Moment of Truth

[himynameispaul]

I'm just gonna put this here. Make of it what you like.


Cold feet. When you’re on the verge of change - at the edge of the precipice - your body has a tendency to freeze up. No matter how much you’re mentally prepared for the action, when it comes down to the actual moment - its as if you’ve suddenly been transported to greenland. The thing about hesitation is that its self perpetuating loop. The more you think and consider the cowardly act of backing out, the more questions plague your thoughts. It isn’t until you do.

What about those situations where backing out takes as much courage as jumping? What if doing is the wrong thing and not doing is the right thing? The mental agony and gut clenching feeling of having to decide in the heat of the moment - it’s tough. We’ll never have enough preparation to prepare for the unknown. We’ll never be ready - we’ll just have to take it as it comes and do what must be done. Right? But how will we know what must be done?

Getting in a roller coaster and free fall jumping off a cliff into a pool of frigid water below. Stepping on stage to perform in an orchestra or for a play or a musical. Sitting down to take a test. Taking a psychedelic substance. Meditation has taught me of a middle ground. Where there isn’t such a divide between acting and fleeing or cowardice and courage but moreso a harmony. Does it take more courage to sit down and take a test you’re unprepared for and struggle for answers, or stand up and walk away from it? Are you fleeing from it, or instead, understanding your limitations and granting yourself more time?

In every situation of this sort it is your values and faith that are called into question, and no matter your decision, you will always have the potential to grow from it. We may never be truly prepared for every fastball life throws at us, but we may be steadfast with our faith and ever conscious of our values at every moment of our lives. Life is full of these fight or flight moments and our body chemistry is to thank for them, but if we have some sort of established person, then perhaps we’ll be more prepared when our sympathetic nervous system acts up.

From what I remember of myself and my past, I’ve always had a fascination with the “beyond” part of life. The part we never did and never will understand - what we call death. Supposedly after we die there’s still a part of our brain still active that’s still relaying chemical signals. I imagine during this time we’re presented with a “moment of truth” in which it is our entire being that is called into question. We’re pushed towards the edge of the precipice and forced to decide. Will you run from it or will you accept it?

I don’t believe you can run from yourself, though, just as your shadow will always follow you. You may beable to hide in the dark, but then what are you but lost, unaware and full of fear? When the most brilliant light is shown upon your soul, it will cast a reflection. Can we unassumingly stare into its eyes and see how it stares back into ours with an equally curious gaze?

It smiles.

I believe memory to be a false pretense for identity. Sure, it’s all that we have to define ourselves but is that a factual statement or simply an excuse? Memory is past, but the moment is now, so how wrong is it to see oneself as the sum total of their experiences? Who else would we be? I know that I am, but do you know that you are? We can only speak for ourselves… but do we? Perhaps it is our experiences and emotions that speak for us.

I’m convinced of our predominant consciousness as a conjecture. Progression is based on steadily becoming more and more conscious of certain perceivable phenomena. We may also extend our senses for this purpose. We must create microscopes and telescopes, develop faster methods of travels and reach new heights, and realize technology able to see and hear waves beyond and below the capabilities of our eyes and ears. We become the masters of our world more and more everyday. It’s definitely reputable and commendable, but I don’t think its the extent of our capabilities.

Scientific inquiry is all about questioning reality. Questions lead to answers which lead to more questions. We build ourselves up on fact but what happens when one answer leads to questions that can’t be answered? Do we rework the question or do we ignore it? Either way, the question is not being answered. The ultimate reality of the universe may be infinite, but life will always be finite. We’re working our way up the pyramid whose foundation was set during the dawning age of civilization, and we’ll inevitably reach a point. This analogy in itself is a conjecture, as in this lifetime I will never know ALL enough to speak truly, and its arguable that because progression is based on established fact, it is not conjecture.

Fact is, after all, an established norm that allows for reality to exist, but laws and fact only establishes and makes room for one reality. What if at that top pyramid point, the question we ask can only be answered by accepting the possibility of a new reality?

Perhaps the the totality of the conscious and unconscious mind is superseded by a sort of epiconsciousness. That is, something above the consciousness. Epigenetics is an emerging field of study which looks at heritable change beyond DNA. How strange. And then there’s dark energy which supposedly makes up 3/4 of the total mass-energy in the universe. Evidence for its existence is all circumstantial, however. In both of these cases we’re unable to fully grasp their existence, but we truly believe they’re there.

Life has always been and will always be grand and mysterious, within and without us. Everything amounts to the end of the journey. The journey itself is magnificent to behold and be present in and experience. But…

When you take the leap of faith at the precipice into the unknown of nothing you may become a single point with no relevance to anything - what will your identity be then? Will it be something you cling to, unable to let go? Is it really that important to you, because after all, who else are you? What else could you possibly be?

 

[himynameispaul]

IMV, the answer is as simple, ordinary and boring as it could possibly get. "Pure consciousness". Take out the word "pure" if u like, one is one's consciousness, and that is all. The real answers are all too simple for the mind, all "prior to" the questions ever having been asked, or needed.

Of course, the mind never wants to leave it alone, despite the stunning simplicity and obviousness of moment-to-moment reality...

Pure consciousness as in Existence. Existence that is Existence. Singularity. Our rationale is similar to the asymptote concept - it never hits zero. To be without a "why" and "because" would push the boundary of what it means to be human.

I hereby verify your statement with question! Can we transcend such demarcations?

Stay tuned to find out!

 

[Dedbeet]

I believe memory to be a false pretense for identity. Sure, it’s all that we have to define ourselves but is that a factual statement or simply an excuse? Memory is past, but the moment is now, so how wrong is it to see oneself as the sum total of their experiences?

It simply isn't true.

If you're the sum total of your experiences, put down in words who you are. Write down the sum total of all your experiences, and include a transmission of how they felt and what they looked like to you at the time, regardless of how they look to you now. Please include everything that you didn't remember, because it wasn't important at the time.

There's no such thing as the sum total of all your experiences. You can't experience it, can't know it, can't think about it, can't put it down in words. You cannot sum up all your experiences. To sum it up would be a new experience that can't be added to the sum you already made. A "sum total of all that has ever happened to me" is a fuzzy concept that has no actual counterpart in reality.

 

[Dedbeet]

Pure consciousness as in Existence. Existence that is Existence.

It isn't really existence or nonexistence. It is a flow of change that never changes (as a flow of change). Thus, it is both change and changelessness, or neither. Same difference.

The "self" is an attempted dam in the flow of change that never changes (as a dam), always stays the same -- through the belief that it spans over time, and doesn't arise/occur purely within the flow, like everything else. It's impossible -- it never existed and never will.

Singularity. Our rationale is similar to the asymptote concept - it never hits zero. To be without a "why" and "because" would push the boundary of what it means to be human.

Yes -- to not seek answers, and not experience cause and effect. That is quite beyond the mind.

The answers the mind seek are all to questions about things that have happened in the past, and are gone -- it seeks predictability, the ability to shape and control future events. Such an attempt merely repeats the past, because the past is then shaping and controlling future events, with an eye toward improving on its own imposed limitation, creating 'better' limitation that increases its ability to control and limit.

Causation is conceptualized about things that have happened in the past, as compared to other things that have happened in the past, thus it exists in the past. It's an explanation for why events that no longer exist cause other events that no longer exist. Moreover, it assumes that a single object (like a person) can cause something to happen, in isolation from everything else in the universe, which is absurd if you think about it.

I hereby verify your statement with question! Can we transcend such demarcations?

Stay tuned to find out!

Yes -- the mind can be transcended, by seeing through it to the bottom and understanding its limitations. The primary limitation is that it is the past. The past limits the present, through knowledge about past events that are supposed to be the same every/most times they happen, but rarely are, resulting in history endlessly repeating itself. Thus, the mind is a state of ever-increasing limitation and repetition. The more knowledge, the more limitation/repetition ('power'). To know is to eliminate possibility.

What frees the mind is the absence of the self/psyche. Self is the movement to control, limit and secure. The mind becomes a free thinker in its absence.

Peace...