your heart to keep it going!
I'm pretty sure I had out of body expriece and death during this trip at some point.
I also gave birth to the normal universe that you usually feel come out of you on MXE too.
This time was just so more more intense than the first time it was amazing.
But the information level was less. This trip was to work on me, not to teach me things,
even though it did teach me. It was more to help me release some demons I had hiding
and let go of some grudges I had. I think I am clear to move on with live now after this.
I got an amazing afterglow that came on all the sudden seemingly
after I came down. A good hour later I got smacked in the face with a HUGE RUSH and
went to lay back down in bed to enjoy it and laughed my ass of and stretched and giggled
and felt like sweet tatsing candy again in my bed.
So weird and yet so amaing! I love eating candy in every day life
and when I do MXE it just gives me this "I am the strecthy sweet tasting taffy you all lovge" feeling
hahaha
I guess I can't explain that one. Enjoy!
Hope you guys make it here. Incredible.
I know for a fact there is more I am leaving out right now that I cannot explain.
To me this was much deeper than anything I have found on DMT before, but
I know you can get just as far out there on DMT as well so don't think I'm
talking down to it. Just don't disregard MXE when you are looking for that
"OUT OF THIS WORLD BREAKTHROUGH" because it's there... FOR SURE.
I've felt it twice now and this time was even much much better.
Hells to the mofudgin YES!
I was so satisfied with this breakthrough, I tossed the last 50mg I had in the bag of MXE in
the toilet and flushed it! I could care less if I ever get to do MXE again but
damn son that stuff sure was out of this world and amazing!
I know I need a good break from it because I have the tendancy to binge so
I think that's kinda why I threw it in the toilet!
I don't need to become an MXE addict and I might even slow down smoking weed
and just try and focus more on bettering myself before
I come back to some of these great hallucinogens.
I loved it. So amazing and out of this world.
I'll be kicking myself tomorrow for flushing my bag but SO WHAT!
THAT WAS RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
Get your afterglow on.
Peace out bluelighters. Much love.
Thanks for all the help and direction.
I was sitting here reading bluelight.
It was about 10pm and I dosed higher than usual.
Instead of the normal 15mg I had gone down to
I went to 30mg because my tolerance was building.
30mg finely chopped up the nose it was. Felt good as ever. Sorry
but being an ex tweeker and ex coke addict sticking things
up your nose is fun. MXE don't burn and seems to
give the satisfying rush.
10:30 I'm looking around noticing a good kick from the 30mg tonight.
Reading bluelight watching youtube trip reports and playing 3D Zelda ocarina of time
on 3D nintendo. Trying to figure out why I'm so scared of DMT.
Watching more videos and trips and crap on youtube.
Feel drunk like normal MXE. Feels good.
So I cut out another 20mg bump. Thinking my tolerance
was hiked way up considering what happened last bought with 100mg
didn't get too much going.
Another 20mg finely chopped pile went up the nose.
11:00pm rolls around and I'm feeling straight wonky so I figure
been overlapping last trip and I'm near the bottom of my bag.
22more mg comes out. Choppped fine and up it goes.
I start feeling the effects from all the overlapping and doubling of
what I normally do taking place. The familiar heavy drunk feeling
starts to feel like I'm disolving. I'm like ooohhhhkkk partner time to
go lay down and get off the internet now and stop talking online.
Grab the weed and the lighter and ophone and jump in bed.
I must have got distracted by half a million things on the way to getting
bed which delayed the whole process by who knows how long now because
the time has absolutely gone the fuck out the window. I'm guessing it's about midnight.
Something stupid makes me think I might have taken another 15mg bump
on the sneak before I jumped in bed while being distracted, that's kinda
how fun and sneaky and cool things became this night. haha
Fast farward and I saved the world and got in bed and shit is beginning to happen.
I feel like I ripped the DMT pipe all the sudden in my disolved state.
I feel a big waaaave of covers and blankets ripple through bed and hit
me in the face. My whole body begins to vibrate in tone with the waves
now rippling around my bed and covers like water. At about this time,,
I know shit is going to start getting good. A huuuuge grin comes over my face.
I lay back and think, "YES! This is it! Space travel tonight baby!
Here comes the euphoria!" And before I knew it I was in complete exctacy
and euphoria and floating in the dark matter in space and bright colorful
nebulous energy. Eyes wide open or shut, this trip was for sure, for real for
keeps! I knew I had broken through, I knew I was there, it was good
everything felt more amazing than sex and candy put together in your mouth
for you to taste and the body high was out of this world undescribable.
I was so happy I was finally smack dab in the middle of the bigest
euphoria hole I had ever found myself in yet.
My last MXE super breakthrough was a weekling in comparison to this trip I thought
to myself. I was stretching in bed and rolling around and everything felt like
pure gold. Every movement you made felt like to best thing anyone in the
world could have ever done to you and was so perfect and pleaseing
that every time I moved it made me smile more and more as I knew what I Was
experiencing and to actually be like "Yeah I'm going to sit here
and have tons of fun with this wonderful great feeling and enjoy the living
shit out of this forever while I can!"
and then the thinking started to come on.
I started to think about all my little problems in life.
How we are all so insignificant. How it was so incredible I can sit here
feeling so much better than sex yet nobody knows. How all the people
I know intertangle in my life. Why I Was having problems with each person or not.
HGow each problem was going to play out with each person in the best possible manner
if I could create the correct speach to convey my feelings on the right note
to strike their tune and get response and trigger a feeling.
I began to write family members I was not speaking with emails of apology and remorse.
Expressing I am not perfect either and maybe don't deserve everything that has happened
to me as much as the next guy. I saw how getting work and taking care of my shit
was the right thing to do as much as mending all ties with the people I have problems
with to ley the grounds to better my future. All the while high as hell
body feeling so good.
After a while it all got so intense around the peak that my heart started piunding hard!
My legs were shaking and my breathing was super deep! It was like I had taken
3 rips of DMT which I hadn't for 24 hours since the night before trying to practice my calmness
by spacing my light hits and not breaking through. I felt as though the DMT
use from the night before had something to do with how high I was becoming.
I was "told" or "shown" by " something" that this was true.
Then I could really feel my heart start to pound.
There was a presence there with me as I lay back high as fuck looking at the cieling.
My heart began to become the only thing I noticed, trying to break lit's way out of my chest it was
beating so heavily, but not fast. just like BOOM BOOM BOOM like bass at a concert but slower.
Then I felt like reality was splitting. everything began to have several edges to it
as opposed to one. At this point, it felt like I felt something moving inside me that
not mine. Not of my belonging. I felt like I was starting to die! I was high as fuck!
But there was something in me that I could actually feel, squeezing my heart to make
sure it kept going! I could feel a being alive inside of me that was not me
as I watched outside of my body that had split from the edges.
I was wrtiting things down on my iphone notepad and at this point
I wronte:
"I broke through again.
It's making me twitch
I love this. Taste like candy.
This trip has been out of this world.
Somebody flipped a switch and triggered this.
Galaxies and gods and all kinda shit with my eyes wide open"
"Massive Vibrations.
That's my flying song at five million miles an hour"
My typing on the iphone has become hyperspeed and alien like.
My fingers know where to land at extremely efficient paces to type in a
fast blurred rapid manner much more out of this world than so possible by humans.
I worte that I was a supermassive jackpot hitter and had found the holy grail.
I felt whopping of power bands whopwhopwhopwhopwhop like dubstep flying through the air.
Massive intense vibrations.
I started to be amaxed at all the crazy things I was doing and it was overloading my
heart and becoming too much. I had to sit up in bed and make myself snap out of it a bit
because it felt like I started to even go too deep for a minute. The alien life support
(duno why I call it that, that's just how I felt) was taking over and trying
to make sure my heart stayed beating. I sat up, walked to the bathroom against my will,
got some water, walked back to bed, then back into the bathroom for no reason with the water
then back to bed with the water and drank it and put my hand on my heart.
It was beating huge so I knew I just had to si there and cool it for a few and breath and
drink water because everything felt so good it was going to kill me. I had
obviously struck a good note and had to play my cool for a few minutes to keep in the game.
Once I managed to calm myself and my massive heart down my body began to shake again so badly
this time that I felt the bed shake. Then I bagan to think I was causing the earth
to have earthquakes. I quickly hopped out of bed and ducked down
and realised the house was not shaking.
All was good. It was just my massive heart beating so massively I got startled
into thinking we were having a quake.
After this was over in a minute or so I realized I had broken through,
why not try to stay for a while longer?
Poof 15mg on the scale and up my nose. Into bed I go.
By this time it's 4am. lol
The euphoria is unbearable it's so good. I god away with feeling better last night
than I ever have in my entire life anywhere, besides the scary heart pounding
alien life support stuff when I had spirits in me keeping me alive.
about 4:30 rolls aroun and I'm rolling around in bed stretching and laughing and writing
weird shyt on the iphone and praising MXE and wiritng my friends texts
how I high I was so they think I'm nuts in the monring and grinding my teeth and
everything just felt good for hours. I had a quick revisit of the peek
from the trailing bump I did and then I came on bluelight to let you all know my
whole wholrd exploded into euphoria from outterspace so grand
I could never explain it all in details.
Of course the whole time I was there I Was having massive bouts of epiphonies,
learning things from the collective subconcious and riding the colors around in space
between typing sentances on the crazy triptou of an iphone.
Better than smoked DMT breakthroughs by miles for sure. Much longer for me.
Comes up smoother, last much longer and you can redose when you do
find the breakthrough to help nudge you there longer!
Be careful though don't get your heart pounding too hard on alien life support!
Kinda creepy feeling a spirit reach inside of you and pinch your heart to keep it going!
I'm pretty sure I had out of body expriece and death during this trip at some point.
I also gave birth to the normal universe that you usually feel come out of you on MXE too.
This time was just so more more intense than the first time it was amazing.
But the information level was less. This trip was to work on me, not to teach me things,
even though it did teach me. It was more to help me release some demons I had hiding
and let go of some grudges I had. I think I am clear to move on with live now after this.
I got an amazing afterglow that came on all the sudden seemingly
after I came down. A good hour later I got smacked in the face with a HUGE RUSH and
went to lay back down in bed to enjoy it and laughed my ass of and stretched and giggled
and felt like sweet tatsing candy again in my bed.
So weird and yet so amaing! I love eating candy in every day life
and when I do MXE it just gives me this "I am the strecthy sweet tasting taffy you all lovge" feeling
hahaha
I guess I can't explain that one. Enjoy!
Hope you guys make it here. Incredible.
I know for a fact there is more I am leaving out right now that I cannot explain.
To me this was much deeper than anything I have found on DMT before, but
I know you can get just as far out there on DMT as well so don't think I'm
talking down to it. Just don't disregard MXE when you are looking for that
"OUT OF THIS WORLD BREAKTHROUGH" because it's there... FOR SURE.
I've felt it twice now and this time was even much much better.
Hells to the mofudgin YES!
I was so satisfied with this breakthrough, I tossed the last 50mg I had in the bag of MXE in
the toilet and flushed it! I could care less if I ever get to do MXE again but
damn son that stuff sure was out of this world and amazing!
I know I need a good break from it because I have the tendancy to binge so
I think that's kinda why I threw it in the toilet!
I don't need to become an MXE addict and I might even slow down smoking weed
and just try and focus more on bettering myself before
I come back to some of these great hallucinogens.
I loved it. So amazing and out of this world.
I'll be kicking myself tomorrow for flushing my bag but SO WHAT!
THAT WAS RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
Get your afterglow on.
Peace out bluelighters. Much love.
Thanks for all the help and direction.
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