Mohamedbear's heroin withdrawal journal

[Mohamedbear]

Hi people, recently registered but I've been a long time lurker. I just want to share my progress on stopping heroin.

Ive started this journal on another well-known drugs forum but wanted to share my progress with you lot and hopefully help a few along the way.

So this is a bit about me.

Hey guys and gals my names mohamedbear I'm a 25 year old male from the UK that is currently on day 3 withdrawal from heroin... And going strong!

I'd like to tell you a bit about myself first and my previous medical procedures from which I believe my opiate use first stemmed from. In 2014 I had to have my colon (large intestine) removed due to ulcerative colitis and as a result a colostomy bag fitted to my stomach at 21 years of age with no previous history of colitis.

I have always enjoyed recreational drugs like: MDMA, Amphetamines, LSD, Magic mushrooms, Cannabis. So I knew how good the made me feel and used these for about 2 years before all this shit happened.

Then whilst in hospital I got my first taste of opiates and let's just say wow. I went from having the worst abdominal pain ever! That I can't even begin to describe the agony I was in. To then be given 10mg I. V morphine for the first time ever taking an opiate! Within seconds the severe abdominal pain had subsided and I was left with a complete feeling of bliss that I can only describe as floating on the fluffiest cloud you've ever seen, wrapped in a blanket of warmth .... This is when I first got a taste of opiates....

I spent 2 weeks in hospital, the first being treated with strong steroids, the occasional morphine shot and tramadol in between. After a week of symptoms getting worse I was rushed into surgery with whats known as a toxic mega colon. This is when my bowl was removed and a colostomy bag fitted ... I awoke from surgery not really knowing what surgery I'd had done because I was that out of it but I had a I. V morphine drip inserted that I could dispense at the press of a button.

Needless to say I pressed the hell out of that button... Despite only just coming round from surgery I experienced the same bliss! And you guessed it, I pressed the button that much I made myself sick to the stomach! Then my auntie visited me who had taken amphetamines all her life, at least 25 years my dad also being a 31 year amphetamine addict. My dad's been clean 3 years now and my auntie 11 weeks! So pleased for them both!

So my auntie visits and asks what drugs I'm on. ''anything good'' she says? I say yeah I. V morphine and show her the button. She goes whoa! Give us some! And then laughs and says nah, but if it was nitrous oxide I'd soon have a go.... She then tells me to be careful because people come into hospital ill and leave with a heroin addiction. About two days later is when I made myself really sick from abusing the button... Lol. It was a bad experience to say the least!

After this I didn't take any opiate painkillers and swore to my mum that I experienced withdrawals.... after two days of feeling like shite with zero sleep I was given 30mg oxy Contin, this was a horrible experience! I felt tired (I now know as nodding off) but paralysed at the same time stareing at the ceiling, unable to sleep and this was when I refused opiates.

A week after the operation I was released from hospital with codeine and tramadol and various other medications I needed for recovery, needless to say the last thing I wanted was opiates so I didn't take them just the other medication.

My recovery from this operation took a couple of months during which I didn't take any opiates just the other medication.

About half a year down the line, fit and healthy I was left with this feeling of depression and the thought of why has this happened to me....

Now because of my recreational drug use I knew how good drugs made me feel.... (temporarily) But didn't want to take any thing like mdma or amphetamines because of fear of health implications. So guess what... I took 120mg of codeine and felt great. I did this about twice a week but never experienced withdrawal because of my sporadic use. Fast forward a year and I discover poppy pod tea and this is when I first experienced proper opiate withdrawal. After three months of daily use I quit and had horrible withdrawals but made it through without the use of any other drugs and vowed never to do opiates again.

About another year after this I discovered tramadol and having vowed never to take opiates again proceeded to down 300-400mg daily purchased from a friend. I used daily for about half a year but supprisingly experienced very little withdrawal because of researching tapering and sticking to my schedule.

After quitting tramadol rather painlessly I went on another poppy pod binge just months after the tramadol addiction.

Amidst my poppy pod induced state of mind I hear my mate on about so and so who I happen to know and how they're selling brown (heroin) ... This immediately peaked my interests.... Partly because of the unpredictability off poppy pod tea's strength and a reliable source.

So I reached out... Obviously... And so began my descent into darkness using the very same class of drugs that once raised me above the darkness.... Haha shouldn't laugh because I've lost a lot due to this addiction. But being as I'm at the end of day 3 no opiates I feel like I can...

Since starting the dance with the devil (heroin) I've kicked the habit several times, about 3-4 times I loose count but always get drawn back after about a month or so of sobriety... The longest stretch of sobriety was about 3 months.

When I first discovered heroin I started on one bag a day and after 3 months progressed onto 3 bags a day or more If I could afford it and soon began finding myself waking up in withdrawal. In a frenzy I searched every part of the Internet looking for a way to painlessly detox from heroin. After countless hours of reading I discovered lyrica (Pregabalin) and how people were using it to withdraw from opiates.... Painlessly!

I Immediately got onto my addict ''mates'' and got a box of 56 150mg pregabs and so began my first heroin detox.

I'll describe my opiate kicking regime below because it's been the same process every time. And I'll tell you this ... Kicking opiates is a piece of piss! Trust me this is the easy part but staying off them is a different story altogether demonstrated by my multiple relapses....

But up until my 3rd relapse my parents knew nothing of my addiction to one of the most addicting drugs of all times and I believe the combination of my parents not knowing and me using drugs to feel good (temporarily) where what made me relapse so easily because I had no one to share my accomplishments with.

Once my parents found out I quit cold turkey again using only pregabalin and made them happy and I felt pretty chuffed myself... This was my longest period of sobriety, 3 months! But once again I fell back onto the wagon but this time my use escalated to half a gram a day.

And now here I am again 3 days clean! Huray!

This time round I've well and truly hit rock bottom. I've stole off my family and lost all trust from them after being given chance after chance and me taking the piss time and time again. This time though I've contacted my local addiction center for some professional help because I just can't stay off the stuff ... And this is where I need counselling!

Initially when I contacted them I was still using and they were keen to put me on a script for either methadone or subbitex and at the time I was considering methadone because I just wanted some normality in my life. The entire process for getting a script takes 3-4 weeks... A long time really especially when you already can't afford your habit.

Its currently been 3 weeks and so far have been allocated a key worker, spilled my heart out, had a medical and have my clinic appointment some time this coming week but by then will be opiate free! Yippee!

I can't wait to tell my key worker I'm opiate free and prove it with a drugs test and show my parents the evidence!

So after this long long post (typed on my phone) I believe this is the time I'll remain opiate free because I ain't just got myself to prove it to and having a key worker there to support me and provide proper counciling to help me stay off em for good!

But here's to day 4!

I'll write up my withdrawal method tomorrow and explain it in full detail but if it wasn't for you guys... and gals I wouldn't have the valuable information I've got.

So take care every body and good luck to all!

 

[Mohamedbear]

Hi guys and gals I've not posted an update in a few days, I'm still doing well and I'm 9 days off the heroin so far. I'm going to my local drug addiction and recovery place on Tuesday when it reopens after Easter to do a drugs test so I can prove to my mum and dad that I'm clean and I'm really looking forward to doing so. It's something that's going to make me and my family really proud.

I popped into adaction on day 4 being clean to show my face and just to tell someone about my achievement! They all was very impressed to say the least and could see how chuffed I was as well.

I had an appointment on the Thursday just gone to get put on either a methadone script or subbitex but deep down I knew that wasn't a sensible choice because every thing I've read about says methadone withdrawal is a hell of a lot worse so I decided to tough it out with the few pregabs I'm prescribed and did it with success!...

I've been completely drug free apart from some cannabis since day 4 so almost 5 days drug free and feeling great. I'm still get the odd bit of depression and feeling of emptyness but it's nothing compared to waking up in the morning feinding for gear and feeling desperate.

Thanks everyone who reads this for taking your time to read my story, it means a lot so thank you!

I'm going to continue updating this journal because no one has ever really known about my issues so if never really had anyone to share my achievement with. So having this journal really helps because I feel like I can't let you lot down as well.

But thanks everyone and wish you all the best in your life's

 

[Mohamedbear]

Hi people! So... I've been meaning to type this up since I started this journal because this is my method for a virtually painless withdrawal!

So the only drug I used to get off heroin was pregabalin, I'm prescribed 50mg three times a day because of my previous health issues but don't take them daily as prescribed because I withdrew from these once and my god it was hurrendus! But I continued to get my prescription because of how good it is for opiate withdrawal.

So here goes, it's pretty straightforward. Take pregabalin for no more than five days, seven at a push until the opiates are out your system and the worse has passed then rapidly reduce the pregabs after the worst of withdrawal has passed.

Day 1 - 12-24 hours after last heroin dose I take about 400mg pregabalin in the morning upon waking, within an hour I'm virtually withdrawal symptom free.

I repeat this one more time in the afternoon and again an hour or so before bed. Sleep can still be hit and miss but because of the pregabs you won't have any hot/cold sweats, no restless legs, no nausea and I don't know about diarrhoea because I've got a stoma bag. You'll still yawn a lot but that's about it and you get a great sense of wellbeing and positivity with pregabalin as well, which is great for the determination needed to kick opiates.

Day 2 - I repeat the same dose of 400mg in the morning but this time wait as long as I can before the afternoon dose and try and last until the evening before taking it but don't push yourself 3 x a day is fine after all its only day 2 so you kind of deserve it.

I often find sleeping a bit more easier at the end of day 2. Without the pregabalin we'd all be climbing the walls.

Day 3 - usually withdrawal symptoms would be peaking by now but with pregabalin you'll feel comfortable.

On day 3 I took 500mg in the morning instead of 400mg so I can last as long as I can before taking the next dose, on 500mg I was able to make it all the way until 9pm before feeling uncomfortable, but I don't know if this was in my head and I was just thinking it worse...

At 9pm I took 300mg instead of 400mg and want to bed an hour later and had a pretty decent night's sleep.

And I actually found this day to be one of the easiest.

Day 4 - today I took 300mg upon waking at 8am and 300mg at 9pm and experienced the same relief.

Day 5 - I only took 200mg at 8am and 200mg at 9pm. Usually I'd lower the dose slightly slower but I'd almost ran out of pregabalin at this point but the worst is already out the way. At this point if you where to stop the pregabs now you'd have little discomfort, just tingles down your spine that gets crazy.... almost orgasmic when you listen to your favourite music.

You'll be slightly restless at night time still and probably not get a lot of sleep but fucking hell you've just done 5 days off heroin! What do you expect! But by day five you'll be feeling great and so chuffed with your progress especially if you've got someone to share your achievement with.

Day 6 - I didn't take any pregabalin I just smoked weed instead which occupied me and lifted that lonely feeling.

And since day 6 have just smoked some weed everyday which is what I used to do before the junk anyway... And here I am on day 9 feeling great!

This is key!

Have someone to talk to about what you're going through because when you've only got yourself to persuade it becomes hard to stay away especially when you're back to feeling good without the gear.

but when someone close to you knows what your going through and what you've accomplished it really does make a difference because you don't want to let them or yourself down.

But when you've having a hard day whether you're feeling depressed and lonely or just straight up bored they will relate to you and know why your feeling the way you are.

Without friends and family or what not knowing what you are going through you'll be drawn back in by you fake friend because deep down your brain knows that's heroin is still the instant fix all be it temporary.

But just remember that it's still early day and everything will get Infinitly better with time.

And you'll have so much more time on your hands... So get a hobby! You'll soon find some things to do that you used to do before the shit. So just enjoy what your new life has to offer, get in touch with old friends that you haven't spoken to since you went off the rails and start rebuilding bridges and regain some trust.

You'll find pretty much everyone will look at you in a different light now because they'll be able to sense your original personality again and sharing your progress with them will build respect and honesty between you. And in return fortify your positivity!

Thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope people find this useful and if you have any questions whatsoever... And I mean anything personal or whatever, feel free to get in contact.

Oh and if you can drop me a comment that'd really mean a lot, cheers!

 

[herbavore]

Hello Mohamedbear and welcome to Bluelight!
I think your step to go get yourself an addictions counselor was a very good one. I take it that your family now knows the steps you are taking? I'm sure that it may take time to rebuild trust but that's okay--just keep working at it.

edit: lol I mistakenly thought I was viewing this in TDS so was going to move it only to get the error message: you cannot move a thread to the forum it is in". Perhaps I need new glasses!