HoodSniff
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2010
- Messages
- 6
I've been an on and off meth user for going on 12 years now...and it has brought its share of problems for me...ie. loss of emotional control, violence, eviction...but it has never made me turn against my own basic morals...I've never betrayed anyone because of, or for cystal meth. This, in my experience, makes me a member of a tiny minority amongst meth users.
Almost everyone that I know that uses meth has betrayed their family, friends, or significant other while high. It could be something as simple as stealing from a loved one to support the habit...but usually it is the grand betrayal: cheating sex or abandoning a good loving relationship in order to be "in the lifestyle"
The decadence becomes too tempting for even the most loyal honest people...I recently lost my girl this way: We were together for 3 years!! One minute we were both working, and getting ahead, and using only on a part time basis, the next I was out on my ass while she proceeded to hook up with a close mutual friend for sex and junky times together. Needless to say she immediately was full time into the daily habit..and she acted like she'd done nothing wrong "I'm much happier now than I was with you"
Now, two months later, she has no job, no phone, the power has been cut off at the house she lives in, and she is no doubt facing eviction. Yet she talks about the fiends she live with like they were her family...and still she acts like she made a ratoinal decision when she betrayed me and turned her back on me.
And this was the chick who (before this happened) I considered to be the most loyal, trustworthy, honest, and solid females I'd ever known.
I wonder why, despite many opportunities, I've never been able to make myself surrender to the act of laying down my morality....Self-Esteem, I guess...one has to hold on tight to THAT when one uses meth
Almost everyone that I know that uses meth has betrayed their family, friends, or significant other while high. It could be something as simple as stealing from a loved one to support the habit...but usually it is the grand betrayal: cheating sex or abandoning a good loving relationship in order to be "in the lifestyle"
The decadence becomes too tempting for even the most loyal honest people...I recently lost my girl this way: We were together for 3 years!! One minute we were both working, and getting ahead, and using only on a part time basis, the next I was out on my ass while she proceeded to hook up with a close mutual friend for sex and junky times together. Needless to say she immediately was full time into the daily habit..and she acted like she'd done nothing wrong "I'm much happier now than I was with you"
Now, two months later, she has no job, no phone, the power has been cut off at the house she lives in, and she is no doubt facing eviction. Yet she talks about the fiends she live with like they were her family...and still she acts like she made a ratoinal decision when she betrayed me and turned her back on me.
And this was the chick who (before this happened) I considered to be the most loyal, trustworthy, honest, and solid females I'd ever known.
I wonder why, despite many opportunities, I've never been able to make myself surrender to the act of laying down my morality....Self-Esteem, I guess...one has to hold on tight to THAT when one uses meth
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
