methamphetamine - not quitting soon

[SxCrAvEr]

Hi Dragon Catcher. Im glad that you are not letting others effect your decissions or how you feel about your use, and I know it hurts when the opinions of others are from those that you may care about. I am a fairly new user myself, I keep on the way low, with very few (2) people. I keep a full time job and raise my boys just fine. Mom knows when it's a good time to let her hair down and when it would not be appropriate. I have been susspected and judged, by my own son who was a herion addict himself, though I never would have nor have admitted to doing the meth to my son. I love the way meth makes me feel and from the moment I start, I cant wait for the third day. I have actually got that schedule now to work out perfectly without impacting anything or anyone in my life. When my boys are off with Dad or going for a weekend, it's a perfect opportunity for me to find that place I enjoy so much. The first few times I used, I didn't really know how to use so the effects were mild. But the 3rd midnight is the most amazing. I know meth effects people in different ways, but I am in shear bliss that 3rd night anticipating all the visitors and the visible energy around me. It's amazing every time and it had never scared me, not in the least bit. It is very enjoyable. And once you sleep after, things go pretty much back to normal. Nothing negative there. If it's done at the right time, the right place.. it can be very fun.

I find this very amazing that you get such enjoyment out of meth.
For me, I don't think I have such good self-control as you do. I did have a hard time being hooked on it for a few years and I managed to get off it and I have never touched since. What I find though that from the moment I inhaled that first puff till the moment I fell asleep or crashed, all I could think of was sex, sex and more sex. However, I didn't have a lot like others, like: 1.5gr with 3 days and whatnot. I had about 0.5gr in the period of 3-4 days. I didn't have the euphoric feelings like others described. It could be that I was too busy thinking about and having sex to be feeling it

 

[Jesabelle]

wow sounds sociopathic^ but hey it takes all sorts eh

you cant help how your brain is wired no more than anyone else

That's exactly what I thought. An apathetic, bored, reckless tweaker with nothing to lose is a bit scary. No offense, 88James.

 

[Kilfer]

wow sounds sociopathic^ but hey it takes all sorts eh

Schizoid. Schizoids enjoy spending a lot of time on their own but they have a social life nonetheless, and boundaries. Sociopaths have no conscience at all and could care less about others besides from causing them harm for amusement. They don't post on forums seeking advice or opinions for which they don't give a rat's ass.

 

[pofacedhoe]

Schizoid. Schizoids enjoy spending a lot of time on their own but they have a social life nonetheless, and boundaries. Sociopaths have no conscience at all and could care less about others besides from causing them harm for amusement. They don't post on forums seeking advice or opinions for which they don't give a rat's ass.

oh okay if you say so. there are degrees of sociopathy and upbringing plays a part in how callous you can get. there are lots of sociopaths with jobs chillin out and just like anyone else they can have varied interests. of which the internet could be one.

sweeping statements fails to take in the fact that everyone is different

 

[UnclSamsMsgdedChld]

I know exactly what you mean man, I am so incapable of feeling anything almost all the time, however I don't feel like I have any problems, as it made all the difference over seas in combat, because I literally lacked any sort of remorse. Nice to see people who experience similar psychological patterns

 

[the_ketaman]

I think your doing way too much meth. I don't know one person that has come out a better person coz of methamphetamine. And your tolerance will only grow. I've been using for 10 years and I'd struggle to get through a gram in 3 days.

Please just don't start injecting it. I have a 0.1-0.2g shot about once a week and it has severely damaged many aspects of my life. And my use is nothing in comparison to the full on addicts I know. Its a fucked up drug I wish I never tried. And I was badly addicted to heroinfor years and have few regrets about that.

People are talking about you coz they care. Everyone's given up on me.

 

[van_go_88]

I quit crystal recently. Well, it was either that or stay in an abusive relationship. From my experience, meth didn't seem addictive in the beginning. I didn't need it every day, had the "perfect" boyfriend, and felt accepted by his friends. But this fantasy is short lived. The people who protect you also turn on you worse than ever, you're awake 24/7, and don't notice that you've dropped 20 pounds. I never got aggressive, but my ex sure would be (either on it or craving it). Some people I knew (but not everyone) just could not control their anger from being addicted to it.

 

[van_go_88]

I think your doing way too much meth. I don't know one person that has come out a better person coz of methamphetamine. And your tolerance will only grow. I've been using for 10 years and I'd struggle to get through a gram in 3 days.

Please just don't start injecting it. I have a 0.1-0.2g shot about once a week and it has severely damaged many aspects of my life. And my use is nothing in comparison to the full on addicts I know. Its a fucked up drug I wish I never tried. And I was badly addicted to heroinfor years and have few regrets about that.

People are talking about you coz they care. Everyone's given up on me.

Sometimes when people care they have an odd way of showing it. There are always people who care, but don't know what to say or do. So they distance themselves. At least that's what I tell myself.

 

[kittens_mittens]

bro 1.5 g's would last me 2 weeks..

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I think your doing way too much meth. I don't know one person that has come out a better person coz of methamphetamine. And your tolerance will only grow. I've been using for 10 years and I'd struggle to get through a gram in 3 days.

Please just don't start injecting it. I have a 0.1-0.2g shot about once a week and it has severely damaged many aspects of my life. And my use is nothing in comparison to the full on addicts I know. Its a fucked up drug I wish I never tried. And I was badly addicted to heroinfor years and have few regrets about that.

People are talking about you coz they care. Everyone's given up on me.

I agree with what you said.

People just care about you Dragon Catcher. Stay safe. Get help either by going to a detox/rehab, and CMA, or somehow stop using meth as nothing good will come from continuing to use it.

I know people who are in their early 60s who started using meth in the 70s and they're still into using it in 2015.

 

[exotica5150]

I believe so, if your shooting. Otherwise I know u can really "pipe drunk" if u smoke it anyways... I've seen a buddy of mine stay awake, no joke but about a month! He was seeing the "shadow people" everywhere. Pretty bad. Had to send him home after he visited fo few hours. So much to handle at times

 

[Derschieber]

If can control your meth-use. What does that even mean? Control it means you can stop using it. So stop it already. For 6 months...it's easy, no problem. You've got control, right? It will still be there next year...so for now you stop. Control.
You've got nothing under control. You're up to your neck. You have no clue as to how to stop using. You can not even bring yourself to want to stop using. You are out of control.
If you were dear to me, I'd find you and let you know exactly what time it is.
Your folly is very great.

 

[Renz Envy]

IMO if people (who don't also do the drug) know you're doing it, it's a problem

Too bad you weren't born like me. I don't have a conscience. For as long as I can remember I haven't been capable of feeling love, empathy, or fear. Well, actually I can feel fear but not on the same spectrum as normal people do. I'm an only child who grew up with two very loving parents who are still together as far as I know but I haven't spoken to either of them for five years. Anyway, last year I tried meth in Phnom Penh and I fell in love with it. After trying it that first time I skipped the whole weekend warrior beginner phase and just continued to binge in my $7 a night room for the next four months. It was a continuous cycle of tweaking for four days and sleeping for two. I never felt guilty or worried about what my family would think of me but then again I never feel guilt or think about my family even when I'm sober. Now I'm back in China on a teaching contract that'll finally be over in August. All I can think about now is August when I'll be on a plane back to Cambodia with enough money to binge for a whole year without having to work. Couldn't sleep at all last night because I was thinking about meth again and an hour from now I've gotta go teach kids. Anyway, if you care about what your family, or even worse, what society thinks of you you probably shouldn't use this drug at all. As a "meth lover" I'm truly blessed with my affliction since it allows me to use without any guilt whatsoever. Also, when I've been up for days and start to think people are watching me and maybe wanting to kill or bust me I don't freak out because in the end I really don't give a shit.

I've heard sh*t like this regurgitated to me by so many tweak-fiends it's not even funny.

Sorry, that wasn't my intention. I could see how that could be depressing. Look at it from my perspective though. I don't really fully understand what I'm missing out on as far as love and relationships go. Life to me is just a big school/playground. I'm uninhibited on a level that most people will never get to experience and I don't ever get lonely, homesick, depressed, or irrational. I only get extremely bored sometimes and that's the closest I'll ever get to feeling alone or sad.

I bet if you took a couple years off meth use and your "philosophy" will change completely.

 

[Pagey]

I'm going to close this because of the irrelevance to SLR - and I think you've gotten the answers you needed/all the type of answers you're likely to get, OP. Feel free to PM me if you want this thread re-opened or to discuss anything.