Speed(Not Exp)+Reefer(Exp)+ LSA(1st Time) - A tunnel to the dark side
To the guys on here that were with me, that helped me through this very bad, albeit brief, place in my life I thank you. Without the good trip sitters I had, I'm not sure what I would have done.
The evening started well enough. We were all in a bright mood, as the evening before I made a run up to a friend that had some MDMA for us. It was going to be my first time and I was really energized. He was, however, upfront that some of the pills weren’t working. Some just contained regular Amphetamines and Ephedrine.
So as a back up plan I had purchased about 8 bags(about 400 seeds) of Morning Glory Seeds and plenty of very, very nice weed. I figured if the X wasn’t working then I could try the MGS to see how it was. I had never done any type of psychedelic before and I was interested in seeing what it was all about.
We gather around 8:00pm, have dinner and pull out the pills for further inspection. The previous evening we had a friend test on of the pills to see if she would roll, and indeed she did not roll. In fact I don’t think she felt much of anything. But we gave it a shot anyway. Two bowls of rice and sausage and down goes the pills. 3 of the 5 of us took them about 8:15, and the wait began. Around 9:00 I feel very speedy, hot and a little lightheaded. I was assured that I was not coming up and the feelings I had were more of speed than of MDMA. There may have been a trace of either MDE or MDA in the pills, but nothing that would allow me to roll.
By 10:00 only one of us was even in a minor roll. I just felt very speedy and the other guy felt pretty much nothing at all. At 10:15 I believed it was safe enough to go ahead and hit the bong. Me and the other guy that wasn’t taking the pills toked up a lot of weed in a short period of time. He agreed to do the MGS as well. He also had never experienced the full effects of MGS but had done shrooms and LSD many times. So I felt safe enough to try.
10:40 we had ground up the 400 seeds in a coffee grinder and placed them in some cookies and cream ice cream. This is by far the best way to take the seeds since I got almost 0 nausea from eating it. The cookies inside the ice cream hid the seed flavor and crunchiness. Also being a bit stoned and having a bad case of the munchies made eating it that much easier. It ended up being about 200 seeds for each of us, and according to the trip reports that was going to give me a mild trip.
11:30 Me and C had waaaay too much pot. Well maybe not for him, but I did. I was blitzed, but wasnt feeling the effects of the MGS as of yet. This is the part where a little light inside my head should have told me stop the pot, wait for the seeds to kick in. See I have a pretty good case of anxiety disorder when I'm not taking drugs, so the stage was being set for something I will regret for a long time.
12:00 Stoned off my ass, still feeling the effects of the speed I began to notice something different in my vision. Something I'd never seen before on any type of drug. The colors of the room began to almost glow a reddish hue, and the objects of the room became very pronounced. Nothing horrid, but definitely something was changing. Little did I know what was about to take place in the next 30 minutes would profoundly affect me.
12:30 Me, K and C sat on the couch laughing our asses off. C was tripping like a motherfucker as he put it, but I wasn’t sure what he meant. K only had pot but she was pretty much stoned hard. The scene began to slowly deteriorate for me. There is this movie called Killing Zoe where the guys are in this club getting wasted, when Eric Stolz character began to notice the world breaking up, changing becoming nothing more than pieces of data flowing into the brain. No more steady stream, but just bits and pieces of reality.
12:40 or there about from what I can remember, the seeds had taken me by the balls and put me in a place in which I was not familiar with.. It felt as if every sound, every object became exaggerated. A laugh became a horrific death laugh; the sound of the music became a trance of unpleasant sounds. The lights, oh, the lights, the reddish hue engulfed me. I could not longer control my thoughts. I could no longer stay in the present. My thoughts constantly drifted from in and out of reality. Where was I??? Who was I? Why are they laughing at me?? When will this end?? OMG! Make it fucking stop!! Make it fucking stop right god damn now!! I need to get control of my thoughts, I need to stop this. I was a dead man. I was dying and I knew it. Oh, wait I wasn’t dying, no worse, I was going to be like this for the rest of my life. I need the hospital and I need it now! I need help. Help me please for god sakes help me. What can I take to make this end?? What can I do to stop this?? Oh dear god make it stop!
Sometime between 12:45-1:00am my friends had gathered around me. They sat on both sides of me, trying to calm me down. Breath K, breath. Take it easy, nothing bad is going to happen to you. Breath, relax. It will end. Kn and C sat on both sides of me while was in complete panic. I held there hands while this terrible drug controlled me, I didn’t control it. I couldn’t let go. S was a voice of reason at the time. The only thing seeming to get through, as the waves of reality and whatever things inside my head were eating away at me. I closed my eyes and all I remember seeing was balls of light, almost as if I was on a roller coater of red and blue lights. It was making me sick and I couldn’t get off the ride. And the thirst was overwhelming. I drank water like there was no tomorrow. But the comfort of my friends allowed me to begin to calm down, to allow myself to say this isn’t going to last, this will end.
About 1:30 or so, I could feel the pieces of reality seeping back into my mind at longer and longer clips. The sounds and the sights no longer were a menacing force to be dealt with in my mind. I remember the pieces of reality staying with me for 20, then 30 then 40 seconds. For me at that time, time meant everything. I kept looking at the clock, assuring myself:
"The pot should wear off in one hour and 10 minutes and the acid should wear off in 2 or 3 hours" Once the pot wore off I thought, the paranoia would end and I would just have the one drug to deal with. The scene from the movie Fear and Loathing kept popping into my head, the one were Rauol was trying to check into the hotel. He says to himself "Ignore this terrible drug." So to myself, I kept repeating, "Ignore this terrible drug"
AS the panic slow subsided, I was able to see the world now for more then a minute at a time, staying within the realm of the real. I began to apologize for my behavior and even chuckle. C kept saying, "You took much man, you took too much." hahah Even that made me laugh a little. "We've hit the central nerve." That movie really now makes so much more sense now.
By 2:00 the peak was coming down nicely and the weed had just about vacated my body. I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t as my body felt as if every nerve ending was standing at attention. They played Trival Pursuit to try to keep me calm as my trip slowly subsided back into the place in my mind which I never want to go again. I made more trips to the bathroom then a 85 year old man with a bladder infection. By 2:30 I was actually enjoying the afterglow a bit, feeling a warmth of relief and exhaustion.
Oh yea, being stoned and LSA and having anxiety issues outside the realm of drugs is a recipe of disaster. You end up having a panic attack x 100. And those worst thing is you cant rationalize to yourself at all because your mind is too busy seeing the clock on the wall singing to you and the carpet trying to swallow your feet. You cant control your thoughts and tend to break from reality, but conscience of this the whole time. Bits and pieces of the real world do filter through and you end up grasping on to what you can truly know is real.
By 3:am I was half naked and back in the real world 90%. Embarrassed beyond anything I had ever done, I felt much remorse, but I felt as if I had survived seeing the Fear. People talk about Ego death, and I had no clue what they meant. I do now, and for me I couldn’t let go and just let the drug control me. I wasn’t ready to give up reality, I wasn’t ready for my ego to die.
At 4:20 I took a small hit off the bong to relax myself and finally went to sleep. C stayed with me until I passed out then went to bed. The next morning I arose at 10:am. I had a birthday party to attend. Oddly enough I could still feel a small amount of the drug, or at least what my mind thought was the drug. As I walked out into the sunshine I noticed things like I hadn’t since I was a kid. Simple things like the trees blowing the the warm summer breeze. The sunshine sparkling off the pavement, the lights glaring off the windshields of the cars. The grass seemed fresh and green.
Driving up, I noticed things about everything going on around me that I hadn’t noticed before. Simple things like a car being towed or a man being stopped by a cop. My mind wandered and wondered, why are they doing that, what’s going on there. The parade of cars up I-95 seemed almost a thing of beauty, a river of metal and steel in sync. I knew the drugs were out of my body, but I felt this feeling, I just cant describe it. I got to the party and people seemed much more friendly, more amicable. I could make out the smallest details in things and it was beautiful. Even things I would consider ugly.
I got home around 4pm and feel asleep. I did not awaken until Sunday at 10am. I was light headed and dizzy, but for the most part relieved about what I had been through. After eating and hitting the gym I felt like my old self again. I noticed I didn’t see things the way I had the day before, but the glow of what I had been through remained.
To those guys on here that were with me, and you know who you are, I can not thank you enough for being there and talking me through it. Without you all, I wouldn’t have made it I'm sure of it. I'm still sorry if I ruined the evening. Feel free to add to this if you can remember things that I couldn’t.
To the guys on here that were with me, that helped me through this very bad, albeit brief, place in my life I thank you. Without the good trip sitters I had, I'm not sure what I would have done.
The evening started well enough. We were all in a bright mood, as the evening before I made a run up to a friend that had some MDMA for us. It was going to be my first time and I was really energized. He was, however, upfront that some of the pills weren’t working. Some just contained regular Amphetamines and Ephedrine.
So as a back up plan I had purchased about 8 bags(about 400 seeds) of Morning Glory Seeds and plenty of very, very nice weed. I figured if the X wasn’t working then I could try the MGS to see how it was. I had never done any type of psychedelic before and I was interested in seeing what it was all about.
We gather around 8:00pm, have dinner and pull out the pills for further inspection. The previous evening we had a friend test on of the pills to see if she would roll, and indeed she did not roll. In fact I don’t think she felt much of anything. But we gave it a shot anyway. Two bowls of rice and sausage and down goes the pills. 3 of the 5 of us took them about 8:15, and the wait began. Around 9:00 I feel very speedy, hot and a little lightheaded. I was assured that I was not coming up and the feelings I had were more of speed than of MDMA. There may have been a trace of either MDE or MDA in the pills, but nothing that would allow me to roll.
By 10:00 only one of us was even in a minor roll. I just felt very speedy and the other guy felt pretty much nothing at all. At 10:15 I believed it was safe enough to go ahead and hit the bong. Me and the other guy that wasn’t taking the pills toked up a lot of weed in a short period of time. He agreed to do the MGS as well. He also had never experienced the full effects of MGS but had done shrooms and LSD many times. So I felt safe enough to try.
10:40 we had ground up the 400 seeds in a coffee grinder and placed them in some cookies and cream ice cream. This is by far the best way to take the seeds since I got almost 0 nausea from eating it. The cookies inside the ice cream hid the seed flavor and crunchiness. Also being a bit stoned and having a bad case of the munchies made eating it that much easier. It ended up being about 200 seeds for each of us, and according to the trip reports that was going to give me a mild trip.
11:30 Me and C had waaaay too much pot. Well maybe not for him, but I did. I was blitzed, but wasnt feeling the effects of the MGS as of yet. This is the part where a little light inside my head should have told me stop the pot, wait for the seeds to kick in. See I have a pretty good case of anxiety disorder when I'm not taking drugs, so the stage was being set for something I will regret for a long time.
12:00 Stoned off my ass, still feeling the effects of the speed I began to notice something different in my vision. Something I'd never seen before on any type of drug. The colors of the room began to almost glow a reddish hue, and the objects of the room became very pronounced. Nothing horrid, but definitely something was changing. Little did I know what was about to take place in the next 30 minutes would profoundly affect me.
12:30 Me, K and C sat on the couch laughing our asses off. C was tripping like a motherfucker as he put it, but I wasn’t sure what he meant. K only had pot but she was pretty much stoned hard. The scene began to slowly deteriorate for me. There is this movie called Killing Zoe where the guys are in this club getting wasted, when Eric Stolz character began to notice the world breaking up, changing becoming nothing more than pieces of data flowing into the brain. No more steady stream, but just bits and pieces of reality.
12:40 or there about from what I can remember, the seeds had taken me by the balls and put me in a place in which I was not familiar with.. It felt as if every sound, every object became exaggerated. A laugh became a horrific death laugh; the sound of the music became a trance of unpleasant sounds. The lights, oh, the lights, the reddish hue engulfed me. I could not longer control my thoughts. I could no longer stay in the present. My thoughts constantly drifted from in and out of reality. Where was I??? Who was I? Why are they laughing at me?? When will this end?? OMG! Make it fucking stop!! Make it fucking stop right god damn now!! I need to get control of my thoughts, I need to stop this. I was a dead man. I was dying and I knew it. Oh, wait I wasn’t dying, no worse, I was going to be like this for the rest of my life. I need the hospital and I need it now! I need help. Help me please for god sakes help me. What can I take to make this end?? What can I do to stop this?? Oh dear god make it stop!
Sometime between 12:45-1:00am my friends had gathered around me. They sat on both sides of me, trying to calm me down. Breath K, breath. Take it easy, nothing bad is going to happen to you. Breath, relax. It will end. Kn and C sat on both sides of me while was in complete panic. I held there hands while this terrible drug controlled me, I didn’t control it. I couldn’t let go. S was a voice of reason at the time. The only thing seeming to get through, as the waves of reality and whatever things inside my head were eating away at me. I closed my eyes and all I remember seeing was balls of light, almost as if I was on a roller coater of red and blue lights. It was making me sick and I couldn’t get off the ride. And the thirst was overwhelming. I drank water like there was no tomorrow. But the comfort of my friends allowed me to begin to calm down, to allow myself to say this isn’t going to last, this will end.
About 1:30 or so, I could feel the pieces of reality seeping back into my mind at longer and longer clips. The sounds and the sights no longer were a menacing force to be dealt with in my mind. I remember the pieces of reality staying with me for 20, then 30 then 40 seconds. For me at that time, time meant everything. I kept looking at the clock, assuring myself:
"The pot should wear off in one hour and 10 minutes and the acid should wear off in 2 or 3 hours" Once the pot wore off I thought, the paranoia would end and I would just have the one drug to deal with. The scene from the movie Fear and Loathing kept popping into my head, the one were Rauol was trying to check into the hotel. He says to himself "Ignore this terrible drug." So to myself, I kept repeating, "Ignore this terrible drug"
AS the panic slow subsided, I was able to see the world now for more then a minute at a time, staying within the realm of the real. I began to apologize for my behavior and even chuckle. C kept saying, "You took much man, you took too much." hahah Even that made me laugh a little. "We've hit the central nerve." That movie really now makes so much more sense now.
By 2:00 the peak was coming down nicely and the weed had just about vacated my body. I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t as my body felt as if every nerve ending was standing at attention. They played Trival Pursuit to try to keep me calm as my trip slowly subsided back into the place in my mind which I never want to go again. I made more trips to the bathroom then a 85 year old man with a bladder infection. By 2:30 I was actually enjoying the afterglow a bit, feeling a warmth of relief and exhaustion.
Oh yea, being stoned and LSA and having anxiety issues outside the realm of drugs is a recipe of disaster. You end up having a panic attack x 100. And those worst thing is you cant rationalize to yourself at all because your mind is too busy seeing the clock on the wall singing to you and the carpet trying to swallow your feet. You cant control your thoughts and tend to break from reality, but conscience of this the whole time. Bits and pieces of the real world do filter through and you end up grasping on to what you can truly know is real.
By 3:am I was half naked and back in the real world 90%. Embarrassed beyond anything I had ever done, I felt much remorse, but I felt as if I had survived seeing the Fear. People talk about Ego death, and I had no clue what they meant. I do now, and for me I couldn’t let go and just let the drug control me. I wasn’t ready to give up reality, I wasn’t ready for my ego to die.
At 4:20 I took a small hit off the bong to relax myself and finally went to sleep. C stayed with me until I passed out then went to bed. The next morning I arose at 10:am. I had a birthday party to attend. Oddly enough I could still feel a small amount of the drug, or at least what my mind thought was the drug. As I walked out into the sunshine I noticed things like I hadn’t since I was a kid. Simple things like the trees blowing the the warm summer breeze. The sunshine sparkling off the pavement, the lights glaring off the windshields of the cars. The grass seemed fresh and green.
Driving up, I noticed things about everything going on around me that I hadn’t noticed before. Simple things like a car being towed or a man being stopped by a cop. My mind wandered and wondered, why are they doing that, what’s going on there. The parade of cars up I-95 seemed almost a thing of beauty, a river of metal and steel in sync. I knew the drugs were out of my body, but I felt this feeling, I just cant describe it. I got to the party and people seemed much more friendly, more amicable. I could make out the smallest details in things and it was beautiful. Even things I would consider ugly.
I got home around 4pm and feel asleep. I did not awaken until Sunday at 10am. I was light headed and dizzy, but for the most part relieved about what I had been through. After eating and hitting the gym I felt like my old self again. I noticed I didn’t see things the way I had the day before, but the glow of what I had been through remained.
To those guys on here that were with me, and you know who you are, I can not thank you enough for being there and talking me through it. Without you all, I wouldn’t have made it I'm sure of it. I'm still sorry if I ruined the evening. Feel free to add to this if you can remember things that I couldn’t.
