Ramirez
Bluelighter
Time of ingestion: 0130
Setting: My house, parents are asleep.
Mindset: Eager to have an interesting experience.
Within the first hour of ingesting the mushrooms, during which I was idly playing Pokémon Blue Version (an oldschool guilty pleasure of mine) I began to realize that this was going to be quite unlike my last (and first) foray into the world of mushrooms. I’d say within a half hour, I began to feel the effects. I noticed shifting objects, faint fractals starting to emerge into my closed-eye view, and that strange bodily sensation. For some fun, I decided to watch a video, posted on another forum, just for the lulz. I didn’t have sound the first time I watched it, but it amused me greatly and led to much giggling. I happened to have a laser pointer in my pocket, and most trippers should know that laser pointers are extremely fun to play with during a trip. I randomly waved it across the ceiling in my room, and I discovered that not only was there a long trail following the red pinprick of light, but that I was influencing my visuals with the laser. I decided to write random stuff with it on my ceiling. It was like my ceiling was a canvas, and I was painting temporary pictures with my laser pointer. I eventually got bored with it, and just watched the fractal light show for a little while.
By this point, I decided I wanted to go outside for a smoke. Since I’ve passed my pre-employment drug screen (the whole reason I even ate the mushrooms in the first place) I knew it would be safe to smoke the tiny bit of bud I had left: a half-bowl’s worth of rezzy Purple Kush. I know for a fact that it was about an hour after I ate the mushrooms that I finally took the toke, and as a result, the visuals intensified. I was sitting on a set of old, wooden steps in the backyard, in my own little world, and I had full confidence nobody could see or hear me.
As I stood up (the sky was beautiful, I could see a few stars, although moonlight drowned out all but the brightest) I immediately say back down as I looked at the moon. I thought to myself, “The moon just shoved me down!” For about five minutes, I laughed quietly to myself at the absurdity of it, I simply lost my balance and somewhat gracefully resumed my sitting position, but it really did seem like the moon said “NO!” and shoved me back down. As I was giggling, I noticed the ladder hanging on the fence expanding and contracting, which brought me even greater amusement. By this point, the visuals were about as intense as my last shroom trip peak, which was fairly intense enough, and I became excited at the prospect of a more intense experience. Gingerly, I got back up, this time the moon didn’t object; however, I decided to mock being pushed around, giggling, until I lost my balance and said to myself “Okay Moon, chill, jeez.” I went to a lawn chair, already set up at the edge of my yard by the fence (which was still contracting and expanding alarmingly) and sat there, looking at the moon. It was possibly one of the most beautiful objects I ever beheld, instead of a halo, though, I saw pale, translucent crystal shards jutting out, giving the moon the appearance of a large, silver flower. As I looked around at the sky, I saw a tripping phenomenon of what I call “The Sky Ceiling,” which was a faint fractal patterning that looked kind of like a glass ceiling stretched across the sky. I also saw stars that were simply not there at all, and they were in so many different colors, constantly shifting and changing. As I sat there, chain smoking marb reds, I began to feel sick. I was aware that my heart was beginning to flutter very rapidly.
This is where the true peak of the trip began, estimated at probably two hours after ingestion. I decided I needed to go lie down, as a deep fear began to creep up on me. I was barely able to walk, it felt like I was very drunk, and I barely managed to keep my balance as I took my shoes of and went upstairs. To calm my nerves, I decided to play with a laser pointer again for a bit. I wasn’t as enthralled by the little beam this time, but I was getting gripped more and more by this fear, I realized that I’d taken a gratuitous amount of some extremely potent mushrooms. I sat there, sweating grenades (my room was hot in the first place) and listened to my heart beating rapidly, haunted by an incoherent jumble of sounds that went along with my fluttering heart. I decided that I was somehow getting a heart attack or something, surely my heartbeat should not be that rapid and irregular? I lay there, and slowly, Time itself began to rip apart. The very fabric of being was being torn to pieces, and I could see nothing but fractals, beautiful fractals. I began to get a kind of peaceful feeling, despite my rapid heartbeat, despite the intolerable heat. The panic began to melt away, everything began to melt.
I stopped being. I simply wasn’t. There was no I or me, or anything in the world at all but the jumble of sounds, which started to sound more like flute music. I saw a brief glimpse of the future, or perhaps a distant past, because everything had turned to a giant forest of nothing but ivy leaves and trees. I had been Un-Named, totally lost to existence. As I stated before, I simply wasn’t. It’s difficult to explain how I felt, because there was almost nothing. It almost felt like I’d passed into the eye of some great storm. Slowly but surely, however, I began to drift back into existence. The feeling of panic and total fear was gone, I realized who I was again. However, I continued to have strange bodily sensations, there were still intense visual distortions, but that didn’t bother me too much. I went back to my laptop, and watched the “Kung Fu Bear” video again, this time with sound. And it was certainly the strangest, most borderline disturbing thing I ever saw. The audio at the end sounded creepy, and the bear looked like it was melting. I watched a couple of other videos, which were also distorted but fun to watch for that reason.
After a while in which I lay back down and contemplated what the distant future might look like, I decided to go back out for a smoke. It was 0530 by this time, and the sun was rising. I was astonished when I walked outside, mainly because I was thrown off by how bright it was outside. The sky was a very beautiful green, and the clouds to the west were pink! I was surrounded by the chirping of a dozen robins and cardinals (I know local bird calls pretty well) and I sat there, admiring the beauty of it all. By this point, the trip was tapering off, and I thought, “I’m alive. The world is alive.” For me, it was like being reborn, even though I’d already drifted back into existence after having been Un-Named, the fact that a scene this beautiful could exist confirmed that I was indeed alive. I noticed the light to my parents’ bathroom turn on, which was my signal to go back inside, since I remembered that my dad needed to get into the attic via my closet; he was going to do this at 0700. I got back to my room just in time, I felt, because nobody stopped me. I didn’t want to face my parents just yet, I knew my pupils would still be dilated. I lay there, feigning sleep (of course, still unable to do so) waiting for him to come in. 0700 came and went without any intrusions to my room, in fact, it wasn’t until about 1000 that my dad came in with the ladder. I lay there, pretending to be asleep, and wasn’t bothered. By then, the trip had finally worn off, the visual distortions ceased, and I slipped to sleep, a profound experience behind me.
Conclusion: Thus far, this has easily, hands down been the absolute most intense experience with psychedelics in my life, more intense than any LSD trip, my previous mushroom trip, or even Salvia. I don’t know if I really ever learned a real lesson out of this, and I don’t really think I had any profound revelations from this experience that lasted, though at the time, every thought I had before the Un-Naming (ego death, I think it was) seemed profound, though I laughed at the absurdity of everything. Although it wasn’t anything that led to this great revelation about the nature of existence (correct me if I am wrong here) I feel that it has been the single most profound experience ever, though at the time leading up to the absolute peak, I was gripped by an intense fear.
Setting: My house, parents are asleep.
Mindset: Eager to have an interesting experience.
Within the first hour of ingesting the mushrooms, during which I was idly playing Pokémon Blue Version (an oldschool guilty pleasure of mine) I began to realize that this was going to be quite unlike my last (and first) foray into the world of mushrooms. I’d say within a half hour, I began to feel the effects. I noticed shifting objects, faint fractals starting to emerge into my closed-eye view, and that strange bodily sensation. For some fun, I decided to watch a video, posted on another forum, just for the lulz. I didn’t have sound the first time I watched it, but it amused me greatly and led to much giggling. I happened to have a laser pointer in my pocket, and most trippers should know that laser pointers are extremely fun to play with during a trip. I randomly waved it across the ceiling in my room, and I discovered that not only was there a long trail following the red pinprick of light, but that I was influencing my visuals with the laser. I decided to write random stuff with it on my ceiling. It was like my ceiling was a canvas, and I was painting temporary pictures with my laser pointer. I eventually got bored with it, and just watched the fractal light show for a little while.
By this point, I decided I wanted to go outside for a smoke. Since I’ve passed my pre-employment drug screen (the whole reason I even ate the mushrooms in the first place) I knew it would be safe to smoke the tiny bit of bud I had left: a half-bowl’s worth of rezzy Purple Kush. I know for a fact that it was about an hour after I ate the mushrooms that I finally took the toke, and as a result, the visuals intensified. I was sitting on a set of old, wooden steps in the backyard, in my own little world, and I had full confidence nobody could see or hear me.
As I stood up (the sky was beautiful, I could see a few stars, although moonlight drowned out all but the brightest) I immediately say back down as I looked at the moon. I thought to myself, “The moon just shoved me down!” For about five minutes, I laughed quietly to myself at the absurdity of it, I simply lost my balance and somewhat gracefully resumed my sitting position, but it really did seem like the moon said “NO!” and shoved me back down. As I was giggling, I noticed the ladder hanging on the fence expanding and contracting, which brought me even greater amusement. By this point, the visuals were about as intense as my last shroom trip peak, which was fairly intense enough, and I became excited at the prospect of a more intense experience. Gingerly, I got back up, this time the moon didn’t object; however, I decided to mock being pushed around, giggling, until I lost my balance and said to myself “Okay Moon, chill, jeez.” I went to a lawn chair, already set up at the edge of my yard by the fence (which was still contracting and expanding alarmingly) and sat there, looking at the moon. It was possibly one of the most beautiful objects I ever beheld, instead of a halo, though, I saw pale, translucent crystal shards jutting out, giving the moon the appearance of a large, silver flower. As I looked around at the sky, I saw a tripping phenomenon of what I call “The Sky Ceiling,” which was a faint fractal patterning that looked kind of like a glass ceiling stretched across the sky. I also saw stars that were simply not there at all, and they were in so many different colors, constantly shifting and changing. As I sat there, chain smoking marb reds, I began to feel sick. I was aware that my heart was beginning to flutter very rapidly.
This is where the true peak of the trip began, estimated at probably two hours after ingestion. I decided I needed to go lie down, as a deep fear began to creep up on me. I was barely able to walk, it felt like I was very drunk, and I barely managed to keep my balance as I took my shoes of and went upstairs. To calm my nerves, I decided to play with a laser pointer again for a bit. I wasn’t as enthralled by the little beam this time, but I was getting gripped more and more by this fear, I realized that I’d taken a gratuitous amount of some extremely potent mushrooms. I sat there, sweating grenades (my room was hot in the first place) and listened to my heart beating rapidly, haunted by an incoherent jumble of sounds that went along with my fluttering heart. I decided that I was somehow getting a heart attack or something, surely my heartbeat should not be that rapid and irregular? I lay there, and slowly, Time itself began to rip apart. The very fabric of being was being torn to pieces, and I could see nothing but fractals, beautiful fractals. I began to get a kind of peaceful feeling, despite my rapid heartbeat, despite the intolerable heat. The panic began to melt away, everything began to melt.
I stopped being. I simply wasn’t. There was no I or me, or anything in the world at all but the jumble of sounds, which started to sound more like flute music. I saw a brief glimpse of the future, or perhaps a distant past, because everything had turned to a giant forest of nothing but ivy leaves and trees. I had been Un-Named, totally lost to existence. As I stated before, I simply wasn’t. It’s difficult to explain how I felt, because there was almost nothing. It almost felt like I’d passed into the eye of some great storm. Slowly but surely, however, I began to drift back into existence. The feeling of panic and total fear was gone, I realized who I was again. However, I continued to have strange bodily sensations, there were still intense visual distortions, but that didn’t bother me too much. I went back to my laptop, and watched the “Kung Fu Bear” video again, this time with sound. And it was certainly the strangest, most borderline disturbing thing I ever saw. The audio at the end sounded creepy, and the bear looked like it was melting. I watched a couple of other videos, which were also distorted but fun to watch for that reason.
After a while in which I lay back down and contemplated what the distant future might look like, I decided to go back out for a smoke. It was 0530 by this time, and the sun was rising. I was astonished when I walked outside, mainly because I was thrown off by how bright it was outside. The sky was a very beautiful green, and the clouds to the west were pink! I was surrounded by the chirping of a dozen robins and cardinals (I know local bird calls pretty well) and I sat there, admiring the beauty of it all. By this point, the trip was tapering off, and I thought, “I’m alive. The world is alive.” For me, it was like being reborn, even though I’d already drifted back into existence after having been Un-Named, the fact that a scene this beautiful could exist confirmed that I was indeed alive. I noticed the light to my parents’ bathroom turn on, which was my signal to go back inside, since I remembered that my dad needed to get into the attic via my closet; he was going to do this at 0700. I got back to my room just in time, I felt, because nobody stopped me. I didn’t want to face my parents just yet, I knew my pupils would still be dilated. I lay there, feigning sleep (of course, still unable to do so) waiting for him to come in. 0700 came and went without any intrusions to my room, in fact, it wasn’t until about 1000 that my dad came in with the ladder. I lay there, pretending to be asleep, and wasn’t bothered. By then, the trip had finally worn off, the visual distortions ceased, and I slipped to sleep, a profound experience behind me.
Conclusion: Thus far, this has easily, hands down been the absolute most intense experience with psychedelics in my life, more intense than any LSD trip, my previous mushroom trip, or even Salvia. I don’t know if I really ever learned a real lesson out of this, and I don’t really think I had any profound revelations from this experience that lasted, though at the time, every thought I had before the Un-Naming (ego death, I think it was) seemed profound, though I laughed at the absurdity of everything. Although it wasn’t anything that led to this great revelation about the nature of existence (correct me if I am wrong here) I feel that it has been the single most profound experience ever, though at the time leading up to the absolute peak, I was gripped by an intense fear.
