Thank God This Is Being Addressed.
This is gonna be heavy.
This expression has been a long time coming.
In the first MXE thread, "
Methoxetamine - Tell Us More," and in a blog entry of mine that I deleted for some unknown reason (while on MXE... the irony) I had posited that Methoxetamine was the "Bermuda Triangle" of addiction - and now, we finally have a thread that supports that notion. I managed to dig up
this old post of mine from
March 30th, 2011 where I fondly recall first becoming aware of the fact that I was addicted, from a clinical standpoint, to this chemical. I'm torn - dismayed, on the one hand, that what happened to me has happened to many others; excited, on the other hand, that we (as a stable, informed and cohesive community) may now openly address it with the burden of proof resting on our shoulders.
Before I go ahead and contribute to the discussion, I've had a lot of people ask me about the "Bermuda Triangle" of addiction moniker I've given for MXE. Evidence for this line of thinking stems from the article,
"Interview with a Ketamine Chemist: Or to be More Precise, An Arylcyclohexylamine Chemist". In short, the creator of Methoxetamine purports that MXE agonizes both mu-opioid and NMDA receptors,
as well as inhibits the neuronal reuptake of dopamine. By ingesting MXE, we agonize NMDA, slightly agonize µ-opioid receptors and promote the presence of dopamine in the synapses of our pre-frontal cortex (PFC). It's a disaster in the making - combining the effects of opiates, amphetamines and dissociatives as presented in one single compound!
The article infers that MXE's affinity for the µ-opioid receptor is negligible, but I contest this assertion. On a hefty dose of Methoxetamine (~125mg plugged) I was orbiting the rings of Neptune to such an extent that I yearned for sleep and peace. I had an 8mg Buprenorphine / 2 mg Nalaxone sublingual strip, and cut it into eight pieces. The moment I let 1 mg of the Suboxone dissolve, I went into immediate, intense opiate withdrawal. Despite what the following excerpt from the article says,it is my experience that MXE exerts a clinically significant effect on the µ-opioid receptors.
the aforementioned article said:
The µ-opioid receptor is generally thought to initiate the euphoric, reinforcing effects of heroin and co. Recent work by J. V. Wallach on the pharmacology of 3-MeO-PCP has shown that it actually has insignificant affinity for the µ-opioid receptor, which suggests that methoxetamine is quite possibly an insignificant opioid as well. This is not to say methoxetamine is not addictive or pleasurable, simply that it probably produces said effects through a different pharmacological mechanism.
I often wonder what that different pharmacological mechanism is, because, based on my own experience, the author of said quote is correct in my mind.
Therefore, the "triangle" presents itself:
1.) NMDA affinity
2.) µ-opioid receptor affinity
3.) DA re-uptake inhibitor
1 + 2 + 3 = Delicious. That is why I find myself clinically addicted to 2-(3-methoxyphenyl)-2-(ethylamino)cyclohexanone.
With that laid out (and I've meant to type it out for months now), I shall proceed onward. I want to engage these thoughtful questions that Rorthron had the wisdom and foresight to list for us.
What is your daily/weekly/monthy consumption?
500-1,000mg/day
For how long have you been doing it? And how, if at all, your pattern of use has changed?
I have been using Methoxetamine since February 1st, 2010. It began with a 5mg allergy test, performed sublingually, and escalated rather rapidly to a month daily dosing of 2x 150mg insufflated. I progressed, and insodoing discovered that sublingual/buccal administration was superior to insufflation by two-fold. Recognizing the fact that MXE diffused through my mucous membranes with ease led me to my preferred ROA, administering the MXE solution rectally. Later I discovered the whimseys of intra-muscular injection
What is your usual ROA?
Plugging/Sublingual/IM (on occasion)
Do you feel you are addicted? If yes, do you think you can stop?
Absolutely, I do feel I am addicted. Methoxetamine, with its wild and varied properties, has become my sojourn from the "rat race" of working at a psychiatric facility. I have a long history of opiate/opioid, benzodiazepine and barbiturate addiction. MXE fits nicely with the rest of the crew - it is no wonder to me that I find myself addicted to it.
Have you tried to quit? or do you want to stop using it?
I lost the love of my life, a three year relationship, over Methoxetamine addiction. It sounds too awful to be true, yet it happened. There was one point where I was sitting home, alone, after she had moved out, after I had returned my engagement ring. There was no furniture - a single light bulb provided vision. I had emptied three 35 lb tanks of nitrous oxide, had done over 12 grams of MXE in 7 days, and I looked at my stash. Nine grams left. I have never, ever, EVER, done this before; but I stood up, and dumped the remainder of my methoxetamine into the toilet. I raised my arms in triumph! It was too thrilling to dictate by word. Truly. That was in early June, 2011. Guess what? It's now September 27th (the 2-year anniversary of my friend's death-by-speadball) and I've written this whole post through squinted eyes and behind 575mg MXE plugged. THAT is addiction. THIS is addiction. I want to dissociate; I want to crumble, and I say this: Methoxethamine has raped from me my vitality. I have been left wilted. Heroin could never have devastated me so thoroughly.
I am fearful of being too expansive here. Yet, I have been lost in the "triangle" for a long while now. Methoxethamine is akin to diamorphine; it is at once beautiful and devastating. Responsible use yields promise, but I have demonstrated my incapacity for responsibility over the years.
An excerpt from something I wrote to myself as I was about to lose my significant other due to MXE abuse: "I must realize that when I ingest this compound I am liable to display psychotic features such as:
1. Panic/Anxiety
2. Suicidal Ideation
3. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
4. Fearfulness
5. Visual, Auditory, Tactile & Olfactory hallucinations
6. Mania
7. Depression/Derealization
8. Euphoria
Do you have any withdrawal symptoms? - Yes!
Lethargy
Dysphoria
Anhedonia
RLS
Insomnia
Cold sweats
Spastic muscle movements
How does MXE addiction compares to other drugs addiction? E.g. Tobacco, Cannabis, Heroin, Cocaine
I've been able to consume heroic doses of cannabis, tobacco, opiates, cocaine, meth/amphetamines, psychedelics, barbiturates and benzodiazepines, and remained functional. I was even a functional Ketamine addict.
The difference?
>I cannot conceive a scenario where one is addicted to Methoxetamine and yet remains, in the
barest sense of the word,
functional.
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Not Worth It._________________________
~ vaya
