Motivation

[cyberius]

Motivation
I always tell people I'm cleaning up, it's desperate to believe it because I never meant it. I love meth, its well - everything. I never really wanted to quit until now. My girlfriend and I's six year anniversery is today and my god she must love me more then I love crystal meth to put up with me. It hit me that I really do have a pretty significant influence on the lives around me and selling my soul to satan rips apart my loved ones.

I finally want to get better.

Problem is, I think about meth 24/7. The cravings supersede everything else but my conscious desire not to harm those around me anymore. I've concluded that meth is a bitch to get away from because of the duration of psychological fallout and potential neurotoxicity users may face during recovery. Can you guys provide some resources to help me manage rebuilding my life and riding this shred of motivation out?

 

[Ozekat]

I've had to throw in the towel and move away. Away from the dope, away from being somewhere where it is physically easy to get.

Dude, I get it. I feel the same way about meth. It is such a bitch. Nomatter how bad the last crash may have been the lure of the initial rush off dopamine and every other feel good chemical that it pulls out of from deep in our brains I crave to feel that again.

What has helped me is getting super, amazingly passionately involved in OTHER SHIT that is not drugs.

It takes SO MUCH fucking discipline and for us it's not like we can sit and say well at least we aren't on H bc they seem to have it worse.

Meth just feels so fucking good. Really, it makes us feel way better than we ever should have EVER felt to begin with. Because it pulls out so much dopamine.

So, the question is...what else out there in in this world can pull enough dopmaibe and satisfy us enough to forget about the meth for long enough to just, simply forget about it.....when I can tell forget about meth I am in a GREAT place but lately, I'm afraid....it's always there on the back burner.

I wish I never had that first snort.

 

[cyberius]

Theres a 1/20 chance I can beat this, bout an 1/8 chance if I went to rehab. Im about to just get a ball, that is so unnerving

 

[cj]

I knew someone who got his doctor to prescribe Adderall as a kind of maintenance for meth use. It actually worked really well for him. Maybe look into that.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

What else do you have going on in life? It sounds like your intellectual mind needs something to keep itself occupied with.

Methamphetamine is a very intense obsession. I write extensively about this. Most of my dreams involve using meth, though I find it incredibly easy to stay away from (walked by an open market and kept going). Kind of weird. I think if I had an addiction to it, it would be the end of me, because of how much one can become obsessed with it.

The last time I had half a gram, it lasted me 2 weeks. What good do you think will come out of getting a whole 3.5g? How long would that last you?

 

[Mafioso]

Like CH said, having other things in life to focus on and strive towards can help tremendously. It's easy to ignore all the negative aspects of drug use when we are deeply involved in drug culture/getting high is the primary focus of life. When you start seriously trying to do other things often times drug use only inhibits your ability and focus on whatever it might be you are trying to accomplish. Drug use takes up a lot of time, effort and focus that could be spent doing something productive- or even just not being destructive... Things like body building/working out, playing music, going to school or a job that you enjoy can be good alternative activities. It's not that you can't use drugs and do most of those things, but in the long run using drugs will likely slow you down or distract you from the path.

Personally I found it really helpful to think about both positive and negative aspects of my drug use when faced with cravings. It's easy to assume that getting high might solve your problems like boredom or loneliness, or whatever it might be, but if you stop and take a step back and really consider not just the high but also the low/comedown/side effects to the drug then I find that it loses a lot of appeal. Yes getting high might feel good but you also have to deal with the side effects/come down.

 

[Ozekat]

Wow, captain heroin and cj, even mafioso those are some great postive and uplifting posts dealing with meth addiction I've seen on these boards in a long time.

If I could get on fucking Addie's I'd do it in a heartbeat. I can sleep on Addie I can function on Addie (keep doses low) and it helps 'get my kicks out' without ruining an entire week or two.

I think a lot can be said for the amount of meth one uses can ultimately be their downfall I've never actually intention used it sparingly.


A lot to think about.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Any amount of amphetamines/meth is going to inevitably cause craving for more, especially someone who finds it "problematic". With that being said, I found very little desire to take dexedrine/adderall, so perhaps it can work as "maintenance", but I wouldn't advise it.

It's best to try to get away from any form of amphetamines, and anyone who uses it for a long period of time.

 

[motiv311]

Eventually you will be like me and it won't even get you high and you'll just feel like shit. Can go through an 8 ball in 6-7 days just to go to work and function. I can sleep on it too. I don't have to have it and spend months without it at all but I must have at lease an opiate to function. I don't even come down anymore from speed

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Eventually you will be like me and it won't even get you high and you'll just feel like shit. Can go through an 8 ball in 6-7 days just to go to work and function. I can sleep on it too. I don't have to have it and spend months without it at all but I must have at lease an opiate to function. I don't even come down anymore from speed

Honestly as much as I enjoyed being on it, it felt good at some point to get clean, and eat and sleep again, I guess because I had been doing close to no eating or sleeping for so long? I can't imagine a "withdrawal" from speed, though I have heard (Sweet P for instance) from users that it does exist for the larger-habit users.

Please, please, please be safe guys. You can still stroke out or have a heart attack from an overdose.

 

[Ozekat]

Wow motiv, that is fucked up!! You don't even come down man that's crazy.

I can relate to " it doesn't even get you high and you just feel like shit" hell, that happens quickly even from small, small amounts if you keep re-dosing repeatedly in the same window of time. This happened to me back in January even with small breaks (3 - 5 days) it just like accumulates in the brain or something and doesn't really do shit after awhile. Until you take a long break again.

I'll be totally honest I do feel better about my situation now in terms of meth addiction than I ever have. It is losing it's appeal over time. It has been 5 years and it is just boring mostly anymore once I lock in to that hard tweak I actually become quite bored fast, even moreso than when I'm sober or at least not on amps.

Slowly, I am getting so dissatisfied with it altogether...and I am ok with that.

 

[motiv311]

quitting speed is WAY different than quitting a heroin or opiate addiction..... Its way more psychological , and way less physical .... it fucks with you in a totally different way. Speed addicts are like "but I WANT it!!!" and heroin addicts are like " Mother fucker i NEED this!" ..... not to say one is more or less controlling. I think every time I quit doing meth, it shows up in my dreams like 3 weeks later, and I start romanticising that FIRST high again without thinking through the consequences.

The first 3-4 days, you might get a whole lot of shit taken care of, be it work or errands, or hobbies whatever, but in the long term its gonna cost you more ... be it health issues, or just issues with having to do with the manic mode you've found yourself in. Relationships suffer the most, cause no one can predict what sort of mood or state you'll be in when they see you again... you WILL LOSE girlfriends, wives, etc.... Your dick WILL NOT work the way its supposed too.... Your face will change size/shapes, and your muscles (if you have them) will melt off your bones....

the more you see these facts and understand them, the less you will want to do meth.... its very difficult to harness the energy from it in a positive light/way.... maybe if you're a famous songwriter or writer of books you could eek out a new idea under the influence but for regular joes, its just not worth the associated risks.