I was looking forward to this experience for quite some time as I had abstained from drugs for a couple of months before this trip. Basically I have been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I dropped out of gradute school and was rebelling against the notion that I had to "do" something with my life. The mushrooms that I took were home-grown which kinda added to the experience for me. I had taken the time to actually make what I would be consuming.
I woke up on a Monday morning at about 11 and began preparing for the trip. I didn't eat anything since the night before as it usually helps with making the trip cleaner IMO. I stocked up on things that I might need like such as suitable music etc. As of right now I am living in a house that me and my friend are staying in, although at this point in time he is stationed over in the middle east with the air force. Thus, I had a whole house to myself for this particular trip. I was not overly concerned because I have tripped by myself many times before, even though I have just moved here and don't really know anyone.
T19:30 - I consumed the shrooms by themselves as I really don't mind the taste. Right after eating them I look into my cigarette pack. Ouch - only one left - something I had overlooked. I figured since I had just ate them I had enough time to quickly drive over to 7-11 and get some. I get there and nothing is happening. I take my keys out of the ignition and get some change to buy my cigarettes from the cup holder and... I locked my keys in the car. Waves of panic overwhelm me. I'm about a mile away from the house with my keys in my car and about to start shrooming. I have no one to call. I ask around for some piece of wire to break into my car as I have done this before with coat hangers. Alas, there are none to be found. Finally I calm myself done and relegate myself to the fact that I am just going to leave my car there until the morning. I begin the walk home.
T19:45 At this point I am beginning to get over the fact of my lost car and enjoying the walk back to my place. The sun is setting and on the way back home I get a little giggly and start to laugh to myself about the whole incident. I think to myself that this can still be a good trip. Seems that even then I had the feeling that this trip could take a bad turn if I let it.
T20:15 I get back to the house as it turns dark and the shrooms kick in with a vengeance. I have always gotten very intense visuals even on slighter doses of shrooms and this time it was no different. Things started "fractaling" very early and my vision was tinting red. I remember thinking that this was going to be one hell of a trip.
T20:30 I laid down on my couch and popped in the moonshine "Transambient" DVD with all the lights turned out. The whole room seemed tansfixed with the visuals on the DVD seemingly merging with the rest of the room, climing up the walls and onto the ceiling. I starting feeling very drowsy and my body began to feel very anxious. I wish I could describe it better, but the best way to put it would be that I became very uncomfortable. I got up to go outside and smoke a cigarette to get a change of scenery and looked into my pack. Then I remembered I had only one cig left and I started thinking about the whole botched trip with my car. No matter how much I tried to put it out of my mind I started thinking about all the irrational things that might happen to my car. The "What have I done?" thoughts started to pop up my head.
T21:00 By this time I was starting to feel worse and worse and decided that I needed to relax and listen to some mazzy star. The only problem was in restrospect I was not trying to relax but combat the feelings I was feeling by trying to make them go away. Then I got the half-crazy notion that I wanted to simply sleep off this trip so I could make it back to my car at the earliest possible time because I was in no shape to go get it at this point.
T21:30 After lying in bed in a dark room stuck in an anxiety thought loop for about a half-hour with closed eyes , I finally broke free of the anxiety. The thought that snapped me out if it was my recognizing that I hated my present life. At the time I didn't view it as a bad thing. It felt good to actually be able to hold onto a feeling for any length of time, even one that might normally throw me off the deep end. By this time the visuals were so intense when I closed my eyes that I simply accepted them as the reality I was living in. Nothing changed when I opened my eyes either. It was a complete 3-D geometric world that I found myself in. I began to repeat the word "love" over and over in my mind. This calmed me down to the point where I could finally begin to grasp what was happening to me and not simply react to the physical and mental confusion and anxiety overwhelming me, almost certainly arising from how my trip had started.
T22:00 After calming down my mind I began to speak to myself in the third person. Was I really ready for this experience I was having? I imagined that I was holding a mirror up to myself. The tricks I used to self-delude myself were washed away and had to look at myself in a whole new light. I was simply floating around in life without a purpose. This point was driven home to me by a feeling of myself floating in the geometric pattern of color. I remember finally almost crying at the profundity of what I was realizing. The descriptions I have now do not really do it justice. I have had much stronger trip with up to 7 grams of shrooms with ego-dissolution and do not think I have had such a beautiful experience. I think the calming effect of having battled a negative "bad trip" at the beginning of the experience had an effect on how I viewed the rest of it.
T23:30 After laying in bed for awhile I finally got up and turned on the computer and to my amazement could not even make out the screen let alone type anything. I picked up a random book filled with trip reports and flipped to a page and was finally able to read a sentence and remember laughing out loud at a passage although I have yet to find out exactly what it was. I ate some orange slices and laid back down trying to work out various problems I had in my interactions with my friends and family. Eventually I came to point where I made the decision to try to let them know who the real me was - not the person I thought they wished me to be. It was a great realization.
T00:45 I finally starting to feel tired and after laying in bed for perhaps an hour I was finally able to drift off to sleep.
T08:00 I woke up feeling great and made the walk over the 7-11 with a hop in my step to find my car still there. I got into without a problem and drove on home in perhaps the most peaceful state of mind I have ever been in...
[ 11 September 2002: Message edited by: nick44 ]
I woke up on a Monday morning at about 11 and began preparing for the trip. I didn't eat anything since the night before as it usually helps with making the trip cleaner IMO. I stocked up on things that I might need like such as suitable music etc. As of right now I am living in a house that me and my friend are staying in, although at this point in time he is stationed over in the middle east with the air force. Thus, I had a whole house to myself for this particular trip. I was not overly concerned because I have tripped by myself many times before, even though I have just moved here and don't really know anyone.
T19:30 - I consumed the shrooms by themselves as I really don't mind the taste. Right after eating them I look into my cigarette pack. Ouch - only one left - something I had overlooked. I figured since I had just ate them I had enough time to quickly drive over to 7-11 and get some. I get there and nothing is happening. I take my keys out of the ignition and get some change to buy my cigarettes from the cup holder and... I locked my keys in the car. Waves of panic overwhelm me. I'm about a mile away from the house with my keys in my car and about to start shrooming. I have no one to call. I ask around for some piece of wire to break into my car as I have done this before with coat hangers. Alas, there are none to be found. Finally I calm myself done and relegate myself to the fact that I am just going to leave my car there until the morning. I begin the walk home.
T19:45 At this point I am beginning to get over the fact of my lost car and enjoying the walk back to my place. The sun is setting and on the way back home I get a little giggly and start to laugh to myself about the whole incident. I think to myself that this can still be a good trip. Seems that even then I had the feeling that this trip could take a bad turn if I let it.
T20:15 I get back to the house as it turns dark and the shrooms kick in with a vengeance. I have always gotten very intense visuals even on slighter doses of shrooms and this time it was no different. Things started "fractaling" very early and my vision was tinting red. I remember thinking that this was going to be one hell of a trip.
T20:30 I laid down on my couch and popped in the moonshine "Transambient" DVD with all the lights turned out. The whole room seemed tansfixed with the visuals on the DVD seemingly merging with the rest of the room, climing up the walls and onto the ceiling. I starting feeling very drowsy and my body began to feel very anxious. I wish I could describe it better, but the best way to put it would be that I became very uncomfortable. I got up to go outside and smoke a cigarette to get a change of scenery and looked into my pack. Then I remembered I had only one cig left and I started thinking about the whole botched trip with my car. No matter how much I tried to put it out of my mind I started thinking about all the irrational things that might happen to my car. The "What have I done?" thoughts started to pop up my head.
T21:00 By this time I was starting to feel worse and worse and decided that I needed to relax and listen to some mazzy star. The only problem was in restrospect I was not trying to relax but combat the feelings I was feeling by trying to make them go away. Then I got the half-crazy notion that I wanted to simply sleep off this trip so I could make it back to my car at the earliest possible time because I was in no shape to go get it at this point.
T21:30 After lying in bed in a dark room stuck in an anxiety thought loop for about a half-hour with closed eyes , I finally broke free of the anxiety. The thought that snapped me out if it was my recognizing that I hated my present life. At the time I didn't view it as a bad thing. It felt good to actually be able to hold onto a feeling for any length of time, even one that might normally throw me off the deep end. By this time the visuals were so intense when I closed my eyes that I simply accepted them as the reality I was living in. Nothing changed when I opened my eyes either. It was a complete 3-D geometric world that I found myself in. I began to repeat the word "love" over and over in my mind. This calmed me down to the point where I could finally begin to grasp what was happening to me and not simply react to the physical and mental confusion and anxiety overwhelming me, almost certainly arising from how my trip had started.
T22:00 After calming down my mind I began to speak to myself in the third person. Was I really ready for this experience I was having? I imagined that I was holding a mirror up to myself. The tricks I used to self-delude myself were washed away and had to look at myself in a whole new light. I was simply floating around in life without a purpose. This point was driven home to me by a feeling of myself floating in the geometric pattern of color. I remember finally almost crying at the profundity of what I was realizing. The descriptions I have now do not really do it justice. I have had much stronger trip with up to 7 grams of shrooms with ego-dissolution and do not think I have had such a beautiful experience. I think the calming effect of having battled a negative "bad trip" at the beginning of the experience had an effect on how I viewed the rest of it.
T23:30 After laying in bed for awhile I finally got up and turned on the computer and to my amazement could not even make out the screen let alone type anything. I picked up a random book filled with trip reports and flipped to a page and was finally able to read a sentence and remember laughing out loud at a passage although I have yet to find out exactly what it was. I ate some orange slices and laid back down trying to work out various problems I had in my interactions with my friends and family. Eventually I came to point where I made the decision to try to let them know who the real me was - not the person I thought they wished me to be. It was a great realization.
T00:45 I finally starting to feel tired and after laying in bed for perhaps an hour I was finally able to drift off to sleep.
T08:00 I woke up feeling great and made the walk over the 7-11 with a hop in my step to find my car still there. I got into without a problem and drove on home in perhaps the most peaceful state of mind I have ever been in...
[ 11 September 2002: Message edited by: nick44 ]
