motivation ? :(

[NOTforget]

ive been out off rehab for about 2-3 months now had no problems at all with the drug i was so addicted to weed..
no urge or anything
then i had a fight with my parents
felt really depressed went to docter to get calming pills (benzos)
they did not really help i was sick off it all cancelled all my appointments

the day after still felt bad that i did not care anymore so i went to buy some weed and i took a ridiculous dose psychedelics and benzos with the tought if it turns out bad so be it and i dont mean bad as in a bad trip...(i know this is not responsible but i did not care)
but it was a great experience showed me things and insights yet
i missed the open day of a school i wanted to get into , ive been preparing for this a while and i feel i fucked it all up
feeling so depressed all my motivation is gone
i just wanna leave it all behind and go travel
im feeling like im stuck. the leaving behind and travel thing is sadly something i cant do from today on tomorrow
i dont know what to do i dont wanna go to rehab again for sure
i know there is a way out but i dont got patience
i feel i fucked all up after 3 good months
i dont know what im asking here maybe just some support i dont know

 

[deadendgame]

Yeah. I hear you. Life is really difficult. What do you have to do? Go to school? Going to school is really tough, not that school is hard. It's that studying takes up most of your day leaving you with no downtime. I think this is the problem you're having. At least, this is my problem. I think you should try to cherish and take advantage of as much free time as possible cuz being a student is tough. Not that any of the stuff is hard. It's just the time goes by real fast. Not having motivation? I completely understand. The subjects that you learn in school are extremely boring. There is no other way besides forcing yourself through the boredom.

 

[NOTforget]

Yeah. I hear you. Life is really difficult. What do you have to do? Go to school? Going to school is really tough, not that school is hard. It's that studying takes up most of your day leaving you with no downtime. I think this is the problem you're having. At least, this is my problem. I think you should try to cherish and take advantage of as much free time as possible cuz being a student is tough. Not that any of the stuff is hard. It's just the time goes by real fast. Not having motivation? I completely understand. The subjects that you learn in school are extremely boring. There is no other way besides forcing yourself through the boredom.

im 22 finished school 4 years ago wanted to go back to something that interested me
since im off work for about 8months now
worked 4 years before

i just wonder will it make me happy i think not
fuck this shitty life i wanna leave

 

[Ziiirp]

May I ask what daily dose of weed you smoked ? What weed was it in particular (brand name would be helpful, like "Amnesia Haze" for instance). I'm just curious how one can function and get addicted to weed so heavily. Know a few peeps, that function so well on weed, that it really astonishes me. When I smoke weed I get retarded and sleepy at best and paranoid at worst.

So what was your dose and the particular strain ? Thanks for the info.

Otherwise, to as a tip for releaving your problems I would advice to start running regularly : A runner's high (you get it after running/jogging for a long period, lets say 15 min straight at least) is rumored to be mixture between a weed and an opioid-high, which I would agree to to some extend.