Moving Back Home

[malakaix]

I wasn't sure where to post this, it seemed to serious for SO.. if it doesn't fit here feel free to move it.

Who's done this, how long was it for.. did you find it difficult or easy?

I have recently found myself in a situation where my best option would be to move back home, i've been living out of home for almost 3 years now.. when i initially moved out it was for the pursuit of more responsibility, my mother was very over-protective of me when i was younger heading into my teenage years and i had virtually no life experience because i never had to take responsibility for anything.

Once i became interested in the drug scene during my late teen's i knew i needed to move out, there was a whole different world out there and it was going to be impossible to fully experience while under the authority of my parents.

During those 3 years i was completely self-sufficient, i never borrowed a cent from my parents.. for me it was a sense of pride, that i was able to take care of myself and live my life without their help, i matured alot over the years of living out of home with various people.. i did some traveling, had a few relationships, met people of all different walks of life and learnt a great deal about myself.

Now at 22, circumstances have arisen where my current housemates are moving out, one of them is traveling around Australia and the other is moving elsewhere. I had the decision to move in with my older cousins, or move back home, i decided on moving back home in order to save money.. friends of mine are heading over to Europe soon for a couple of months and i didn't want to pass up the opportunity.

I'm panicking though, for 3 years i've been this independent person.. and now im moving back into an environment where i can't help but feel like a child again, when i initially left there was still alot of angst and frustration towards my mother which was reflective of who i was back then.

I feel in order to move on, i need to resolve what i left behind 3 years ago and this may be my opportunity to do so, it's as though life has cycled back in on itself.. i'm back at the beginning and it scares the shit out of me, but i suppose the manner in which i handle this will determine my strength of character.

 

[molly897]

i moved out when i was 18, got married at 19, moved to NY from FL, moved back a few months ago, and it was complete and total hell. i hated my mother also when i left and seeing her again i tried gving her the benefit of the doubt that she's just retarded and will never understand my POV of anything so i tried dealing with it. unfortunately she tried splitting my husband and i up because she's wanted me back for the past two years.

i told my mom to leave everything in the past and she agreed but it didn't happen. i wish you better luck than i had working things out, the best advice i can give you is to avoid those who either enable you or frustrate you. whether it's old friends or your mom. i had to leave that state within a month cause i relapsed

 

[psychohedonist]

I did it, about the same age - went to Uni and ended up flat broke, so went back home for what I thought would be a few months, and ended up stuck for years.

I wish I'd handled it better at the time but I was young, fucked up, and desperate and angry. And I took it out on my folks, which I often regret because they're both gone now.

If you know you're heading into negative territory, check the roadmap again, look at all the alternatives - if it's for a short while it might work, but don't get stuck.

 

[ocean]

Well, you're 22, I'm 30 and living back home :D
Moving back as an adult is very very different than living at home as a teenager.
For me, it was my best option......and its turned out to be a great experience.
I'm getting to know my parents again and especially my father-
My father and I had a strained relationship most of my life- never really living together for much time, but we get along well now, and are getting to know the real us
Over all I feel its an incredible opportunity for which I am truly grateful.
I'll be able to save up some money once I get pay checks coming in, so when I'm ready to move out on my own again, I can do so with a cushion.
My parents and I will have a closer relationship

It isn't what you WANT to do usually- but once done, you will find it isn't so terrible and actually can be beneficial, depending on the situation.

Good Luck- let us know what happens, how you adjust and all that stuff!

 

[The Chemist]

I moved back after living with a g/f for about 2 years, it's good and bad but that's to be expected.

My stepfather claims i'm "disrupting the delicate balance" here--this coming from an alcoholic who works a 5-1pm shift, makes dinner occasionally, but does no housework or lawn work.

My mother appreciates it a lot, she has Stage 4 terminal Bone Cancer, and cannot do laundry, vacuum, or even put away dishes.

Together they have a 5 year old son (my half-brother) and my mom gets him ready for school, i take care of him when he gets home.

I like living here mostly because i know i'm helping my mother out since she can do so little. i appreciate the fact that my step dad is paying most of the bills, but wish he'd get off his goddamn ass and do some fucking work around here.

All in all it's not too terrible, it's helping me save some dough up.

 

[Bojangles69]

Well I didn't ever really "move out" I was torn out of my parents house when I was 19 by a gang of DEA agents and thrown in prison.
I was also rather sheltered prior to that experience so prison was a huge turning point as far as independence/survival goes. I learned more about myself and life in general in those 2 years behind the wall then I have my entire life.

Got out right before my 22 b-day. Moved back home for 4 years for parole.
Worked full time, payed bills, stayed clean, did rather good at the time.

Somehow wound up trying opiates and experiencing a nod for the first time in my life. I was always into speed at an earlier age (16-19) but opiates were totally different. It was right at the end of parole and I became addicted quick. Got off parole and the addiction worsened.

Went another year and had a mental break down trying to quit on my own. Tried killing myself during a ailed cold turkey attempt. Went to psychward, was faced with doing rehab all over again from step 1.
Wound up moving out of my parents home and in with my straight edge brothers who promised my parents that they'd keep me clean lol.
Said "eff that shit" I had already done enough rehab in my life, "I'm doing this on my own this time". Got out of detox, no NA, no rehab, managed to stay clean for a very long unproductive year living with my brothers.

Then had to move again as my brother GF was moving in. Me and my middle brother got a house to stay. Have been here now 2 years. Still addicted to opiates (relapsed right before I moved I'm bad with handling stress like that) am 28 now. Have very little to nothing to show for myself.

Life has been interesting, but at other times I don't even feel like life has even begun.
Once I finally accept that drug addiction is a true medical illness, and that I suffer from it, and choose to embrace rehab/NA long term... then my life will begin. As of now it just feels on pause.

But as far as moving back home I would never mind that. I get along with my parents great. They don't accept my drug use but I've always been rather good at hiding it.. well for the most part.

 

[psytaco]

I moved back for 7 months so I can save money for a trip overseas. Also, when I first moved in I was depressed and alot of that had to do with living with people where there was always conflict. once I moved back home the depression stopped. I'm 25 and have been living out of home since I was 18. Its 5 months in, and its not too bad.

I think alot of it depends on how well you get on with your parents. If you have a bad relationship with them then I wouldn't recommend moving back. Is your mother still over protective of you or now that your an adult will she pretty much leave you to do your own thing?

i live with my mum and sister and my sisters baby. sometimes me and my mother fight and she hassles me about stuff or nags, but on the whole we get along well.

there are certainly times when I get frustrated and annoyed with the situation, particularly when I had just moved back in. but I find it takes a few months to get a feel of living back home again and get used to your family's quirks.

If you can still have friends over, stay up late, go out, and be left to your own devices, it isn't that bad.

You will save alot of money.

Just try not to stay there for too long. I am excited that I only have to stay here for less than 2 months.