Multiple SS episodes - Years of fallout.

[Drum]

So after years of self-suffering, I have decided to reach out and hopefully find some connection and answers to my issues.


December 2010-March 2011 - 4 months 4mmc usage - 1-2g per weekend
April 2011-June 2011 - Nothing
June 2011 - September 2011 - 1-2 per weekend B2/JGG (tested one batch as 4mmc)
September 2011- May 2012 - Nothing
May 2012 -1g 'Spirit RC chem'
May 2012-october 2012 - Nothing
Nov 2012-Decemb 2012 - 2g 3mmc
Decemb 2012- November 2013 - nothing
noveb 2013-december 2013 - 3g 4FA
December 2012- July 2015 NOTHING.
-----------------

Nov 2012-Dec 2012 - 2g 3mmc (EXPERIENCED Serotonin syndrome)
STOPPED ALL USE
Nov 2013-Dec 2013 - 3g 4Fa ( Experienced Serotonin Syndrome)
STOPPED ALL USE TO THIS DATE

As you can see, my above drug history. It was great until September 2011 and the active 4mmc/b2/JJg ran out. I came off all chemicals and struggled majorly with cravings. Nov 2012 I gave into my cravings due to many personal issues. Upon the second medium dosage of 3mmc I experienced untoward side effects, stupidly in the wrong mindset I continued dosages and ultimately led to what i believe is serotonin syndrome. Same again in November 2013, after a year break, after my second dosage I experienced symptoms of serotonin syndrome.

Since December 2013 I have experienced total withdraw of ANY emotion. Complete inability to experience sadness, happiness, joy, thrill, laughter, excitement, lust, sexual desire. I only go through the motions of living each day in hoping that tomorrow, next week, next month or next year is better and an improvement, unfortunately after 3 years of this thinking I realize that there is not going to be any improvement.

Sudden onset of my claimed 'serotonin syndrome' from both occasions.


-Suddenly gone from 'high' to 'sober' like my body went into an 'emergency reboot' or I got a shot of adrenaline 60 seconds after second dosage.
- Felt extremely hot, needed fan blowing on me.
- Skin was DEEP HOT red flushed and hot to touch, but I was REALLY PHYSICALLY shivering cold.
- Vascoconstriction in hands, arms and legs.
- Had severe stomach rumbling and cramps which lasted 2 hrs +
- Severe confusion and brain fog, felt 'mongged out' - when normally on these stims I felt 'stimulated' and 'focused' - I would try to think or concentrate and my brain would 'churn' over.
- Severe worrying heart rate
- Severe sweating
-Severe eye movement into back of head
-Complete loss of em-pathogenic effects, felt SOBER
- Leg spasms and involuntary leg jerking and severe cramps (lasted 2hrs +)

-SERIOUS LOSS OF TIME PASSAGE AND SENSATION
- 2 Minutes felt like 30 minutes real time
- 30 minutes real time felt like 2 minutes
Extremely worrying and scary.

-Hallucination - faces morphing into trolls faces etc.


Severe 'raised/3d' tiger stripe rashes on my neck, shoulders, upper back, upper arms, chest.

Since them I have experienced as stated above total withdraw of ANY emotion. Complete inability to experience sadness, happiness, joy, thrill, laughter, excitement, lust, sexual desire. I only go through the motions of living each day in hoping that tomorrow, next week, next month or next year is better and an improvement, unfortunately after 3 years of this thinking I realize that there is not going to be any improvement.

Did I have two episodes of SS in a two year period ?

When Will I recover ? its been 18 months... during my empty low periods, I still crave that raw sexual drive that cathoines give me, but i remember the horrible SS episodes and side effects and that is enough to kill the obsession to re-visit them.

 

[Drum]

No comments on what I experienced during two separate 'sessions' which were a whole 12 months apart ?

 

[daytryptr]

I dont think that's serotonin syndrome. If it was you prob would have been hospitalized. And ss usually occurs when you combine serotonin releasing and reuptake inhibiting drugs, not just from one drug alone.

It just sounds like you way over did it, and are expirencing the side effects from doing so, but IMHO that's not serotonin syndrome. Its just what happens when you abuse the fuck out of stims, not to mention stims that effect serotonin like the ones you were using.

Jusry my 2c

 

[Drum]

Fair enough,

I just found it extreme that on both occasions the onset was immediate after only a second moderate dosage.

 

[herbavore]

So, have you cut out usage altogether?

 

[Drum]

I've touched nothing since December 2013 which is great achievement for me, as you can see from my history I usually relapsed after 6-8 months.

 

[herbavore]

Have you been thoroughly checked out by a doctor? It really does sound like you are experiencing severe depression tbh. Depression for me has been characterized by a lack of emotion, lack of libido, and a sense of fatalism (this will never change). I hate medications so I have chosen to go the long, slow road of trying to change my thinking (starting with a rational challenge to the fatalism) and it's working for me. Have you done any kind of counseling at all?