psychonaut65
Bluelighter
mushrooms+MDxx+cannabis = RAW insanity
RAW insanity
I am what I would like to think an experienced tripper and would like to be known as a psychonaut; only I found somewhere with mushrooms and ecstasy that was confusing and frightening. I have hippy flipped a fair few times now and this trip was no exception my dose taking me to a state of mind so very, very different. No trip can be the same and I have found mushrooms to be extremely varied in their response to setting and social situations so my thoughts to this trip is another progression in my understanding of how mushrooms alter your mind so profoundly; I say that on the one hand but I really didn’t have a fucking clue of what was going on. This then later reflected in my following trips.
Dose:
3g dried Phillipine cubensis
30g fresh Mexican cubensis
8g fresh Hawaiian copelandia nicknamed blue meanies apparently very strong shrooms.
Roughly 0.15g mdma the potency of this was not great when tried on previous occasions
1.5 four leaf clovers (pills which were quite a nice roll)
4 bulbs of nitrous oxide (very unlike me especially when I had around 20)
Cannabis
The experience:
Everyone arrived to our location at around seven thirty in the evening. People came either side of this time frame although I couldn’t keep track of which people were there at any point during our experience. We began to set up; this was the last stance before shrooms were illegal in the UK, as the day I’m writing this paragraph is Black Monday. Firewood began to pile up around our camp ready for the night to descend.
There were a lot of us up the hill that night; my chosen setting was the woods which is a truly mystical setting to partake in an psychedelic experience. The fire began blazing and light was beginning to fade. I commenced my brewing, fifteen minutes later my brew was prepared, I strained the shrooms and poured hot chocolate into the mug. Listening to the latest Shpongle album “nothing lasts… But nothing is lost” I began drinking. Holding the liquid down did not seem too much of a problem and roughly ten minutes later I finished drinking the concoction.
The next ten-twenty minutes passed by surprisingly calmly. My friend S then let me puff on his smoking contraption and the taste of hash filled my lungs. Things livened up from here on and recollection is frighteningly fragmented. In my high-dose mushroom come ups I find this very intense cerebral pressure takes hold and it is not very nice at all. My last large dose mushroom trip had a very similar effect only I managed to withstand the pain and carry on tripping happily this was maybe due to the excessive amount of nitrous oxide in that trip but none the less it seemed a lot more positive.
Don’t get me wrong this trip was profound and enlightening but it was also deeply delusional and fucking dark. After noting the pressure to my head to my friend, I began to feel weird sensations: as if pulses of energy were traveling through my limbs. My mind was now paranoid a bad trip was setting in so I got up and grabbed my fire poi. I began spinning; the tracers were now very apparent. I love playing a showman type when tripping so I wear a jester hat: which I love, I find the archetypal entity of a jester type so very appealing. I find I tend to look at myself from an extremely odd angle when I am under the influence of psychedelics. I picked up fire poi a fair few months ago now and got much better since my visit to Glastonbury. Theres this one move I do which brings a line of flames in front of you; as I performed this I saw the most extraordinary things appeared from the flame it was awesome: sparks, colored bubbles and the like. Every one gazed with bewilderment as I span fire in an unstable state of mind, it wasn’t terribly sensible but I had a wicked time doing it. I found my coordination was superb and my strength was infinite, I didn’t have any of the physical symptoms of exercise.
It was roughly an hour into the trip at this point and I decided it would be a good time to bring on the roll so I scoffed down the MDMA I had left over from Glastonbury. Someone offered me a joint and I gladly accepted. I had an awful lot of friends turn up that night and many of them I should of spent a lot more time talking to, but I was simply so completely off my trolley that the fact they were even there didn’t come natural to me and this is how I think my brain created the delusion of a hostile environment. I began to suspect people plotting against me; this was completely irrational. I somehow managed to keep my foot on my sanity for the most part of the trip; however, there were some deeply worrying moments and I will discuss those later to keep in the time frame.
I attempted nitrous oxide and threw up into the balloon in which case I thought no more! Even though the nitrous trip was one of the strongest most encompassing experiences of my life I thought it was just too scary to comprehend doing it again as everyone noted the rate of my breathing; my friend J then said “dude, I can smell that”, I had been sick into the balloon. During this trip I noted a huge convalescing wheel of red, and pink color in an almost checkered like fashion. After which I was shrouded with green and purple stars and I shouted “whatever the fuck I’m doing right now its sooooo good!” This is where I learnt who my true friends were, as people were eagerly grabbing my nitrous and doing it for themselves, I gave everyone who wanted one a bulb but the fiends viciously attacked my NOS supply they asked if it was ok but I was simply so fucked I didn’t want to say no, you really don’t have a clue who people are in that kind of state of mind especially if your not all too well acquainted with them; however, I do understand the crack-like properties this particular drug produces and I have had some very disconcerting moments in previous trips where all I can think of is loading the next bulb in fact I don’t even think about it just happens.
I sat and watched the campfire weave, turn and melt in front of me, before I got up again. This was another thing I kept getting up and organizing my stuff for no bloody reason, this was wasting the trip and I don’t know why I was so fussed with it all. I marched around before feeling my body’s structure morph; I felt as if strata or planes of some sort were shifting through my body I vividly encountered orange lines carving cross sections through my body. I was now acting well and truly weird. I lay on the floor and squirmed around; the stars were spinning, floating and dashing around the sky as I had a full out of body experience. It was at this point I thought that the nitrous was not even necessary I was already completely gone with encompassing visions shrouding my perception. People kept coming and asking me if I was alright and my mind began to think they were going to do something very horrible every time my friend H said “are you alright” I thought he was trying to trick me into thinking I wasn’t I also had the fear that they were there to invoke a nasty response and that’s when my mate D came along. He then started trying to make sense of my predicament, I kept asking what those people were up to and that I wasn’t ready for any shit. I am so, so grateful to my friend D who helped me in that dark moment. After trying to get me to listen to music my friend thought it best if we talked, I then thought he was plotting something against me so I said to him “I wanna know whats going on and I wanna know now!” I said this increasing my voice louder each time until he said to me “im D your friend!” I then fell to the floor with my hands to my face and apologized I had never been so unsure of what was going in a social situation as what was happening in this trip. This is the point where I should of said no to drugs for a good long while, this complete irrational outburst was evil, pure evil, never have I encountered such a phenomenon as to think one of my friends was an enemy. The other people around were to say the least disconcerted; yet my friend D sat and talked and tried to get me to listen to some music, on asking where my music was I just sat there and said “I really don’t know” a lot of the time was spent trying to organize my stuff: yet when I needed to find something I just couldn’t. I think he suggested I do some poi so I did; I span the poi as hard and as fast as I could, I stopped leant forward, puked and carried on.
I sat by the fire letting the smoke flow full on into my face, as tears streamed down my face I wondered why; then someone stated it was because of all the smoke and I finally came to my senses to realize that the smoke was streaming onto me. My friend E then came and sat next to me; if I can call him a friend as he was not on psychedelics and his impression of me was probably to say the least not great; he asked “how are you?” As I could see a calm in his manner I stated “I’m quite scared actually” noting to him that I was not in control, he then asked what the bulbs were and I stated Nitrous Oxide, he then asked if he threw one on the fire it would make a bang would it not and I got very worried, “keep things like that away from me because I have a tendency to make things blow up” this thought of his caused me the deepest concern as I thought he was tripping when he wasn’t. When my friends asked me to come sit next to them to avoid the smoke I just sat there, this was completely illogical. Somewhere along the trip I swear I heard “did you try to come on to him” this may have been a complete illusion in response the copius amounts of psyches I took but I honestly felt that half the people there were in some way going to harm me and a few twisted individuals wanted to interfere with me sexually. In a previous trip I had someone press their foot against my leg in a suggestive manner, which provoked some very disconcerted reactions: as I don’t like the idea of someone coming on to me in a trip at all. The thing with psychedelics is the timeless nature in which you are part of, all your experiences seem to link into one and with a sober mind I can see how someone pressing their foot against my leg in one trip which was again quite a heavy hippyflip could somehow relate into this immediate experience; however, I didn’t note this in the report of “the cavern of glistening fairy lights.”
Here’s where my mind fell apart, my most favored tripping companion A was sitting next to me, an illusion occurred in which I thought people were coming on to me during the trip I think I had necessary reason to think this as some of the people there were a construct of my own mind and I said “I don’t like this people are coming on to me, and people are trying to start a fight” everyone looked at me in bewilderment, my friend A then took me off to talk about it and I said to him if I was going to be gay even though I’m not it would be with you ok, whether I’m gay or not does not bother me but the fact is I know I’m not gay full stop the reason I said this to this particular friend is that I felt that he was safe and would not interfere with me in some way as there were a lot of people there I barely new; as I tried to get as many people as possible to eat the flesh of Teonanacatl up the hill that night. I think this was because of the people consistently asking me if I was alright when I was squirming on the floor delving into psychedelic space and I will later explain my thoughts on those people in the following trip as they kept asking I said “I’m fine, I’M FINE” this point is where my coherent brain lost the plot of practically everything. My friend A and I have had the most profound enlightening trips together but never any sexual connotations between us have ever occurred and never will for that matter. I began to worry that my friends W and F were getting beaten up as they had decided to walk off by themselves and listen to some music. As we walked and talked I felt really good, it was something I should have done a lot more of that night, we walked along the gravel path; after investigating some people sitting on a bench and talking; I suddenly got the idea of Nitrous Oxide into my head; it was funny that my friend A stated “after all, you are a man of the earth” before I got the idea of nitrous, after which I ran to get the bulberator making a mad sound as I ran through the open plain of grass. I gassed up a balloon and went to the top of the slope we were on; I then started one of my manic NOS stomps, a few friends who know that I can make quite a scene out of this came up and watched me plunder around gasping nitrous oxide, as I gasped for breath small white fairy lights jumped around my field of vision until I finally fell flat in the middle of one of the stone mazes, my eyes must have been going berserk as my friends watched over me, I was in bliss; perfect bliss. One of my friends asked if I was alright as I had fallen onto the flint that made up the stone maze in the ground “am I alright, AM I ALRIGHT!” was my reaction I was loving every minute: I had left my physical body at this point. I returned to the campfire to sit and make a party spliff with a giant rainbow colored skin. I smoked and sat and talked with some very good friends of mine O and T. O stated: if only politicians could sit and talk like this we wouldn’t have any problems and I agreed wholeheartedly. I sat and let the effects of the spliff sedate my mind until I was comfortably numb. I then passed round the party spliff I made. I was sitting with some very good friends; my friends A and K were on my left and my friend D was sitting drinking vodka on the right, by this point he had finished about a liter and was talking some very strange stuff, I have to say I really did enjoy listening to him jabbering away on the comedown of shrooms while intoxicated with a copius amount of alcohol which is something I never touch in a psychedelic experience but everyone has their own way of doing things; and it was at this point that I recollected hearing about shamens in mexico that often like to drink in a psychedelic experience. My friend T then said to D “the thing I love about you D is that your eyes never quite align, I agreed with this as his eyes certainly drift in the strangest directions. It was the early hours of the morning and I noted a distinct separation in groups, I think I said something here that probably upset the other group as I felt threatened by what I thought was a counter/ enemy group. For those who were there and are reading this I sincerely apologise. My friend B the blew up one of the smiley balloons I had brought for the nitrous oxide and let it go; it looked wicked as it span in air, twirling round as it made a short attempt at entering the atmosphere.
Conclusion:
I was left to say the least gob-smacked by this experience, what I once thought psychedelics do was open your true nature and self, when In this instance I feel I became so horribly engrossed with the mushroom it turned me into something other than I was, and this is something that scared me. Normally I can engage in meaningful conversation as I feel the mushroom adds an extra edge to you dialectical ability allowing you to talk in a cosmic sense, when inane babble with the occasional coherent stream of thought becomes my persona I frankly don’t want to reach this state with drugs. In my later acid trips the re-occurring effect of this experience was to say the least not pleasant and my life has now become fraught as to who my friends are and whether anyone wants to be friends, in the last couple of weeks an instance of paranoia has occurred to an extreme, one I NEVER aim to go back to and for this reason I have chosen to cut down my drug intake dramatically. I should of expected this result with such a large intake of psychedelics; however, it is only in my nature to try and break my previous limits but in this instance it has not helped or benefited my life at all which is what I feel these drugs should be able to do.
Anyways don’t make the same mistake I made, give respect to these sacraments and don’t abuse them otherwise SUFFER some consequences.
RAW insanity
I am what I would like to think an experienced tripper and would like to be known as a psychonaut; only I found somewhere with mushrooms and ecstasy that was confusing and frightening. I have hippy flipped a fair few times now and this trip was no exception my dose taking me to a state of mind so very, very different. No trip can be the same and I have found mushrooms to be extremely varied in their response to setting and social situations so my thoughts to this trip is another progression in my understanding of how mushrooms alter your mind so profoundly; I say that on the one hand but I really didn’t have a fucking clue of what was going on. This then later reflected in my following trips.
Dose:
3g dried Phillipine cubensis
30g fresh Mexican cubensis
8g fresh Hawaiian copelandia nicknamed blue meanies apparently very strong shrooms.
Roughly 0.15g mdma the potency of this was not great when tried on previous occasions
1.5 four leaf clovers (pills which were quite a nice roll)
4 bulbs of nitrous oxide (very unlike me especially when I had around 20)
Cannabis
The experience:
Everyone arrived to our location at around seven thirty in the evening. People came either side of this time frame although I couldn’t keep track of which people were there at any point during our experience. We began to set up; this was the last stance before shrooms were illegal in the UK, as the day I’m writing this paragraph is Black Monday. Firewood began to pile up around our camp ready for the night to descend.
There were a lot of us up the hill that night; my chosen setting was the woods which is a truly mystical setting to partake in an psychedelic experience. The fire began blazing and light was beginning to fade. I commenced my brewing, fifteen minutes later my brew was prepared, I strained the shrooms and poured hot chocolate into the mug. Listening to the latest Shpongle album “nothing lasts… But nothing is lost” I began drinking. Holding the liquid down did not seem too much of a problem and roughly ten minutes later I finished drinking the concoction.
The next ten-twenty minutes passed by surprisingly calmly. My friend S then let me puff on his smoking contraption and the taste of hash filled my lungs. Things livened up from here on and recollection is frighteningly fragmented. In my high-dose mushroom come ups I find this very intense cerebral pressure takes hold and it is not very nice at all. My last large dose mushroom trip had a very similar effect only I managed to withstand the pain and carry on tripping happily this was maybe due to the excessive amount of nitrous oxide in that trip but none the less it seemed a lot more positive.
Don’t get me wrong this trip was profound and enlightening but it was also deeply delusional and fucking dark. After noting the pressure to my head to my friend, I began to feel weird sensations: as if pulses of energy were traveling through my limbs. My mind was now paranoid a bad trip was setting in so I got up and grabbed my fire poi. I began spinning; the tracers were now very apparent. I love playing a showman type when tripping so I wear a jester hat: which I love, I find the archetypal entity of a jester type so very appealing. I find I tend to look at myself from an extremely odd angle when I am under the influence of psychedelics. I picked up fire poi a fair few months ago now and got much better since my visit to Glastonbury. Theres this one move I do which brings a line of flames in front of you; as I performed this I saw the most extraordinary things appeared from the flame it was awesome: sparks, colored bubbles and the like. Every one gazed with bewilderment as I span fire in an unstable state of mind, it wasn’t terribly sensible but I had a wicked time doing it. I found my coordination was superb and my strength was infinite, I didn’t have any of the physical symptoms of exercise.
It was roughly an hour into the trip at this point and I decided it would be a good time to bring on the roll so I scoffed down the MDMA I had left over from Glastonbury. Someone offered me a joint and I gladly accepted. I had an awful lot of friends turn up that night and many of them I should of spent a lot more time talking to, but I was simply so completely off my trolley that the fact they were even there didn’t come natural to me and this is how I think my brain created the delusion of a hostile environment. I began to suspect people plotting against me; this was completely irrational. I somehow managed to keep my foot on my sanity for the most part of the trip; however, there were some deeply worrying moments and I will discuss those later to keep in the time frame.
I attempted nitrous oxide and threw up into the balloon in which case I thought no more! Even though the nitrous trip was one of the strongest most encompassing experiences of my life I thought it was just too scary to comprehend doing it again as everyone noted the rate of my breathing; my friend J then said “dude, I can smell that”, I had been sick into the balloon. During this trip I noted a huge convalescing wheel of red, and pink color in an almost checkered like fashion. After which I was shrouded with green and purple stars and I shouted “whatever the fuck I’m doing right now its sooooo good!” This is where I learnt who my true friends were, as people were eagerly grabbing my nitrous and doing it for themselves, I gave everyone who wanted one a bulb but the fiends viciously attacked my NOS supply they asked if it was ok but I was simply so fucked I didn’t want to say no, you really don’t have a clue who people are in that kind of state of mind especially if your not all too well acquainted with them; however, I do understand the crack-like properties this particular drug produces and I have had some very disconcerting moments in previous trips where all I can think of is loading the next bulb in fact I don’t even think about it just happens.
I sat and watched the campfire weave, turn and melt in front of me, before I got up again. This was another thing I kept getting up and organizing my stuff for no bloody reason, this was wasting the trip and I don’t know why I was so fussed with it all. I marched around before feeling my body’s structure morph; I felt as if strata or planes of some sort were shifting through my body I vividly encountered orange lines carving cross sections through my body. I was now acting well and truly weird. I lay on the floor and squirmed around; the stars were spinning, floating and dashing around the sky as I had a full out of body experience. It was at this point I thought that the nitrous was not even necessary I was already completely gone with encompassing visions shrouding my perception. People kept coming and asking me if I was alright and my mind began to think they were going to do something very horrible every time my friend H said “are you alright” I thought he was trying to trick me into thinking I wasn’t I also had the fear that they were there to invoke a nasty response and that’s when my mate D came along. He then started trying to make sense of my predicament, I kept asking what those people were up to and that I wasn’t ready for any shit. I am so, so grateful to my friend D who helped me in that dark moment. After trying to get me to listen to music my friend thought it best if we talked, I then thought he was plotting something against me so I said to him “I wanna know whats going on and I wanna know now!” I said this increasing my voice louder each time until he said to me “im D your friend!” I then fell to the floor with my hands to my face and apologized I had never been so unsure of what was going in a social situation as what was happening in this trip. This is the point where I should of said no to drugs for a good long while, this complete irrational outburst was evil, pure evil, never have I encountered such a phenomenon as to think one of my friends was an enemy. The other people around were to say the least disconcerted; yet my friend D sat and talked and tried to get me to listen to some music, on asking where my music was I just sat there and said “I really don’t know” a lot of the time was spent trying to organize my stuff: yet when I needed to find something I just couldn’t. I think he suggested I do some poi so I did; I span the poi as hard and as fast as I could, I stopped leant forward, puked and carried on.
I sat by the fire letting the smoke flow full on into my face, as tears streamed down my face I wondered why; then someone stated it was because of all the smoke and I finally came to my senses to realize that the smoke was streaming onto me. My friend E then came and sat next to me; if I can call him a friend as he was not on psychedelics and his impression of me was probably to say the least not great; he asked “how are you?” As I could see a calm in his manner I stated “I’m quite scared actually” noting to him that I was not in control, he then asked what the bulbs were and I stated Nitrous Oxide, he then asked if he threw one on the fire it would make a bang would it not and I got very worried, “keep things like that away from me because I have a tendency to make things blow up” this thought of his caused me the deepest concern as I thought he was tripping when he wasn’t. When my friends asked me to come sit next to them to avoid the smoke I just sat there, this was completely illogical. Somewhere along the trip I swear I heard “did you try to come on to him” this may have been a complete illusion in response the copius amounts of psyches I took but I honestly felt that half the people there were in some way going to harm me and a few twisted individuals wanted to interfere with me sexually. In a previous trip I had someone press their foot against my leg in a suggestive manner, which provoked some very disconcerted reactions: as I don’t like the idea of someone coming on to me in a trip at all. The thing with psychedelics is the timeless nature in which you are part of, all your experiences seem to link into one and with a sober mind I can see how someone pressing their foot against my leg in one trip which was again quite a heavy hippyflip could somehow relate into this immediate experience; however, I didn’t note this in the report of “the cavern of glistening fairy lights.”
Here’s where my mind fell apart, my most favored tripping companion A was sitting next to me, an illusion occurred in which I thought people were coming on to me during the trip I think I had necessary reason to think this as some of the people there were a construct of my own mind and I said “I don’t like this people are coming on to me, and people are trying to start a fight” everyone looked at me in bewilderment, my friend A then took me off to talk about it and I said to him if I was going to be gay even though I’m not it would be with you ok, whether I’m gay or not does not bother me but the fact is I know I’m not gay full stop the reason I said this to this particular friend is that I felt that he was safe and would not interfere with me in some way as there were a lot of people there I barely new; as I tried to get as many people as possible to eat the flesh of Teonanacatl up the hill that night. I think this was because of the people consistently asking me if I was alright when I was squirming on the floor delving into psychedelic space and I will later explain my thoughts on those people in the following trip as they kept asking I said “I’m fine, I’M FINE” this point is where my coherent brain lost the plot of practically everything. My friend A and I have had the most profound enlightening trips together but never any sexual connotations between us have ever occurred and never will for that matter. I began to worry that my friends W and F were getting beaten up as they had decided to walk off by themselves and listen to some music. As we walked and talked I felt really good, it was something I should have done a lot more of that night, we walked along the gravel path; after investigating some people sitting on a bench and talking; I suddenly got the idea of Nitrous Oxide into my head; it was funny that my friend A stated “after all, you are a man of the earth” before I got the idea of nitrous, after which I ran to get the bulberator making a mad sound as I ran through the open plain of grass. I gassed up a balloon and went to the top of the slope we were on; I then started one of my manic NOS stomps, a few friends who know that I can make quite a scene out of this came up and watched me plunder around gasping nitrous oxide, as I gasped for breath small white fairy lights jumped around my field of vision until I finally fell flat in the middle of one of the stone mazes, my eyes must have been going berserk as my friends watched over me, I was in bliss; perfect bliss. One of my friends asked if I was alright as I had fallen onto the flint that made up the stone maze in the ground “am I alright, AM I ALRIGHT!” was my reaction I was loving every minute: I had left my physical body at this point. I returned to the campfire to sit and make a party spliff with a giant rainbow colored skin. I smoked and sat and talked with some very good friends of mine O and T. O stated: if only politicians could sit and talk like this we wouldn’t have any problems and I agreed wholeheartedly. I sat and let the effects of the spliff sedate my mind until I was comfortably numb. I then passed round the party spliff I made. I was sitting with some very good friends; my friends A and K were on my left and my friend D was sitting drinking vodka on the right, by this point he had finished about a liter and was talking some very strange stuff, I have to say I really did enjoy listening to him jabbering away on the comedown of shrooms while intoxicated with a copius amount of alcohol which is something I never touch in a psychedelic experience but everyone has their own way of doing things; and it was at this point that I recollected hearing about shamens in mexico that often like to drink in a psychedelic experience. My friend T then said to D “the thing I love about you D is that your eyes never quite align, I agreed with this as his eyes certainly drift in the strangest directions. It was the early hours of the morning and I noted a distinct separation in groups, I think I said something here that probably upset the other group as I felt threatened by what I thought was a counter/ enemy group. For those who were there and are reading this I sincerely apologise. My friend B the blew up one of the smiley balloons I had brought for the nitrous oxide and let it go; it looked wicked as it span in air, twirling round as it made a short attempt at entering the atmosphere.
Conclusion:
I was left to say the least gob-smacked by this experience, what I once thought psychedelics do was open your true nature and self, when In this instance I feel I became so horribly engrossed with the mushroom it turned me into something other than I was, and this is something that scared me. Normally I can engage in meaningful conversation as I feel the mushroom adds an extra edge to you dialectical ability allowing you to talk in a cosmic sense, when inane babble with the occasional coherent stream of thought becomes my persona I frankly don’t want to reach this state with drugs. In my later acid trips the re-occurring effect of this experience was to say the least not pleasant and my life has now become fraught as to who my friends are and whether anyone wants to be friends, in the last couple of weeks an instance of paranoia has occurred to an extreme, one I NEVER aim to go back to and for this reason I have chosen to cut down my drug intake dramatically. I should of expected this result with such a large intake of psychedelics; however, it is only in my nature to try and break my previous limits but in this instance it has not helped or benefited my life at all which is what I feel these drugs should be able to do.
Anyways don’t make the same mistake I made, give respect to these sacraments and don’t abuse them otherwise SUFFER some consequences.
