Mother in Law diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer--Prognosis?

[Kittycat5]

Dont worry about it being positive or not, CFC. You are giving a valid different perspective on a terrible situation. Kvsouth may take what you said and decide this may be the way to go.

And sorry for your loss, too CFC. What a terrible disease this is.

 

[CFC]

Thanks Kittycat. Yeah it's a particularly insidious cancer since it's usually only diagnosed after the point at which it's metastasized and become terminal. Meaning most get no more than about 4-6 months at best, and meaning chemo and/or resection of liver or pancreas is inappropriate in almost all cases even though it's often offered (I think moreso out of wanting to give patients some hope). It's very difficult for most to accept that they're going to die in 6 months when right up to that point their health may have been fine...

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I'm sorry to hear this, good luck to her.

 

[lovebeams]

kv, i send thoughts of love, healing, and courage to your family in this difficult time. I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer about 9 years ago. I really relate to what has been said in this thread, and my heart goes out to everyone.

I apologize in advance if my post comes off as tragic or depressing. I agree with alasdairm that none us know your MIL's specific case.

I can really relate to what Barrenian said about shutting off. I could not accept my mom was dying. I wouldn't believe it, up until she was gone. That made it so much worse. She fought HARD. When first diagnosed, my mother tried surgery but they could not operate because it had spread. She did chemo, some form of radiation... idk i forget specifics, i think i blocked a lot out, but she tried EVERYTHING . She didn't really talk about doctor stuff with me but I think they generously gave her something like 1 year after the surgery failed, and she stayed with us for 3. It was a roller coaster.

My mom was a strong person. She was always there for the ones she loved. I think she was holding on for us and it really made me angry with myself. Angry because I felt so helpless and scared but I couldn't even allow myself to feel those things at the time, I had no idea what was going on. It was a really confusing time. All I wanted to do was escape. When what I really needed to do was enjoy our time together and accept the present. I am angry at myself for being so selfish. Unable to cope with her leaving. Not being able to be there for the one person that was always there for me. Not being able to prove to her that I was okay, that she could go and be at peace.

I still get upset thinking about it but I've come to accept that everyone dies. It's hard to remember. Cancer cells forget how to die. If we forget how to die, how are we different? Death is a teacher and it is a very humbling thing to realize. I totally agree with Dixi, celebrate the time we have together.

 

[kvsouth69]

Thank you from the bottm of my heart!

 

[Foreigner]

I don't think shielding you from the truth is helpful, while also keeping in mind that nobody can tell you if your MIL is going to die.

But pancreatic cancer is one of the most virulent, incurable types. It has a high mortality rate, even if the pancreas is removed, because it serves so many functions in the body.

Chemo might work, and radiation. IMO the best potential cures for cancer are diet based. Cancer is an industry these days and most mainstream "treatments" are highly toxic.

 

[cj]

This thread is gut wrenching. I wish all of you the best.

 

[ES22]

I am so sorry...I know how hard this is. May of 2014, a month before my wedding, my Mom was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer with a prognosis of up to 6 months. She was already pretty frail at that time so after much deliberaton decided not to treat it as she didn't want to be sick for what time she had left. She felt fine just very tired but fortunately minimal pain.

We did a lot in those 6 months...a family trip to Universal for the grandkids. We rented a wheel hair to help with all of the walking. We rented a house with a pool so there was lots of R&R too. We also did a color trip in the Fall, and visited her home town and old friends.

We brought hospice in early which I could not recommend more. They were such a godsend...helping with cleaning, a masseuse came once a week and she loved that, drugs dropped off to the house, family support, support for mom, and anything you need. Don't wait...do this early!

The scariest part I remember was not knowing what was going to happen, how much she would suffer, and what life would be like without her. Everyone is different but I can say we were fortunate she had little pain, slept more and had less energy. She pushed hard until the end and it was dignified. It has been over a year and I still miss her every day but every day is a bit easier to get through. Appreciate and make the best of every day a moment...nothing else matters.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

My mother in law has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Stage 4, which has spread to her liver and lungs. Drs say the chemo won't really help, and I know it will just make her sicker. But she's so positive and such a fighter, that she wants to go ahead with it. If there's anyone who can beat this, it would be her from her positive state of mind (which has been proven for recovery). Doctors can't say how much time she has left, but said less than 3% make it a year.

I've been reading some success stories of those with Stage 4 pancreatic 15 years ago and are living and doing fine. I am wondering if any of you have or have known anyone else with the same that succeeded into putting it into remission and what do you think contributed to this? I hate the thought that if this is 100% fatal, that she is going to take chemo which will make her sicker, but she is very optimistic about it (and I really do believe that could help). I know no one can give medical advice (unless you are a doctor), but I am just seeking personal experiences with the same.

I have an idea of what she's going to be going through, as my grandad suffered from esophageal cancer for months before he passed. I am also wondering, if you have had any pass from this, how long did it take and how bad did they suffer? We are going out of town to discuss funeral arrangements tomorrow. As I am typing this my husband showed me a picture of her in her hospital bed with a big smile and thumbs up with a message: Loving my chemo juice!

God I love this woman. She's been like a 2nd mom to me--something I don't hear often of in laws.

Thank you anyone who can contribute to this.

This post is from 4 months ago and I hope she is doing well. My thoughts are with you and your MIL. I don't necessarily hope she is still alive, because I wouldn't want her to be in pain and suffering so I hope that she is well, where ever she may be. All you can do (instead of searching for cures) is just surround her with love and make her remaining stay as comfortable as possible. Best of luck to you and your family. Love heals all.