Setting - Grandparents house in Pennsylvania. I'm from Kentucky. My cousin got married the night before, and while i was happy for her, and had a good time the night before; i was feeling empty because of recent problems with an Ex-girlfriend, problems between my parents and I, and problems with my first year of school. I have pretty much been overwhelmed with problems on all fronts since entering my first year of college last August.
Substances - 3.5 grams of some vicous looking shrooms. 2 decently sized joints of the best bud i can find in KY, and half a fifth of Jim Beam. These were all thing i brought along for the trip (no pun intended), as my grandparents house, while comfortable, can become quite boring for a nineteen year old who is accustomed to going out most nights.
10:15 - Go to the room i am staying in and eat the mushies, chasing them every once in a while with a swig of whiskey. I like to eat them slowly because i feel like i have a weak stomach, and do not like pounding my stomach with an 1/8 of shrooms quickly.
10:33 Finished eating the shrooms, and feeling a pleasant glow from my friend Jim. The room is in the basement, and there is a walk out to a nice patio, with a comfy-ass swinging couch thing (i don't know the technical term for it) My grandparents live right on the edge of a city called Allentown. Albeit it is not a large city by any means, but it does have a good skyline that i can see comfortably from my position on the couch. There are sparse clouds here and there, but nothing to obstruct my view of the stars, which are my favorite thing to play with whilst tripping. Actually, a few clouds add to the spectacle in my opinion.
10:40 I fire up a joint and sigh as i haven't smoked in the weeks home from college. I feel an instant head change. I like to "chill" on a joint, taking a nice big draw occasionally so that it creeps up on you. I continue this while watching the clouds and listening to the music. I have the speakers sitting next to a window sitting outside. I only brought a few burnt CD's with me, and they are mostly mixes of punk. I do have 2 CD's with me that don't fit the norm. One is my "Sad Summer Mix 2004", and the other is a random collection of "The Postal Service", my favorite band to trip to. There music has a very earthy tone, and i find that it goes best with Cannabis and Shrooms, both drugs that come from the earth itself.
After a little debating with myself, i decide to pop in the Sad Summer Mix, as it is summer, and i am sad. The first song is called "Save Yourself" by Senses Fail. The whole point of this song is asking if you have saved yourself for the person you love, not in a virginity sort of way, but did you save "I Love You" for the person you truly love. It truly is a beautiful song, and i feel the first waves from the shrooms, as the song gets to it's peak. I was feeling very nice from the joint, and the whiskey, and things are beginning to morph in a very dreamy sort of way. I love beginning a trip off stoned. First of all, it helps the nausea, but more importantly, it makes my visual distortions more profound and clear. I feel as i can predict how the clouds will change. I "know" which clouds are going to break up and which ones will stay together. Dancing above the city skyline and framed by the moon and stars, it is really a breathtaking sight. I peel my eyes away from this just long enough to light a cigarette, and take another pull from the bottle.
11:24 - I can fully say that i am tripping. I have very good OEV's and auditory distortions are very distinct. The smoke from my cigarette curls up slowly in front of my face, and i am fascinated by my uncanny ability to predict the movement of the smoke. As I become more entranced by the smoke, it seems that i am in my own IMAXX theatre or something. The smoke begins to transform into celestial gas, and i am right in the middle of it. I am utterly fascinated. It is as if i really am floating through space on my own accord. This continues until the end of the song.
I don't exactly like burnt CD's with different bands on them because when one track is finished, a whole new sound comes on, and doesn't really let me just go with the flow, if you know what i mean. The next song is one that really hits home with me. It is called "A Cinderella Story" by "Plain White T's". It is about breaking up with someone, realizing you made a horrible mistake in doing so, and not being able to get them back.
I have realized this mistake before, but never has a more complete and utter sadness come over me. I literally break down and start crying within the first few seconds of the song. I close my eyes, and see my Ex's face. I open them and look into the sky. The stars are gorgeous, and through teary eyes, i wonder what she is doing at this moment. Perhaps she is looking up at the stars thinking about me. This thought overwhelms me. I begin to cry again, recalling in vivid detail the 2 and a half years our relationship lasted. Every memory brought new pain, but surprisingly i began to feel happy. My mindset quickly changes from "this sucks completely" to "this sucks, but it was awesome". I recall what one of her friends told me. "She said that it is going to suck being without her, but if you guys truly are meant for each other, as me and every one of her friends thinks, then it will be." I begin to believe that this is true, and and am satisfied with the realization that while not being with her is upsetting, that there is something better out there waiting for me. It is at this moment that i hear the familiar text message tone on my phone, and open to read "Hey Dear, just wondering what you are up to. Call me if you get this. I miss you." I decide not to contact her, although the urge to do so is overwhelming. I figure i will let her hang on that for a little while, since many of my text messages have seem to have gone unnoticed by her.
12:22 - With my sudden mood shift, and apparent peak of my trip setting in, i decided to smoke half of my second joint, and couple it with a few shots, and the top it off with a cigarette. I am very impressed with the plan i have just laid out for myself for the next fifteen minutes. It seems very orderly considering i am sitting outside of my grandparents house, tripping my sac off at 12:30 at night. Before i set my plan in motion, i change the music to "Such Great Heights: by "The Postal Service".
The bushes planted next to the patio have taken a very familar shape, almost human like, except not human at all. They dance to the beat of the music and i laugh uncontrollably. I am laughing so hard that i do not realize that i have been letting my joint burn uncontrollably for a couple minutes. I quickly take one last hit, and am propelled into a world i am unfamiliar with.
Nothing in this world seemed normal to me, except for the fact that it was very comfortable. It is hard to describe where i have gone. I will begin by saying that everything in my new world has a path and destination, and no matter what, it/me/you will be carried along that path until it reaches that set destination. I was never a firm believer in destiny, mainly because i don't like feeling like i can't control what i am doing, but i am just convinced that there are "Paths" for everyone. And while the path is not straight, and by no means only one directional, your destination is set. It feels like a compromise. On this path you can take as many sideroads, detours, and bypasses that you want, but in the end you will end up at the same spot.
I light a cigarette, and begin applying my new theory to my life. I have wanted to be a High School history teacher ever since entering High School. I had some shitty teachers that i don't think any kid needs to be exposed to, and i had some fantastic teachers that i admire, and would like to have the same effect on my students, as these teachers had on me. My path was set; go to college, get a degree, get a job, get married, BAM there's you life.
Except i failed out my first year of school. Possession charge does not help much either. waning support from my parents is another downfall. All these things have bothered me until this night. As i sit here and ponder my theory, i realize that i can, and will accomplish what needs to be accomplished. My destination is chosen, but i will forge my own path. This realization does not scare me.
1:15 - Contempt with my realizations, i decide to sit back and enjoy the rest of my trip. As i light a cigarette, i am struck by the beauty of the Skyline. These man made structures were lit up and framed by celestial objects. It was like something out of a movie. The buildings were swaying, the clouds were distinct, and although there was little light, they were quite colorful, which was a pleasant change from the usual "it is dark, your trip will be dark" feeling of tripping at night. I halfway expected to see spacheships coming down and docking at the top of these buildings, for it has a very space age look. This is strange considering Allentown is quite an old city. I turn to my left and begin to stare at this tree that has been here since i was born. In my younger years i would climb on this tree, and it seemed so huge. I look at it now and realize the branch i would climb up onto is only a few feet off the ground. A wave of euphoria spreads over as i think about this. The trees branches seem to be reaching down and touching the earth in a very graceful sort of way. I am awed by their beauty.
2:00 - Feeling a slight comedown in the effects. Smoke the rest of my joint, and take a few more pulls from the bottle before heading off to my bed. I dislike the comedown from shrooms very much, and the only way i can sleep is to be on another substance that helps me sleep. Alcohol and pot are my favorite combination.
I lay down on my bed and stare at some clown paintings that My grandfather painted while in the service. They use to scare the shit outta me when i was young, but now they have a very comical element to them, although sadness is written all over their faces. I do not know why they are sad, since everything will be better in the end. A realization that i have come too, and i begin to chuckle at myself for telling a painting this.
My grandfather has some very neat sports memorabilia. He painted a picture of Mickey Mantle, and then had him sign it, making it a one of a kind in the world. I would estimate hundred of thousands of dollars worth of stuff in his basement. About 80 baseballs signed by people such as babe ruth, mike schmidt, and johnny bench. I am fascinated by the sheer pricelessness of the stuff in his basement, and i am even more awestruck by the fact that he hasn't sold it for the money. He simply loves sports, and loves his stuff, and i admire him for that.
2:45 - The effects of the shrooms are beginning to wear off, and i am simply stoned and drunk. I fall asleep listening to the "Sad Summer Mix". It is still summer, but i am not sad.
Reflection - There is not much to reflect. This is the first time i have come out of a shroom trip with "answers" to things. It might have had some to do with the pot, and alcohol, and the aloneness, or maybe the wickedness of these shrooms was what did it. I usually trip with friends though, not giving me much in the way to reflect and think about things i need to think about. I think i will try tripping alone more often, although group trips are always fun.
I do feel a whole lot better about my situation. I was feeling really shitty about things for a while. This trip opened up my eyes to many things.
Substances - 3.5 grams of some vicous looking shrooms. 2 decently sized joints of the best bud i can find in KY, and half a fifth of Jim Beam. These were all thing i brought along for the trip (no pun intended), as my grandparents house, while comfortable, can become quite boring for a nineteen year old who is accustomed to going out most nights.
10:15 - Go to the room i am staying in and eat the mushies, chasing them every once in a while with a swig of whiskey. I like to eat them slowly because i feel like i have a weak stomach, and do not like pounding my stomach with an 1/8 of shrooms quickly.
10:33 Finished eating the shrooms, and feeling a pleasant glow from my friend Jim. The room is in the basement, and there is a walk out to a nice patio, with a comfy-ass swinging couch thing (i don't know the technical term for it) My grandparents live right on the edge of a city called Allentown. Albeit it is not a large city by any means, but it does have a good skyline that i can see comfortably from my position on the couch. There are sparse clouds here and there, but nothing to obstruct my view of the stars, which are my favorite thing to play with whilst tripping. Actually, a few clouds add to the spectacle in my opinion.
10:40 I fire up a joint and sigh as i haven't smoked in the weeks home from college. I feel an instant head change. I like to "chill" on a joint, taking a nice big draw occasionally so that it creeps up on you. I continue this while watching the clouds and listening to the music. I have the speakers sitting next to a window sitting outside. I only brought a few burnt CD's with me, and they are mostly mixes of punk. I do have 2 CD's with me that don't fit the norm. One is my "Sad Summer Mix 2004", and the other is a random collection of "The Postal Service", my favorite band to trip to. There music has a very earthy tone, and i find that it goes best with Cannabis and Shrooms, both drugs that come from the earth itself.
After a little debating with myself, i decide to pop in the Sad Summer Mix, as it is summer, and i am sad. The first song is called "Save Yourself" by Senses Fail. The whole point of this song is asking if you have saved yourself for the person you love, not in a virginity sort of way, but did you save "I Love You" for the person you truly love. It truly is a beautiful song, and i feel the first waves from the shrooms, as the song gets to it's peak. I was feeling very nice from the joint, and the whiskey, and things are beginning to morph in a very dreamy sort of way. I love beginning a trip off stoned. First of all, it helps the nausea, but more importantly, it makes my visual distortions more profound and clear. I feel as i can predict how the clouds will change. I "know" which clouds are going to break up and which ones will stay together. Dancing above the city skyline and framed by the moon and stars, it is really a breathtaking sight. I peel my eyes away from this just long enough to light a cigarette, and take another pull from the bottle.
11:24 - I can fully say that i am tripping. I have very good OEV's and auditory distortions are very distinct. The smoke from my cigarette curls up slowly in front of my face, and i am fascinated by my uncanny ability to predict the movement of the smoke. As I become more entranced by the smoke, it seems that i am in my own IMAXX theatre or something. The smoke begins to transform into celestial gas, and i am right in the middle of it. I am utterly fascinated. It is as if i really am floating through space on my own accord. This continues until the end of the song.
I don't exactly like burnt CD's with different bands on them because when one track is finished, a whole new sound comes on, and doesn't really let me just go with the flow, if you know what i mean. The next song is one that really hits home with me. It is called "A Cinderella Story" by "Plain White T's". It is about breaking up with someone, realizing you made a horrible mistake in doing so, and not being able to get them back.
I have realized this mistake before, but never has a more complete and utter sadness come over me. I literally break down and start crying within the first few seconds of the song. I close my eyes, and see my Ex's face. I open them and look into the sky. The stars are gorgeous, and through teary eyes, i wonder what she is doing at this moment. Perhaps she is looking up at the stars thinking about me. This thought overwhelms me. I begin to cry again, recalling in vivid detail the 2 and a half years our relationship lasted. Every memory brought new pain, but surprisingly i began to feel happy. My mindset quickly changes from "this sucks completely" to "this sucks, but it was awesome". I recall what one of her friends told me. "She said that it is going to suck being without her, but if you guys truly are meant for each other, as me and every one of her friends thinks, then it will be." I begin to believe that this is true, and and am satisfied with the realization that while not being with her is upsetting, that there is something better out there waiting for me. It is at this moment that i hear the familiar text message tone on my phone, and open to read "Hey Dear, just wondering what you are up to. Call me if you get this. I miss you." I decide not to contact her, although the urge to do so is overwhelming. I figure i will let her hang on that for a little while, since many of my text messages have seem to have gone unnoticed by her.
12:22 - With my sudden mood shift, and apparent peak of my trip setting in, i decided to smoke half of my second joint, and couple it with a few shots, and the top it off with a cigarette. I am very impressed with the plan i have just laid out for myself for the next fifteen minutes. It seems very orderly considering i am sitting outside of my grandparents house, tripping my sac off at 12:30 at night. Before i set my plan in motion, i change the music to "Such Great Heights: by "The Postal Service".
The bushes planted next to the patio have taken a very familar shape, almost human like, except not human at all. They dance to the beat of the music and i laugh uncontrollably. I am laughing so hard that i do not realize that i have been letting my joint burn uncontrollably for a couple minutes. I quickly take one last hit, and am propelled into a world i am unfamiliar with.
Nothing in this world seemed normal to me, except for the fact that it was very comfortable. It is hard to describe where i have gone. I will begin by saying that everything in my new world has a path and destination, and no matter what, it/me/you will be carried along that path until it reaches that set destination. I was never a firm believer in destiny, mainly because i don't like feeling like i can't control what i am doing, but i am just convinced that there are "Paths" for everyone. And while the path is not straight, and by no means only one directional, your destination is set. It feels like a compromise. On this path you can take as many sideroads, detours, and bypasses that you want, but in the end you will end up at the same spot.
I light a cigarette, and begin applying my new theory to my life. I have wanted to be a High School history teacher ever since entering High School. I had some shitty teachers that i don't think any kid needs to be exposed to, and i had some fantastic teachers that i admire, and would like to have the same effect on my students, as these teachers had on me. My path was set; go to college, get a degree, get a job, get married, BAM there's you life.
Except i failed out my first year of school. Possession charge does not help much either. waning support from my parents is another downfall. All these things have bothered me until this night. As i sit here and ponder my theory, i realize that i can, and will accomplish what needs to be accomplished. My destination is chosen, but i will forge my own path. This realization does not scare me.
1:15 - Contempt with my realizations, i decide to sit back and enjoy the rest of my trip. As i light a cigarette, i am struck by the beauty of the Skyline. These man made structures were lit up and framed by celestial objects. It was like something out of a movie. The buildings were swaying, the clouds were distinct, and although there was little light, they were quite colorful, which was a pleasant change from the usual "it is dark, your trip will be dark" feeling of tripping at night. I halfway expected to see spacheships coming down and docking at the top of these buildings, for it has a very space age look. This is strange considering Allentown is quite an old city. I turn to my left and begin to stare at this tree that has been here since i was born. In my younger years i would climb on this tree, and it seemed so huge. I look at it now and realize the branch i would climb up onto is only a few feet off the ground. A wave of euphoria spreads over as i think about this. The trees branches seem to be reaching down and touching the earth in a very graceful sort of way. I am awed by their beauty.
2:00 - Feeling a slight comedown in the effects. Smoke the rest of my joint, and take a few more pulls from the bottle before heading off to my bed. I dislike the comedown from shrooms very much, and the only way i can sleep is to be on another substance that helps me sleep. Alcohol and pot are my favorite combination.
I lay down on my bed and stare at some clown paintings that My grandfather painted while in the service. They use to scare the shit outta me when i was young, but now they have a very comical element to them, although sadness is written all over their faces. I do not know why they are sad, since everything will be better in the end. A realization that i have come too, and i begin to chuckle at myself for telling a painting this.
My grandfather has some very neat sports memorabilia. He painted a picture of Mickey Mantle, and then had him sign it, making it a one of a kind in the world. I would estimate hundred of thousands of dollars worth of stuff in his basement. About 80 baseballs signed by people such as babe ruth, mike schmidt, and johnny bench. I am fascinated by the sheer pricelessness of the stuff in his basement, and i am even more awestruck by the fact that he hasn't sold it for the money. He simply loves sports, and loves his stuff, and i admire him for that.
2:45 - The effects of the shrooms are beginning to wear off, and i am simply stoned and drunk. I fall asleep listening to the "Sad Summer Mix". It is still summer, but i am not sad.
Reflection - There is not much to reflect. This is the first time i have come out of a shroom trip with "answers" to things. It might have had some to do with the pot, and alcohol, and the aloneness, or maybe the wickedness of these shrooms was what did it. I usually trip with friends though, not giving me much in the way to reflect and think about things i need to think about. I think i will try tripping alone more often, although group trips are always fun.
I do feel a whole lot better about my situation. I was feeling really shitty about things for a while. This trip opened up my eyes to many things.
