Literally I could not stand to look to my left
(While dancing that is).
I felt so empty, of course, just like any other day.
(but today it became clearer again)
I just turn my head to the right as I dance
(so I don't see no one to my left)
And at that point in time I realized that what really bugs me and depresses me throughout the entirity of my life recently is the absence of someone
(someone special and beautiful and important)
You know all those words and poems that I wrote? There never was any girl, no one I really loved, no real events to base those writings upon. They were all created inside my head as a cushion for me to lay upon when I sleep. Something to pretend with. I created her to help fill the emptiness that is during times like these
(she has never existed at any point in my time line).
So why do I say this anyways? Does it ruin the poem and writings?
(their meaning?)
Does the fact that *she* never existing make what I wrote false and less emotion filled?
(empty?)
Beautiful. Maybe now you'll see it through my eyes. These wretched empty, alone, stupid fucking eyes that can't see worth a shit on their own.
(blind?)
Or maybe the poems and writings as a whole
(the ones that are about her)
maybe when you put them all together you begin to see what is really going on inside of me
(that is, put together with the knowledge that she never existed)
You see, it's not about the girl
(though I wish so much it was, though I pray)
the writings are about that nothingness I see when I look to my left while dancing
(the fact that I can't look, the fact that I don't look)
And maybe it's easier now to see why I look to the right when I dance.
(dance has been a form of expression throughout the age of man).
Pyro
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--------
Frequency. Music. Sound. Imagination. Reality. Worlds. Hope. Love. Communication. Common Sense. Community.
[This message has been edited by Pyro (edited 04 July 2000).]
(While dancing that is).
I felt so empty, of course, just like any other day.
(but today it became clearer again)
I just turn my head to the right as I dance
(so I don't see no one to my left)
And at that point in time I realized that what really bugs me and depresses me throughout the entirity of my life recently is the absence of someone
(someone special and beautiful and important)
You know all those words and poems that I wrote? There never was any girl, no one I really loved, no real events to base those writings upon. They were all created inside my head as a cushion for me to lay upon when I sleep. Something to pretend with. I created her to help fill the emptiness that is during times like these
(she has never existed at any point in my time line).
So why do I say this anyways? Does it ruin the poem and writings?
(their meaning?)
Does the fact that *she* never existing make what I wrote false and less emotion filled?
(empty?)
Beautiful. Maybe now you'll see it through my eyes. These wretched empty, alone, stupid fucking eyes that can't see worth a shit on their own.
(blind?)
Or maybe the poems and writings as a whole
(the ones that are about her)
maybe when you put them all together you begin to see what is really going on inside of me
(that is, put together with the knowledge that she never existed)
You see, it's not about the girl
(though I wish so much it was, though I pray)
the writings are about that nothingness I see when I look to my left while dancing
(the fact that I can't look, the fact that I don't look)
And maybe it's easier now to see why I look to the right when I dance.
(dance has been a form of expression throughout the age of man).
Pyro
------------------
--------
Frequency. Music. Sound. Imagination. Reality. Worlds. Hope. Love. Communication. Common Sense. Community.
[This message has been edited by Pyro (edited 04 July 2000).]