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Mushrooms (cubes) - semi experienced - 8 grams in silent darkness. (Part 1)

webbykevin

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Mushrooms (cubes) - semi experienced - 8 grams in silent darkness. (Parts 1 and 2)

Set and Setting.

It's a quiet Sunday night, in a quiet street on the edge of a rural/coastal small town.
It's summer time, tropical location, it's not too hot and I have the house to myself for a couple of days. The phone is unplugged the cats are well fed and outside, No one is going to bother me.

I had not planned a dose but was going to see what instinctively felt right at the time, my largest dose so far had been 5.5 grams and I had also done that alone with no problems, I admit that on that occasion i had some light all the time either a lava lamp or a single candle.
I had got so much out of that journey that I felt compelled to try and look deeper into whatever it is that drives the energy that the mushroom unleashes, I had been on quite a hilarious roller coaster ride of a conversation with it before and I was keen to let the dialog wander in stranger or wilder directions, I felt I had gotten close to some kind of edge but not close enough to peer over it into the abyss or something like that anyway.

I still haven't worked out what the mushroom is, but i feel that the main essence of itself that it is showing to me is its wise old loving teacher archetype. It does have a kind of twinkle in its eye so to speak but so far that twinkle has not threatened to morph into an evil grin.

I was also planning to try the infamous "lemon tek" method this time, I have read enough reports now from people raving about it as a great way to do it that was keen to have a go myself, I don't get really any nausea with shrooms and I usually just chem em up dry with a few sips from a glass of water to help get them down, i don't mind the taste, it's a kind of earthy nothing taste really, I don't know why some people have a problem with that.

The experience......

I looked at the pile of dried shrooms and a couple of them were a bit past there prime when they were picked so I was kinda allowing for them to bit a bit less potent so thought i should add a gram or 2 to compensate for that, there is nothing worse in my opinion that not doing enough of a compound to get the full effective dose, I dont use psychedelics for socializing or in a party situation, it's for me is part of an intensely personal and private investigation into the nature of my own consciousness and the insights and wisdom that can be gained from the use of traditional shamanic plants.

So I decide on 8 grams, put this into a coffee grinder and whizz it up till it's a powder, then tip this into the juice of one large lemon in a glass, stir it up with a teaspoon until its all mixed in and leave it for 5 minutes, the I top up the rest of the glass with orange juice and skull the lot in one gulp.

I spend the next half hour doing a final lockdown of the house and set up a candle in the bedroom, grab my guitar and wait for it to start. I rolled a couple of joints just in case I lost the ability to do that later and then started to quietly play the guitar, within minutes I noticed the first noticeable effects of the experience, time started to slow down or stretch out, I found that the music i was playing sounded way too slow but when I tried to speed up the tempo and play faster my fingers felt disconnected and rubbery and they actually started to disobey my brain and started playing even slower, this all happened over about 2 or 3 minutes and I could now very quickly feel a kind of huge potential building (strangely it felt like it was building up outside of the house and had not yet mad it into the room, but you could feel a kind of pressure wave intensifying very quickly.

I decided there was no way I was going to be able to meet this sitting up so I put down the guitar, blew out the caandle and lay down, there was a moment where it seemed like a red and black patterned silk sheet or scarf swirled around me in space and blocked out all vision as it passed, then as it wafted away and dissolved I was in hyperspace, I have never had such a smooth transition from a level + experience to a ++++ completely non physical disembodied ego death state of consciousness, there was no rush, no panic, no bursting through a dome or tunneling through exploding fractal grids, nothing but the gentle perception of a swirling silk scarf and then dissolving between the 2 states of consciousness with no shock to the mind.

I remember thinking it was a beautiful example of boundary dissolving, it was more like the dimension had arrived while i wasnt noticing cos i was putting down the guitar and then i suddenly saw it and went oh look it's already here rather than ooooh shit here it comes BANG smash wallop the wave hits, I have had that before and was a bit nervous about how hard the first wave may have hit me on the larger dose but it was actually a beautifully peaceful and gentle way to shift your perception so radically and completely.

So because I am so unusually calm in this situation I can focus more on doing the scientific analysis of what's occuring, I run through a mental check list, Feeling of a physical body ? Not really, there is no way to bring my attention to detecting physical sensations such as can i feel my feet or is my body heavy under gravity, that all seems so unimportant that I cant really say what was going on physically because mentally my brain didn't want to investigate the question, very strange.

The same thing happened with trying to focus on heartbeat and breathing, it may have been happening it may not, I dont know because i couldn't make it important enough to find out, this all happened in the space of a few seconds, maybe 10 seconds max but I give up on the checklist and just pay attention intently to the hallucinations happening in the darkness behind my eyelids.

sliding overlapping geometric grids and shapes, like transparent layers in photo-shop you can see depth and space in the scene and behind that there is the feeling that all space is getting sucked downwards into this funnel but i am far above that and it is already starting to shring snd move off to the upper right of the scene before it dissolves as an idea and the geometric patterns fill the full panorana of perception again.

I notice that there is not a lot of colour in the patterns they are really just different shades of charcoal grey on a black background, none of the iridescent blues and greens and purples of lsd or mdma, then the thought comes to me... CANNABIS, you haven't smoked any cannabis, she brings the colours.

I feel warm, very warm and secure, like the whole universe has wrapped around me and is giving me a hug, the visuals have stopped, its dark, its very quiet, then I hear a tone, like a high resonating note that is left in the air after a steel chime has been hit, but I haven't heard the hit I can just hear the harmonic aftertones, but they don't fade away they start getting louder, the expansion on the harmonics tightening and it is become a clearer single high pitched note now, its in both ears, "ears, I have ears", the moment I had that though all hell brook loose.

Both ears instantaneously go CRICK !, like when you crack the knuckles in your fingers or you stand up and a knee clicks, that kind of sensation, but deep down in the ears like a muscle has just snapped or a bone had cracked inside my ear canal, CRICK CRICK ! then the most enormous psilocibin yawn I have ever had, I never knew i could open my mouth so wide lol, It was the yawn of all yawns, seemed to last for ages, ten time longer than a good normal yawn, the shudder from it shot down my neck and spine and my whole body stretched itself out like a cat waking up, I got longer, wider my bones felt like they were being pulled apart on a rack, another huge shudder and I curled up into a ball and tried to re focus, the energy being released in the room was astounding, talk about the elephant in the room lol, in the pitch darkness around me i could just sense the presence of something so huge, so immense, so magnificent that I felt like an atom or a single celled lifeforce floating in space in the presence of an exploding supernova.

This is not what I expected, nothing could prepare you for this, i don't care how many Terence McKenna talks you have listened to, or how many times you have read the doors of perception or jung or the bible or anything, this is something else and there is nowhere to run, I do remember at this point some of uncle terences advice about what to do when an experience starts to go left or overwhelm you, yeh right, that's not going to work in this situation, the very thought of sitting up and singing to whatever has just descended upon my reality seems totally preposterous, "would you like me to sing you a little song?" that is just not on the menu of options I have right now.

One of the things that has worried me about psilocibin is the reports of the audible voice, in English, speaking to you as clearly as if another person was there with you, I don't want this, I do want to have a dialog with this thing because that is one of the most fascinating things about the mushroom journey, it does feel like you are in the presence of another autonomous being or intellect of some kind, and just throwing out all preconceived ideas about reality and going with the immediate experience that you are having means that I do enter into a kind of dialog with it, It is so hard to explain how this works but it's like an exchange of thoughts, I construct the thought in my head of what I want to say and then just trust that is was heard without the need for me to actually speak it out loud, and what happens is a thought follows that moment that seems to be a clear answer from somewhere to the thing you just projected out, the metaphysical/spiritual questions that arise when discussing this just do not come up at the time, I don't have to have an explanation of what is actually happening for it to happen, it does not require my belief or understanding or approval, it just IS what is happening and that will have to do, no thinking required at this point.

Let's have the conversation and see where it leads and what answers i get before I make any judgements about whether it is an alien, an angel, a subconscious part of my own hidden self or an intergalactic fungi that spans the universe, who cares, those are all crazy shit things and they dont need to get in the way of the content of the experience itself.

The last time I was in this place one of the things I brought out of it to ponder over was a bit of advice it gave me, it said "next time, dont bring all the questions, all I ever get from people is questions questions questions, "who are they ?, who am I ? what is the meaning of life ?", dont you people ever just drop in for a visit without it having to be a therapy session ? If you talk all the time you are never going to hear what anyone else says.

So i remembered that and tried to mentally project that out into space, i was trying to say i dont want to be rude and just come barreling in here demanding attention like it's all about me, i am interested to see what happens in hyperspace when i'm not the focus of everyone's attention, just carry on as normal and i will observe what is happening with interest.

that's what I meant to say, what came out was "Pretend I'm not here !".

I said that out loud, there was a pause, everything went silent, it was like walking into a strange pub and everyone stops and stares at you, The words resonated in the space around me... "Pretend I am not here !", Then I heard a voice, not a thought in my head, not an idea, a fucking real audible voice, it said "But you ARE here".

Suddenly what I had said seemed ridiculous, preposterous, silly, pointless and most of all very very funny, I started to laugh, the voice started to laugh, the whole room started to laugh, I was laughing so hard I was crying, struggling to breath, talk about an energy shaifter, the whole space around me felt like it was expanding, growing, I felt accepted, welcome and VALID as a sentient being present at this meeting place in hyperspace and it was like we were now fully over the awkward formalities and the energy could really flow and move along now, there was a sense of relief and a sense of being totally comfortable with myself, I had laughed at myself and accepted that i was an idiot sometimes and that was seen and shared by the mushroom and it got me some acknowledgment and respect in that dimension, that's what it felt like anyway.

"So what are you doing ?, I mean what were you doing before I got here ?" I was about to follow that up with "do you actually exist when I'm not here ?" when it occurred to me that was a rude question and was better left unsaid this time, "I was waiting for you" came the reply, this seemed strange, 'waiting for me ?, why am i so important ? why would everything in hyperspace stop just for me, i dont understand it ?", "BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU !".
"BECAUSE WE ARE YOU".

"BECAUSE IT IS ALL YOU".

Then it felt like the space around me folded in on itself and slowly drew itself up over me, it was like your mother pulling the bedclothes up over you when you are a baby and tucking you snuggly in, it had that physical feeling to it and also had the full emotional layers embedded into it as well.
I curled back up into a ball, not in fear and panic this time but in total bliss, completely accepted by everything, by the space around me itself, there was a pulsing sensation like a huge heartbeat as if the whole universe was beating in time with me on every level.

Then it went left..........

You know when you are lying on a bed or on a couch with your eyes closed and someone walking past bumps into it with there leg, the whole thing sort of jumps with a dull thud, well the bed did that, thud thud, 2 distinct impacts exactly as if someone had just nudged the bed with there knee. This got my full attention, I was starting to panic when I heard terence's voice again in my memory from his how to take psychedelics lecture and I said out loud in a strong voice, "I DONT LIKE THIS, TAKE IT OFF ME".

I sit up, I light the candle, the whole energy starts to shrink away into the walls, I need more light, I hit the switch on the lava lamp, that's better, I sit there staring at the room around me for a few minutes, I see the joints i rolled earlier sitting within reach and I really want one, but I cant physically bring myself to move yet, I'm just sitting staring at the whole room trying not to focus my attention on any one part of it, I just want it to be given the chance to make itself solid and real again in the space around me and i dont want to start labeling parts of it yet, I just want the big picture back.

I flip open the laptop, I have no idea how long that whole experience lasted, the laptop says 1.15am, holy crap that whole thing has taken just over 40 minutes from when I lay down, it was just wave one, Ok time to regather myself and form a plan of attack for the next hour, I am not going to turn the lights off again i know that, I feel that i have done enough exploring on that level for one journey and I want the rest of it to be much less intense than that, I consider some music but nothing seems appropriate, a breeze has started up outside and the wind chimes on the back porch are playing, that's enough to focus on, with a few flickering shadows from the candle and the blobs of plasma in the lava lamp i think I have enough to keep me grounded.

How can i direct the rest of it in some way, what would I like to happen next, some colours would be nice, that was all a bit dark and like I said charcoal grey toned, CANNABIS>>> YESSSSSS, now it's time for the green goddess to come and take a seat at the party, already I can feel rhe next wave building but just the fact that i am about to have this joint seems to have given the energy a kind of organic feel to it, I light the joint and take a few deep long tokes, the wave is building fast again but it's different, instead of feeling like a fleet of starships the size of venus all arriving at warp speed and vaporizing reality this feels like a huge forest growing from seedlings to mature trees in seconds rather tham centuries, I feel confident enough to kill the lights again, the goddess is shattering the mundane planes of grey with shards of iridescent green and shafts of golden yellow, the funnel is back, everything is again tumbling forward into this vortex, my ears crick not so intensly as before but I yawn about 8 times uncontrollably and every time I feel waves of purple flood downwards from my jaw into my torso.

I feel my eyelids closing and I try to imagine a goddess not a mushroom in my mind..."Will I see elves ?" I said, then it all went black.

part 2 to come................................
 
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First time in my life I have ever actually been upset that a trip report ended... I'll be waiting as patiently as possible for Numero Dos.

Great Report!
 
Part 2.....

So where was I ?, Ahh yes, It all went dark...

When I say dark i mean total black, the void, it's not a colour its a space devoid of all light, there is not even a hint of an edge or a depth, it's the void, I know this place, I have been here before, the thing to do when one finds oneself in this place is to relax, to be patient, watch the space, pay attention, dont create, dont imagine, it requires no effort to just be, be awareness, that is all you have left in the void, you are there, it is not empty because you are there, and for it to exist it needs you present to be witnessing it, so its a blank page, no stories are being projected onto it, do nothing, just wait.... something ALWAYS happens.

There is a tiny pinprick of light, white light, way way off in the distance, I mean i have no real perception of distance so it could be right in front of me just really really small but it feels like it is approaching not growing, I focus on it watching it get brighter and closer as it now fills the central 25% of my perceptual space, it is twinkling like a star but its becoming too bright, the intensity is starting to burn, I open my eyes ( feel the lids open) but the scene doesnt change, there is no difference either way, its not going to let me switch it off, ok no problem, if I have to watch then I will watch, I suddenly see that the twinkling effect is not actually a twinkling at all, the thing is spinning in space really fast, and little sparks of light are flying of it at the edges, its like a silver ball of white light, a sphere like a planet almost but it is spinning at thousands of revs per second.

As i watch, over the course of a minute or sow the spinning gradually gets slower and slower, the white light starts to get infused with hints of red and dark blue and dark green, it starts to morph from a sphere into more of a shape of some kind, it feels like a sculpture is being made and sections of the original sphere are being discarded to allow a shape living within the structyre of the thing to be born, not born thats the wrong word, but to be freed and well the word discovered comes to mind but thats not really whats happening either.

I try to see what the shape is, it appears at first to be some kind of childs spinning top, red and white, the real old fashioned edwardian style of kids toy vibe about it, and its wobbling on its axis now a lot like a spinning top would as it slowed down, but not its changing again, it's a toy wooden soldier with a red tunic a black hat and white pants, its standing to attention and still spinning as slowly its arms raise out from its sides until they are pointing straight out at right angles to the body in the crucifix stance, I look from its arms back to its body and I see the soldiers uniform has changed into a little red and white dress and the figure is now a young girl perhaps about 8 years old spinning around and around with her arms outstretched, the spinning slows and comes to a stop.

I look up expecting to see the face of a carved wooden doll because I still had the wooden top to toy soldier to doll thing in my head and was assuming this was some kind of toy when reality shifted left again in a big way, it wasn't the face of a doll, it was a real girl, a human girl, as real and solid and tangible and believable as any real human you have ever met in normal waking consciousness, there she was, standing in front of me in the void staring right into my eyes clear as day, the realism of the moment stunned me, this was a new type of hallucination that does not really fit into any category I have experienced before on tryptamines, she wasn't an elf, or a tyke, or a praying mantis or a 10 headed alien or a giant mushroom, she was just a regular kid, like someones little sister, I didn't know what to do, I grasped for words but nothing would come out.

Then she smiled and gave me a look that I will never forget, it was a look that had 10 thousand years of knowledge wrapped up in it, it was far from naive and innocent, and cut right through me in a way I didn't understand, then she was gone, dissolving into the void.

.I said out loud BRAVO !! as if i had just been shown a stage act in a variety show, sounds kinda silly now but it had finished with a sort of fairground music hall humour to it and Bravo seemed appropriate at the time.

The scene then changed instantly to a complete world, the void was gone, this whole new place just faded up into focus and overlayed all the senses, I was in the woods somewhere, thick lush green woods, not forest, not jungle, I definitely want to use the word woods, in a middle aged pagan Celtic robin hood sort of way.

I sense that now a dance is occurring between the spirits of the plants, the visuals are from the goddess, no question in my mind about that, when you abstain from thc for a long time and go into a ritual experience with it in a high dose in darkness the visuals are as intense as anything lsd or mescaline can do, It seems a shame so few people seem to get this about it and use it in this way, it is always used as some kind of way to enhance something else, like listening to music or making love or thinking or anything really, but it's never usually about just the thc itself and the content of a pure uninterrupted thc journey.

But what the mushroom is able to add to this state of affairs is all the other sensory input needed to make the vision totally immersive, the mushroom adds taste, smell, touch and sound to the scene, I can not only see that I am now in the thick of some woodland, it really FEELS like I am there, its feels damp, musty, I can taste the acrid smell of rotting wood and leaf matter on my nostrils, I can taste the pollen and the moisture in the air, smell the ferns and the bracken, I drift through the undergrowth for some way until a woman comes into focus, standing in front of me partly obscured by the undergrowth I see a big fat middle aged country woman, in a white cotton blouse wearing a blue and white checked baking apron, she is holding a basket that is hanging from her folded arms and in it there is a collection of plants, she is beaming at me, a big round farmers wifes kind of face, i sense a small cottage in a clearing some distance behind her but it is only a sense that it is there I never actually see it.

I ask her "are you another version of the cannabis spirit, the goddess behind the plant itself ?", she smiled with EXACTLY the same glint in her eye as the little girl did.
Then in less than a moment, it was all gone, I felt my body pressing down on my bed, a yawned a couple of times and stretched, I decide to light the candle and the other joint, the wave is not passed at this point, that whole set of visions took maybe around 15 to 20 minutes to play out, so when I sit up to smoke the second joint the room around me is doing the full Salvidor dhali melting thing, there are no straight lines, its all bending and pulsing, very lewis carroll, it's got the alice in wonderland down the rabbit hole feel about it now, I can still hear a kind of distant chattering of small high pitched voices but its is distant and not intrusive on the space.

The rest of the experience played out pretty much like your standard medium dose psychedelic personal inventory taking that one does, I worked my way through a bit of personal stuff, waded through and discarded some old patterns and belief systems that had been bogging me down a bit personally, all run of the mill stuff to most seasoned psychonaughts and not really worth elaborating on in a public forum.

So the main differences that I can report between this higher dose and the more conservative doses are the really smooth transition into complete reality shift at the onset of the first wave, the voice happening this time as a real audible effect and not just an over clear thought and the physical effect of something bumping against the end of the bed.

At no point during the experience did I feel any real threat or terror, more a couple of moments of confusion and panic but apart from the bed thumping thing nothing really dented my psych or did any damage to my sanity.

I'd be interested to hear from anyone else who approaches the mushroom in this way to see if any of your experiences match up with mine.

thanks all for making it this far through a post that was much longer than i had anticipated.

Safe journeys fellow beings, have a great new year.
 
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I must say, that was a godly report. I think its pretty crazy you kind of had a dialogue going with that entity, I have never had the experience of being visited by otherworldly being and it sounds pretty amazing. Being rescued from the void by a girl who seems to be the epitome of beauty just sounds sooo epic! lol

Last time I did shrooms I did 5 grams and the come-up wasn't nearly as smooth or powerful as yours, In fact as the first wave was approaching I was waiting on a friend to roll a blunt, just sitting in his room and for whatever reason the TV was on and there was a fucking spike tv gang violence special playing. It was really freaking me out because I was trying to ignore it but I kept hearing little bits like "and she was found with a machete in her back" and shit eventually I made him turn it off lol. It still ended up being a great trip but next time im going to be doing a high dose of shrooms Im going to prepare a lot more like you did and probs try and have a percussion jam at some point.

...playing the drums on shrooms is like one of the best things ever lol.
 
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