YonderThunder
Greenlighter
Hey all,
So apart from the fact that It took me 20 odd minutes to be able to navigate this awkward as hell site I'm finally here.
Inspired by a thread I read whilst researching something via Google I ended up finding myself highly unsatisfied by the responses given to a rather good Forum / article / post. So straight away I will say... If you want to wage in please do but not responses like;
Your Gay, That's gay, Never done that, Sounds strange, Your bi / curious etc etc. I require substance, insight and honesty.
So Here we go!
I am a 24, male, that has been finding his way in the world seeking to develop on a personal level. I motivate others around me as well as stay very true to myself. I am to the outside world and for all intensive purposes a heterosexual man and if I don't understand something I will seek out answers I.E here or something similar.
So it all boils down to one thing sexuality as well as preference change particularly during recreational drug use (Uppers).
From a young age I have been aware that maybe its not just woman on my radar, I certainly have 'experimented' in the past, (How long can one say there experimenting though?
Throughout my teens and even younger I have indulged with sex with other men. I remember playing with school friends from as young as primary age. Thinking back wondering it may have been a phase - Bloody long 'Phase'. I'm not attracted to men I believe that it is a purely sexual, physical experience for me with no emotional connection whatsoever (Maybe once I could have gone further). I have never ever once turned my head in the street for a man thinking "Oow he's fit" Never. I don't view men like that at all, day to day.
Woman on the other hand, there is absolutely no denying my attraction to them.
But.... I am certainly attracted to a nice looking penis, I used to watch a lot of gay porn, (80% consumption maybe), With each year that has gone by I have watched less and less almost to none at all now, but yet the idea of being with a man I still find arousing. I have moments where I just want men to be inside me.
I'm only interested in taking not giving anally because I don't see the point, I sleep with woman so.. Why would I top guys too. I like the taboo, the physical, the fact its different I am attracted to the idea of being gay. Sometimes even whiling it. Yet I can no longer overcome some kind of block that I know I have which means I enjoy the build up and what not but rarely take it past that now. It annoys me even because I want to finally say yes I like it or no I dont. I am unfortunate Im still unsure.
My want to be into guys particularly when taking drugs, I become unrealistically uninhibited. In the past - almost without fail, 95% of the time after a sexual encounter with a man I loss all sort of emotion, once I cum then it is over.I am seriously not interested afterwards, also I kind of get this feeling of disgust come over me. (Very confusing but I understand everyone goes through this gay or not). Basically I think the feelings I had were unsupported coupled with borderline physiologically abusive from my family about it so my views on whats Normal" and not have been distorted slightly. Yet I would find it easier to engage as a teen / acted to the idea more. Now its not so straight forward. Each time I required some form of aid.. Drugs. Drugs really make it easy.
I am extremely particular with guys too more so than woman.
They must have a cock that I find appealing, its a must, No body hair or next to none. Hair is a turn off, I think its because I am not use to it.
Clean cut jock types with nice cocks is the idea for me to even consider anything.
So I am massively into many taboo subjects around sex so men is just one of a list. Woman peeing, pegging also Transwoman hugely turns me on (Feminine). Very recently started wearing my gf's thongs, we havent been together long so tend to still hide it but she knows, doesnt seem to care tbc, its pretty cool. I only ever do that whilst under influence of drugs Underwear comes out only when on something.
I like different I guess lol. I also feel that recently, very recently, its come to my attention that if a woman was present and getting turned on by watching me have sex with a man then I would get super aroused and want it even more. Maybe an acceptance thing there - I'm not sure! I feel that if a woman was forcing it so then I would be really aroused. If I were to be made to say Swallow a mans cum by a woman - I think it would it would to do and woman who like this kind of thing turns me on a lot.
(Views on this also welcome, Male or female veiws of all orientation, I realise that woman like this kind of thing a lot so research suggests, Anyone else out there feeling the same? let me know, I know that I am not alone).
Drugs I feel massively increases my sexual desires and its sad because I want to / need to find a way to get to this heightened level without being dependent on something like that... Can it be done?
Its about the drugs as much as a personal acceptance of what I have learnt about myself in the last 24 years.
Its about that feeling of emotional nothing after I cum... Could I lay cuddling a man after sex? ahaha, probably not but hey if I didn't move house when I did there could have been a man I did feel a little comfortable with.
I remember distinctively having one of the best sexual experiences of my life in the front of a car, parked up under cover of darkness with a guy who took me to a gay bar out of town. On the way back home we pulled over and well things happened... If anyone wants to hear that story... Message me lol. :D.
I also have had a woman do Watersports over me and via versa in a hotel room that was one of my absolute favorite and hottest experiences of my life. Also being fucked by woman. I have a few go to experiences he is one of them.
If you have actually made it to the end of this then bloody well done you deserve a Medal lol.
Kik Messenger - Leigh_James92 (Useful app to reply if not on here - More direct!).
Thanks for reading x
So apart from the fact that It took me 20 odd minutes to be able to navigate this awkward as hell site I'm finally here.
Inspired by a thread I read whilst researching something via Google I ended up finding myself highly unsatisfied by the responses given to a rather good Forum / article / post. So straight away I will say... If you want to wage in please do but not responses like;
Your Gay, That's gay, Never done that, Sounds strange, Your bi / curious etc etc. I require substance, insight and honesty.
So Here we go!
I am a 24, male, that has been finding his way in the world seeking to develop on a personal level. I motivate others around me as well as stay very true to myself. I am to the outside world and for all intensive purposes a heterosexual man and if I don't understand something I will seek out answers I.E here or something similar.
So it all boils down to one thing sexuality as well as preference change particularly during recreational drug use (Uppers).
From a young age I have been aware that maybe its not just woman on my radar, I certainly have 'experimented' in the past, (How long can one say there experimenting though?
Throughout my teens and even younger I have indulged with sex with other men. I remember playing with school friends from as young as primary age. Thinking back wondering it may have been a phase - Bloody long 'Phase'. I'm not attracted to men I believe that it is a purely sexual, physical experience for me with no emotional connection whatsoever (Maybe once I could have gone further). I have never ever once turned my head in the street for a man thinking "Oow he's fit" Never. I don't view men like that at all, day to day.
Woman on the other hand, there is absolutely no denying my attraction to them.
But.... I am certainly attracted to a nice looking penis, I used to watch a lot of gay porn, (80% consumption maybe), With each year that has gone by I have watched less and less almost to none at all now, but yet the idea of being with a man I still find arousing. I have moments where I just want men to be inside me.
I'm only interested in taking not giving anally because I don't see the point, I sleep with woman so.. Why would I top guys too. I like the taboo, the physical, the fact its different I am attracted to the idea of being gay. Sometimes even whiling it. Yet I can no longer overcome some kind of block that I know I have which means I enjoy the build up and what not but rarely take it past that now. It annoys me even because I want to finally say yes I like it or no I dont. I am unfortunate Im still unsure.
My want to be into guys particularly when taking drugs, I become unrealistically uninhibited. In the past - almost without fail, 95% of the time after a sexual encounter with a man I loss all sort of emotion, once I cum then it is over.I am seriously not interested afterwards, also I kind of get this feeling of disgust come over me. (Very confusing but I understand everyone goes through this gay or not). Basically I think the feelings I had were unsupported coupled with borderline physiologically abusive from my family about it so my views on whats Normal" and not have been distorted slightly. Yet I would find it easier to engage as a teen / acted to the idea more. Now its not so straight forward. Each time I required some form of aid.. Drugs. Drugs really make it easy.
I am extremely particular with guys too more so than woman.
They must have a cock that I find appealing, its a must, No body hair or next to none. Hair is a turn off, I think its because I am not use to it.
Clean cut jock types with nice cocks is the idea for me to even consider anything.
So I am massively into many taboo subjects around sex so men is just one of a list. Woman peeing, pegging also Transwoman hugely turns me on (Feminine). Very recently started wearing my gf's thongs, we havent been together long so tend to still hide it but she knows, doesnt seem to care tbc, its pretty cool. I only ever do that whilst under influence of drugs Underwear comes out only when on something.
I like different I guess lol. I also feel that recently, very recently, its come to my attention that if a woman was present and getting turned on by watching me have sex with a man then I would get super aroused and want it even more. Maybe an acceptance thing there - I'm not sure! I feel that if a woman was forcing it so then I would be really aroused. If I were to be made to say Swallow a mans cum by a woman - I think it would it would to do and woman who like this kind of thing turns me on a lot.
(Views on this also welcome, Male or female veiws of all orientation, I realise that woman like this kind of thing a lot so research suggests, Anyone else out there feeling the same? let me know, I know that I am not alone).
Drugs I feel massively increases my sexual desires and its sad because I want to / need to find a way to get to this heightened level without being dependent on something like that... Can it be done?
Its about the drugs as much as a personal acceptance of what I have learnt about myself in the last 24 years.
Its about that feeling of emotional nothing after I cum... Could I lay cuddling a man after sex? ahaha, probably not but hey if I didn't move house when I did there could have been a man I did feel a little comfortable with.
I remember distinctively having one of the best sexual experiences of my life in the front of a car, parked up under cover of darkness with a guy who took me to a gay bar out of town. On the way back home we pulled over and well things happened... If anyone wants to hear that story... Message me lol. :D.
I also have had a woman do Watersports over me and via versa in a hotel room that was one of my absolute favorite and hottest experiences of my life. Also being fucked by woman. I have a few go to experiences he is one of them.
If you have actually made it to the end of this then bloody well done you deserve a Medal lol.
Kik Messenger - Leigh_James92 (Useful app to reply if not on here - More direct!).
Thanks for reading x
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