Nozphexezora
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2012
- Messages
- 540
Hello,
Three to four weeks ago I had a relapse, and I am currently using 700g-1kg poppy seeds a day, which isn't much but it's rapidly increasing. I was 5 weeks clean before I had a relapse and took codeine "just to see what it's like again." Obviously it hasn't worked out well, and I'm going nowhere with this shit. I went to a psychiatrist about my addiction and depression, and he claims that I can't be treated for depression until I get out of this addiction at least slightly. So he suggested that I go see ATODS (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs Services) on Monday and there I will meet a physician. He said that they would most likely put me on methadone since last time I tried quitting I had terrible withdrawals (vomiting, muscle spasms, no sleep, no eating, cold sweats, body and muscle aches etc.)
I understand that the methadone program is a good substitute, provided that they give me small doses. I think I can manage with small doses of methadone, as I don't want to entirely substitute one addiction for another. However, I'm worried that they won't give me anything at all. I have gone to my GP twice, gone to two other GPs a year ago, and gone through a psych ward where they put me on valium for 8 days (the detox phase); and none of them even mentioned this program. I feel that it's ideal for me, as I seriously cannot do this by myself. I have my Dad and Step-Mom and a Drug Arm councellor, but words only go so far - especially when I know that taking any more just worsens it. I feel as though I should have been put on some medication to help cope through all of this to begin with, but the most I was given was antidepressants and valium during my PAWS. I don't just want to get high and exploit these programs, because I'll bloody take naltroxene and go cold turkey if I have to, so long as there's something to aid my attempt this time.
I made this thread with the hope that my fellow bluelight members could give me some advice; is methadone/buprenorphine/other in a clinic a good idea? If so, do you think they will actually administer the medication or just send me on my merry way like the last few times? Should I explain to them the concept of "poppy seed tea", or should I just say morphine and codeine so as to avoid that confusion that can so easily be identified by the doctor's facial expression? Sorry if this is in the wrong area, again, but I thought Australian drug discussion would be able to help considering the laws are relative. I just feel like there's no fucking point in going to these clinics and seeing these doctors, because all they do is send me off to someone else or give me a website address or give me some half-arsed advice. My GP didn't even give me sleeping medication until I was 4 weeks sober, and even then the sleeping medication was an anti-depressant substitute (Avanza) and it barely even works as an anti-depressant. I always feel like shit both physically and mentally.
Sorry for ranting, i'll just wrap this up.
Leave any advice or helpful experiences below and I'll get around to reading them.
Thankyou in advance,
Nozphexezora
Three to four weeks ago I had a relapse, and I am currently using 700g-1kg poppy seeds a day, which isn't much but it's rapidly increasing. I was 5 weeks clean before I had a relapse and took codeine "just to see what it's like again." Obviously it hasn't worked out well, and I'm going nowhere with this shit. I went to a psychiatrist about my addiction and depression, and he claims that I can't be treated for depression until I get out of this addiction at least slightly. So he suggested that I go see ATODS (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs Services) on Monday and there I will meet a physician. He said that they would most likely put me on methadone since last time I tried quitting I had terrible withdrawals (vomiting, muscle spasms, no sleep, no eating, cold sweats, body and muscle aches etc.)
I understand that the methadone program is a good substitute, provided that they give me small doses. I think I can manage with small doses of methadone, as I don't want to entirely substitute one addiction for another. However, I'm worried that they won't give me anything at all. I have gone to my GP twice, gone to two other GPs a year ago, and gone through a psych ward where they put me on valium for 8 days (the detox phase); and none of them even mentioned this program. I feel that it's ideal for me, as I seriously cannot do this by myself. I have my Dad and Step-Mom and a Drug Arm councellor, but words only go so far - especially when I know that taking any more just worsens it. I feel as though I should have been put on some medication to help cope through all of this to begin with, but the most I was given was antidepressants and valium during my PAWS. I don't just want to get high and exploit these programs, because I'll bloody take naltroxene and go cold turkey if I have to, so long as there's something to aid my attempt this time.
I made this thread with the hope that my fellow bluelight members could give me some advice; is methadone/buprenorphine/other in a clinic a good idea? If so, do you think they will actually administer the medication or just send me on my merry way like the last few times? Should I explain to them the concept of "poppy seed tea", or should I just say morphine and codeine so as to avoid that confusion that can so easily be identified by the doctor's facial expression? Sorry if this is in the wrong area, again, but I thought Australian drug discussion would be able to help considering the laws are relative. I just feel like there's no fucking point in going to these clinics and seeing these doctors, because all they do is send me off to someone else or give me a website address or give me some half-arsed advice. My GP didn't even give me sleeping medication until I was 4 weeks sober, and even then the sleeping medication was an anti-depressant substitute (Avanza) and it barely even works as an anti-depressant. I always feel like shit both physically and mentally.
Sorry for ranting, i'll just wrap this up.
Leave any advice or helpful experiences below and I'll get around to reading them.
Thankyou in advance,
Nozphexezora