nothinginside
Bluelighter
1.3-7 grams of some potent mushrooms, daytripper
at roughly 10:45 am i ingested about 1.4-.7 grams of some pretty high potency mushrooms.
I could ingest some remeron to increase effects of psilocybin in my body, as it usually provides for a pretty deep and penetrating experience, although more dreamy, a little less push, just genuine effects that you would call mushrooms.
Remeron also helps to fight anxiety. Sometimes I take half a pill while shrooming.... to both lengthen, and deepen, as well as sometimes helping me to make 'sense' of alot of things..
ever since trying the combination once, unknowingly, i experienced a clarity for sustainable periods of time, where i could focus on something.. such as moving clouds in the sky, say as an overlay, with the moon behind. If I held a feeling.. somehow, someway, the movement in the clouds seemed to stop.. for up to 10 seconds it felt one time. the time dilation was extremely emmense in these instants..
I felt some kind of energy from the moon. My posture became automatic, natural. My jaw was hanging open, no tension, my body was ape like, not more so like ape, as human, but a more relaxed human posture, arms dangling, head up and body perfectly facing the moon.
I felt in this time, the truest feeling i'd felt in awhile.. well. i wouldn't call it that.. but it was a definate call.. This night, I also recognized the overall breaths of nature, how they all work off each other as waves... to create an entirely larger wave.
I began to just understand nature.. it was so simple.. so loving.. . . . . beautiful...
repeated fractal reactions in my mind manifested as OEVs as well as CEVs displayed the femenine lips... well.. just lips i guess.. but i felt female attraction.. i was completely in love.. with whatever was happening..
felt touched by the truth of everything, god, nature, whatever the name we call it.
__________________
Today the sun is out brightly.. i must return to the outside.. . . . for it is very nice outside today.. around 70 something it feels.
I will update with edits, and change the parenthesized (E01) to E02, meaning entry 2.
it is now t+30 minutes.. I'm a bit stoned, maybe feeling moreso.
my mind seems clear, and I just ingested about 5 mg remeron to add that flavor i'm finding useful.
good day everyone
_________________________
T+ 50 mins or so; 11 40 am (E02)
been doing circular movements of the arms.. trying to find my centerfuge.. if that makes any sense.. basically trying to find where all my inertia is going.. and just let it go...
and i'm not really even doing anything.. just letting it happen..
listening to live versions of a couple tool songs.. the drum beats are very liberating
had an 'outside' reflection in the mirror.. felt like i was seeing myself from anothers eyes..
I like to play with the hemispheres while taking mushrooms..
remeron seems to make this process more fluid.. easy to do..
you can try it to...
look in the mirror.. look at yourself.. with your head tilted.. with right eye tilted more into focus and it being dominant.. then tilt your head the other direction.. and let you left eye come out...
I don't know.. just kinda interesting.. dunno if it works for anyone else, i used quite a bit of subliminal control (suggestion?) to acheive understanding of right brain/left brain laterality, dunno if that is the right word.. but oh well..
just research to mine own..
now i must go outside again...
definately feeling more than stoned... that's all i will say right now.
____________________________________________________
(E03)
(t+70 mins or so?)
you can only tell a person so much, if a person comes to you with a question regarding their own path, presenting you with previor course maybe, or desired destination, you can only point them the direction you know.. they don't want to know your life story, that only complicates their own.. they're on a journy, for something..
they want to figure it out for themselves, they just asked you to point the finger, they do their own math.....
____________________________________________________
(E04)
(t+85 mins or so)
talking to a friend.. said the sun is nice today... that is awesome outside..
right as i said the sun is nice, something common, he replys back.. as well as the music, tools revision of no quarter, it sang, the sun beats down don't ya know.
just observing some nice synchronicity
colors are more vibrant, if that's what i pay attention to.. it seems like wherever my attention goes, so does my mind... myself, i feel rhythems at times.. plasma trail like, intense spectrums, auric, all around, inside me, me... the outside..
just imagination.. but just trying to pay attention to what this low dosage can show me...
i'm tired of the tour.. this is enough to unlock the door
____________________________________________________
(E05)
t+95 mins
undesired factor in equation arrived, roommate, conflict, yet i understand him.. i understand his hatred for me as well as my own disliking for him at this time..
time......
over time....
we learn to fade and bring foward.
i faded too long, let way.. let be.. tried to keep the peace.. tried to investigate the reasons, when they've been digging down deep inside all my life.. i just haven't let them go.. i need this..
objective reality creates some pretty bad probabilities..
bad.. heh
...
tis only fuel
ok.. i guess this might be the peak.. mind is able to extrapulate (word usage intentional.. i like this word).. imagergy that keeps rewarding me.. keeping me moving, my emotional state.. solid.. meaningful imagery.. language.. it's all ok..
i think i might change the tune now.
_________________________________
(E06)
kind of tired...
very similar to normal tired.. trying to find a perfect circle on a torrent search.. i lost that cd awhile back.. thirteenth step.. kinda wanna listen to it... mushrooms..
visuals.. are there.. not really main element right now.. saw double layering.. see auric visuals around most everything i look at.. mainly people..
auditory.. wider.. able to listen easy.. empathize.. understand.. just listen.. take in the flow..
__________________________
(E07)
(t+5 hrs)
I think i must've fallen asleep at some point.. i was out in the sun for quite some time today... just being..
It was all pretty nice, worked through some emotion that's been trying to get out.. trying to manifest itself.. strengthen..
Life is all but one harmony, impulse and reaction, refraction...
I feel renewed, despite having sunburn.
I really just feel like going to arby's right now, and picking up some food.. I might write more later..
The trip manifested itself as what it's purpose was to be. To get through. to live.. I guess..
Throughout it all.. i witnessed synchronicity at ALL TIMES... songs played would match thought process prior to or immediate experience.
i will try to write more later.. good day to all..
__________
( E0 8 )
(T+6:00 hrs, somewhat baseline, afterglow and meditative state pronounced.. jaw pain slight, not significant unless driving, tmj sucks... tension was released through conversation with roommate, too much unneeded tension was growing.. all year.. with both of us.. i just wanted to let him know.. that it's over, and in that.. understanding was gained somewhat.. a good day)
i guess that concludes this report, as i am exhausted... i faced my enemy once again, which manifested itself in my roommate... gained some understanding, helped me accept him more, and myself as well... and i think he accepts me a little more too, even though his words deny it.. i know i hit a couple common nerves with him..
made peace, i guess is all you can say.. we're still not the same as we were before, we just know that it was all a lie in the first place.
Life has been changing quite rapidly in the late, for me. I actually feel like i'm going somewhere..
damn.. i wish i had the energy to stay up and enjoy the rest of the sun.. but i feel a nap is more needed than another hour soaking in the rays... sometimes we need to just let go.. hang up, i guess...
that's one thing i'm learning, i think.
anyways.. i hope everyone had a good day, this april the 7th...
gracious, ultimatum, blah blah.. hmm.. yep.. time for a three hr nap for my conscious.
_________
------I wrote this small segment about 2 hrs after ingestion maybe.. i have no idea really.. somewhere around then.. it is on notebook paper...
The Song is a Mystery
Powdered up in Misery
Not knowing, Never know
I guess I believe sometimes...
_________
yeah i had a whole train of lyrics flush in my head.. leading off from that.. but i couldn't keep on that track long enough to record anything
at roughly 10:45 am i ingested about 1.4-.7 grams of some pretty high potency mushrooms.
I could ingest some remeron to increase effects of psilocybin in my body, as it usually provides for a pretty deep and penetrating experience, although more dreamy, a little less push, just genuine effects that you would call mushrooms.
Remeron also helps to fight anxiety. Sometimes I take half a pill while shrooming.... to both lengthen, and deepen, as well as sometimes helping me to make 'sense' of alot of things..
ever since trying the combination once, unknowingly, i experienced a clarity for sustainable periods of time, where i could focus on something.. such as moving clouds in the sky, say as an overlay, with the moon behind. If I held a feeling.. somehow, someway, the movement in the clouds seemed to stop.. for up to 10 seconds it felt one time. the time dilation was extremely emmense in these instants..
I felt some kind of energy from the moon. My posture became automatic, natural. My jaw was hanging open, no tension, my body was ape like, not more so like ape, as human, but a more relaxed human posture, arms dangling, head up and body perfectly facing the moon.
I felt in this time, the truest feeling i'd felt in awhile.. well. i wouldn't call it that.. but it was a definate call.. This night, I also recognized the overall breaths of nature, how they all work off each other as waves... to create an entirely larger wave.
I began to just understand nature.. it was so simple.. so loving.. . . . . beautiful...
repeated fractal reactions in my mind manifested as OEVs as well as CEVs displayed the femenine lips... well.. just lips i guess.. but i felt female attraction.. i was completely in love.. with whatever was happening..
felt touched by the truth of everything, god, nature, whatever the name we call it.
__________________
Today the sun is out brightly.. i must return to the outside.. . . . for it is very nice outside today.. around 70 something it feels.
I will update with edits, and change the parenthesized (E01) to E02, meaning entry 2.
it is now t+30 minutes.. I'm a bit stoned, maybe feeling moreso.
my mind seems clear, and I just ingested about 5 mg remeron to add that flavor i'm finding useful.
good day everyone
_________________________
T+ 50 mins or so; 11 40 am (E02)
been doing circular movements of the arms.. trying to find my centerfuge.. if that makes any sense.. basically trying to find where all my inertia is going.. and just let it go...
and i'm not really even doing anything.. just letting it happen..
listening to live versions of a couple tool songs.. the drum beats are very liberating
had an 'outside' reflection in the mirror.. felt like i was seeing myself from anothers eyes..
I like to play with the hemispheres while taking mushrooms..
remeron seems to make this process more fluid.. easy to do..
you can try it to...
look in the mirror.. look at yourself.. with your head tilted.. with right eye tilted more into focus and it being dominant.. then tilt your head the other direction.. and let you left eye come out...
I don't know.. just kinda interesting.. dunno if it works for anyone else, i used quite a bit of subliminal control (suggestion?) to acheive understanding of right brain/left brain laterality, dunno if that is the right word.. but oh well..
just research to mine own..
now i must go outside again...
definately feeling more than stoned... that's all i will say right now.
____________________________________________________
(E03)
(t+70 mins or so?)
you can only tell a person so much, if a person comes to you with a question regarding their own path, presenting you with previor course maybe, or desired destination, you can only point them the direction you know.. they don't want to know your life story, that only complicates their own.. they're on a journy, for something..
they want to figure it out for themselves, they just asked you to point the finger, they do their own math.....
____________________________________________________
(E04)
(t+85 mins or so)
talking to a friend.. said the sun is nice today... that is awesome outside..
right as i said the sun is nice, something common, he replys back.. as well as the music, tools revision of no quarter, it sang, the sun beats down don't ya know.
just observing some nice synchronicity
colors are more vibrant, if that's what i pay attention to.. it seems like wherever my attention goes, so does my mind... myself, i feel rhythems at times.. plasma trail like, intense spectrums, auric, all around, inside me, me... the outside..
just imagination.. but just trying to pay attention to what this low dosage can show me...
i'm tired of the tour.. this is enough to unlock the door
____________________________________________________
(E05)
t+95 mins
undesired factor in equation arrived, roommate, conflict, yet i understand him.. i understand his hatred for me as well as my own disliking for him at this time..
time......
over time....
we learn to fade and bring foward.
i faded too long, let way.. let be.. tried to keep the peace.. tried to investigate the reasons, when they've been digging down deep inside all my life.. i just haven't let them go.. i need this..
objective reality creates some pretty bad probabilities..
bad.. heh
...
tis only fuel
ok.. i guess this might be the peak.. mind is able to extrapulate (word usage intentional.. i like this word).. imagergy that keeps rewarding me.. keeping me moving, my emotional state.. solid.. meaningful imagery.. language.. it's all ok..
i think i might change the tune now.
_________________________________
(E06)
kind of tired...
very similar to normal tired.. trying to find a perfect circle on a torrent search.. i lost that cd awhile back.. thirteenth step.. kinda wanna listen to it... mushrooms..
visuals.. are there.. not really main element right now.. saw double layering.. see auric visuals around most everything i look at.. mainly people..
auditory.. wider.. able to listen easy.. empathize.. understand.. just listen.. take in the flow..
__________________________
(E07)
(t+5 hrs)
I think i must've fallen asleep at some point.. i was out in the sun for quite some time today... just being..
It was all pretty nice, worked through some emotion that's been trying to get out.. trying to manifest itself.. strengthen..
Life is all but one harmony, impulse and reaction, refraction...
I feel renewed, despite having sunburn.
I really just feel like going to arby's right now, and picking up some food.. I might write more later..
The trip manifested itself as what it's purpose was to be. To get through. to live.. I guess..
Throughout it all.. i witnessed synchronicity at ALL TIMES... songs played would match thought process prior to or immediate experience.
i will try to write more later.. good day to all..
__________
( E0 8 )
(T+6:00 hrs, somewhat baseline, afterglow and meditative state pronounced.. jaw pain slight, not significant unless driving, tmj sucks... tension was released through conversation with roommate, too much unneeded tension was growing.. all year.. with both of us.. i just wanted to let him know.. that it's over, and in that.. understanding was gained somewhat.. a good day)
i guess that concludes this report, as i am exhausted... i faced my enemy once again, which manifested itself in my roommate... gained some understanding, helped me accept him more, and myself as well... and i think he accepts me a little more too, even though his words deny it.. i know i hit a couple common nerves with him..
made peace, i guess is all you can say.. we're still not the same as we were before, we just know that it was all a lie in the first place.
Life has been changing quite rapidly in the late, for me. I actually feel like i'm going somewhere..
damn.. i wish i had the energy to stay up and enjoy the rest of the sun.. but i feel a nap is more needed than another hour soaking in the rays... sometimes we need to just let go.. hang up, i guess...
that's one thing i'm learning, i think.
anyways.. i hope everyone had a good day, this april the 7th...
gracious, ultimatum, blah blah.. hmm.. yep.. time for a three hr nap for my conscious.
_________
------I wrote this small segment about 2 hrs after ingestion maybe.. i have no idea really.. somewhere around then.. it is on notebook paper...
The Song is a Mystery
Powdered up in Misery
Not knowing, Never know
I guess I believe sometimes...
_________
yeah i had a whole train of lyrics flush in my head.. leading off from that.. but i couldn't keep on that track long enough to record anything
Last edited:
