Set: Unhappy. I've been in a bit of a rut for the past several days. I'm ordinarily a very happy person, and consistently happy at that. It's extremely unusual for me to have a "bad" day. Lately, however, I've been utterly swamped by my classes and my job, and the constant stress has left me irritable. I spent the evening with a couple friends at a local artsy coffee shop/bar and listened to a friend of a friend's band play. I'm hoping that tonight will help knock me out of this little daze.
Setting: My dorm room. Solo. I have a nice cozy bed, nice cozy tunes, and have recently straightened up.
I take 10 mg dexedrine 2x/day, every day. I wanted to abstain from taking it today, but after having been awake for a few hours and still feeling lethargic and unmotivated, decided to go ahead and take my regular dose. I weigh about 125 pounds, 5'11", 20 y/o, male. Yeah, I'm skinny. I had considered using 166 mg as a starter dose, but decided to excercise caution in light of my weight, sensitivity, and the fact that the dexedrine would probably still be in my sytem when I dosed.
11:00 AM - 10 mg dexedrine spansule
7:00 PM - 10 mg dexedrine spansule
8:45 PM - Cappucino
--------
12:30 AM - Ingest 125 mg methylone in a gelcap.
12:56 AM - Alert?
1:25 AM - Coming along nicely. Very smooth come-up, free from nausea or other somatic discomfort. A slight bit jittery, sedated. I feel like I'm in bed, spooning with someone I love. I'd forgotten how that feels. Music is enhanced. I'm listening to Rosie Thomas. Beautiful. Poetic. Highly recommended.
I'm stretching quite a bit, which feels great. I am breathing deeply and regularly, again, this feels wonderful. I spent most of this time in my nice cozy bed.
1:47 AM - Euphoria has dissipated. Rather quick heartbeat, but not alarmingly so. Fun eye-wiggles! Whee!! A good bit of jaw-clench, but not as bad as on MDMA or the 2C's. Spent the last 30 minutes laying in bed thinking about some various habits, pet peaves, and behaviors I exhibit. I'm able to examine myself from an outside perspective while, at the same time, having the personal knowledge about myself that only I can have. That's not a particularly eloquent way of putting it, but you get my drift.
Going outside for a smoke.
1:57 AM - I knew there was a reason I bought newports instead of camels today. The menthol feels wonderful. Effects have already dissipated quite a bit.
2:28 AM - 20 mg insufflated. No burn to speak of.
2:30 AM - Very nasty drip, however. Hellllooooooo, coca-cola. Much better.
2:56 AM - Effects of booster are noticed within 10 minutes. There is more speediness, but I am not returned to the rather loved-up MDMA-like state that I enjoyed at 1:30 AM. There are actually some visual effects present. I notice some very faint patterning on the ceiling, and a bit of typical psychedelic static. Didn't expect that. There's an ambulance outside, parked in front of the dorm across the courtyard. I think back to the suicide attempt I intervened last year, and hope that no one has succeeded in offing him or herself tonight. Far more likely that it's related to alcohol poisoning, or an alcohol related accident. I read /The Death of Ivan Illyich/ this week. It was a painful reminder that today only happens once, that mistakes can not be corrected, and that each day is to be lived not as one's last, but with the knowledge that one's time on earth is finite. Between that and the painfully
vivid IRC OD on The Dark Side, I've found myself obsessed with death lately. It has impacted my every thought, and made it practically impossible to simply relax.
. . . Whatever the reason for the ambulance, it's a reminder of my own mortality. Note to self: Be careful.
I'm going outside for another newport.
3:06 AM - When I got outside, the ambulance had left. I lit up a cig just as a cop drives by on the sidewalk, reving the engine. Two drunk girls in the parking lot respond with "HOLLA, VROOM VROOM HA HA HA!" There's no paranoia regarding the cop, but I wonder for a moment if the girls were laughing at me.
I quickly realize that this was completely illogical, and enjoy the rest of my smoke. The crowd surrounding the ambulance has dispersed and gone inside.
3:33 AM - Mentally, I'm more or less at baseline. Maybe a +1. My jaw is still tense, however, and my body is certainly not ready to go to sleep. I'm going to take a hot shower.
3:57 AM - It was a hot shower. Nothing more, nothing less. I guess I'll be retiring to bed and try to sleep.
---
2:00 PM - Feelin' fine. Looks to be a beautiful day outside. *smile*
---
Overall, a very nice experience, and very reminiscent of MDMA. I find, however, that methylone seems to make me feel more introverted than MDMA. This I take to be a good thing. MDMA tends to invoke mania, silly ideations of new projects and resolutions, things that will obviously never be followed through upon coming down. Methylone was far more grounded, and in this, it is more useful. I find that methylone feels much smoother on the body than MDMA, and while methylone made me feel a bit stoned, it was much less stoning than MDMA.
[ 08 February 2003: Message edited by: fict ]
Setting: My dorm room. Solo. I have a nice cozy bed, nice cozy tunes, and have recently straightened up.
I take 10 mg dexedrine 2x/day, every day. I wanted to abstain from taking it today, but after having been awake for a few hours and still feeling lethargic and unmotivated, decided to go ahead and take my regular dose. I weigh about 125 pounds, 5'11", 20 y/o, male. Yeah, I'm skinny. I had considered using 166 mg as a starter dose, but decided to excercise caution in light of my weight, sensitivity, and the fact that the dexedrine would probably still be in my sytem when I dosed.
11:00 AM - 10 mg dexedrine spansule
7:00 PM - 10 mg dexedrine spansule
8:45 PM - Cappucino
--------
12:30 AM - Ingest 125 mg methylone in a gelcap.
12:56 AM - Alert?
1:25 AM - Coming along nicely. Very smooth come-up, free from nausea or other somatic discomfort. A slight bit jittery, sedated. I feel like I'm in bed, spooning with someone I love. I'd forgotten how that feels. Music is enhanced. I'm listening to Rosie Thomas. Beautiful. Poetic. Highly recommended.
I'm stretching quite a bit, which feels great. I am breathing deeply and regularly, again, this feels wonderful. I spent most of this time in my nice cozy bed.
1:47 AM - Euphoria has dissipated. Rather quick heartbeat, but not alarmingly so. Fun eye-wiggles! Whee!! A good bit of jaw-clench, but not as bad as on MDMA or the 2C's. Spent the last 30 minutes laying in bed thinking about some various habits, pet peaves, and behaviors I exhibit. I'm able to examine myself from an outside perspective while, at the same time, having the personal knowledge about myself that only I can have. That's not a particularly eloquent way of putting it, but you get my drift.
Going outside for a smoke.
1:57 AM - I knew there was a reason I bought newports instead of camels today. The menthol feels wonderful. Effects have already dissipated quite a bit.
2:28 AM - 20 mg insufflated. No burn to speak of.
2:30 AM - Very nasty drip, however. Hellllooooooo, coca-cola. Much better.
2:56 AM - Effects of booster are noticed within 10 minutes. There is more speediness, but I am not returned to the rather loved-up MDMA-like state that I enjoyed at 1:30 AM. There are actually some visual effects present. I notice some very faint patterning on the ceiling, and a bit of typical psychedelic static. Didn't expect that. There's an ambulance outside, parked in front of the dorm across the courtyard. I think back to the suicide attempt I intervened last year, and hope that no one has succeeded in offing him or herself tonight. Far more likely that it's related to alcohol poisoning, or an alcohol related accident. I read /The Death of Ivan Illyich/ this week. It was a painful reminder that today only happens once, that mistakes can not be corrected, and that each day is to be lived not as one's last, but with the knowledge that one's time on earth is finite. Between that and the painfully
vivid IRC OD on The Dark Side, I've found myself obsessed with death lately. It has impacted my every thought, and made it practically impossible to simply relax.
. . . Whatever the reason for the ambulance, it's a reminder of my own mortality. Note to self: Be careful.
I'm going outside for another newport.
3:06 AM - When I got outside, the ambulance had left. I lit up a cig just as a cop drives by on the sidewalk, reving the engine. Two drunk girls in the parking lot respond with "HOLLA, VROOM VROOM HA HA HA!" There's no paranoia regarding the cop, but I wonder for a moment if the girls were laughing at me.
I quickly realize that this was completely illogical, and enjoy the rest of my smoke. The crowd surrounding the ambulance has dispersed and gone inside.
3:33 AM - Mentally, I'm more or less at baseline. Maybe a +1. My jaw is still tense, however, and my body is certainly not ready to go to sleep. I'm going to take a hot shower.
3:57 AM - It was a hot shower. Nothing more, nothing less. I guess I'll be retiring to bed and try to sleep.
---
2:00 PM - Feelin' fine. Looks to be a beautiful day outside. *smile*
---
Overall, a very nice experience, and very reminiscent of MDMA. I find, however, that methylone seems to make me feel more introverted than MDMA. This I take to be a good thing. MDMA tends to invoke mania, silly ideations of new projects and resolutions, things that will obviously never be followed through upon coming down. Methylone was far more grounded, and in this, it is more useful. I find that methylone feels much smoother on the body than MDMA, and while methylone made me feel a bit stoned, it was much less stoning than MDMA.
[ 08 February 2003: Message edited by: fict ]
