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Opioids Methadone and MMT in general. How did it work for you?

EveryStar

Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2007
Messages
922
Mods, feel free to move this if this is not the correct forum to post this, but apart from BDD and DC, or maybe even TR, I don't see where else I could post this.

Basically, I'm just wondering how Methadone Maintenance Treatment has been for everybody here who decided to kick their dope/opes addiction with 'done. Your experience with it, thoughts, pros and cons, etc. I'm curious and interested how different people react to this form of treatment, everything from glowing success "Saved my life" reports down to horror stories, getting hooked on 'done worse than dope, trying to kick, etc.

I have been going to one of my local methadone clinics (I'm in Houston and as far as I know (not that I've bothered looking much), there seems to be only one healthcare provider in the city that operates clinics here, it's the same firm (Texas Clinic...vague and nondescript, but assumedly better than "Methadone Dispensary" or "Junkie Care, Inc") that operates the handful (less than half a dozen) of clinics in the city...I can't imagine what a nightmare it might be to be a junkie in Podunk, WY (pop. 119) and have to wake up at 3 every morning to make a 4 hour drive to some out-of-state clinic) since February 23rd, 2010. I had been trying to kick dope on my own, since around early December 2009, buying street Suboxone and methadone, but that didn't work.

All I can say is that it fucking saved my goddamn life. Turned it completely around. My friend who quit cold turkey loves to brag about how easy kicking is and that I'm a pussy for not doing it the hard way, etc, but fuck it is the biggest change I've made to my life in years. I've got my life back, and it's super. It's super to get your vitality and liveliness back, to quit thinking about your next fix at every hour of the day and night, wasting money, doing shady shit, etc. I'm fully aware I just traded one addiction (heroin) for another (methadone), which is arguably not much better, but at least it's safe, controlled, and cheap. No more living a double-life, one as a student, son, friend, and one as a dopesick junkie. I know it's not all rainbows and unicorns, I know methadone is fucking addictive as hell, I know I'm still hooked to a chemical one way or the other, but I definitely prefer this lifestyle.

So, what are your experiences with treatment? How long have you been in treatment, are you still in treatment, did it work out for you, etc, etc, I wanna hear it all, so, shoot.
 
I am really torn with how I feel about methadone, and about my treatment, and what path I want to take. (if anyone has any input PLEASE tell me).

I wanna keep this as short as possible so people actually read it

Background: started with oxy's..addicted for 2 years, was using around 300-400mg a day. Started dope maybe 6 months ago, mainly sniffed it, was sniffing anywhere from 2-3 bundles a day (white powder heroin from paterson). So for the past year I've been basically using oxy/h, then going on sub when money ran out/withdrawals got bad (stuck in this loop lol).

why i got on mmt: So I decided to get on a methadone program after going on a H binge after getting my massive tax return. the switch to sub was goign to be so hard to make it to the point where I could dose, and I just wanted to try somethign new, becuase I didnt feel right on suboxone, stable, always up and down crying and shit. If I could use bupe right and just get on it and not take any othe ropiates, I would feel OK, but I would always end up using. bupe just did nto satisfy my craving, i was ALWAYS thinkin about using. I figured since meth is a full agonist I would at least feel better mentally and be less depressed

mmt treatment
: So I got on methadone about a month ago, they wanted to put me at 80mg which took about 2 weks to build up to. On one hand, I dont wanna go up becuase I know I gotto come back down, but on the other hand, I feel like I need more (see cons below).

pros: My cravings are basically almost non existant except when I just get that urge to get high. I feel a LOT more stable then I did on suboxone.

In the past month I used maybe 4 times (on top of my methadone) which is basically nothing compared to how I was. On suboxone, I know for sure I would be using

it realyl is keeping me clean off H..becuase with sub you can skip a dose, take a lower dose etc.. whenever you want at your own discretion, with meth you go every day. So I don't take these "vacations" from my treatment to get high.

Cons: you have to go every day to dose

I feel fine during the day after I dose, not high but OK and 100% normal and good to go to work etc.., by 7pm my pupils are huge, but its not like I am withdrawing and in pain, but I do feel less sociable, I find my self just wantin to go home and do nothing smoke weed and go to sleep after work.

I get these waves of tiredness really bad

when I wake up, I am not withdrawing like you would be hen you wake up dependant on h, but I just don;t feel right in my head, im like FUCK another day of life, then I dose and i feel better.

I also feel kind of trapped..like if I wanna go on vacation, until I get take homes you gotto set up guest dosing and all that bull shit.
concerns/questions: My biggest concern is that by the tiem I am out of work, while I feel completely fine to chill by my self, I don't feel sociable, I am tired, etc... couch potatoish

I am at 80mg, do you tihnk I should up my dose?

I am really torn what to do, on one hand i want to go back to suboxone, so I can dose on my own, whenever I want, but I know I will end up using again, the meth is keeping me away from heroin. I atually have MONEY in my pocket (even though I blow a lot on weed). But it'';s crazy how much money you have when arnt driving to pateron 3 times a day

On the other hand, methadone is working, I am actually staying clean not using short acting opiates like heroin and oxy which is something that hasnt happen in a long time.

One part of me just wants to attempt complete sobriety, since ive only been on meth like a month, I was thinking to just jump off where I am at 80mg wait 4-5 days and go on suboxone..I have 23 8mg subutex, use those for as long as I can, then just stop everything all together and tough out the withdrawals.

Sorry that wasnt short at all haha.
 
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WARNING: LONG POST - If you do not want to read the whole novel, skip to the red text at the bottom for the gist of my post. Thank you.

I have only been on MMT here in NJ for a couple of months now, but it honestly is going really well. Better than I ever could have imagined. I'm only 21, but my life was honestly almost as far down as it could possibly get. I had practically given up hope in everything. I was a sometimes suicidal heroin addict. My father had just died last year, and everything really really really took a turn for the worse. Addiction spiraled out of control, and i had moved back home a year or so before this since my dad's sickness had been getting progressively worse. After he died, it was just my Mom and I living in our small rented house. She had survived cancer and had a few other illnesses as well, and could not work. Financially, we were barely scraping by, and my dope problem did not help anything obviously. We were on teh verge of getting kicked out.

Then I went to rehab a couple times, didn't work. I started getting really sick during my third stint rehab, so they basically made me go to the hospital. But, they made me pack my fucking bags before I went, and couldn't come back because they gave my bed up.. Sucked. I was actually doing really well at that rehab.

At the hospital, they found out that my right lung was totally filled with fluid, and there was fluid around my heart, putting immense pressure on my heart. They did emergency surgery as my blood oxygen level was less than 50 (should be near 100). They didn't know how I was able to walk into the hospital. The pressure on my heart could have put me into cardiac arrest apparently any day since I waited so long to go to the hospital. They drained all the fluid, and put two tubes sticking out of my chest that i had to have connected for a week, to drain any excess.

After(during?) surgery they found I had swollen lymph nodes, and eventually did a cat scan. They found many swollen lymph nodes, and a huge mass (tumor) in my chest, and a few on my lower spine. I got diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Cancer. CANCER ?! FUCKING SHIT ! GREAT! !!@$* How could my life get ANY FUCKING WORSE at this point, I thought to myself.

Anyways, I got out of the hospital after 17 days clean, and immediately started shooting dope again, being at the lowest of lows mentally, and physically. I just didn't give a fuck about living. Things getting worse at home, ruining relationships, etc. Sucked. I couldn't fucking take it, and was so torn up inside about putting my mom through all this shit that I continued to do regardless. I could not get into any inpatient rehabs because of the fact that I was going through chemo-therapy, and it was too "complicated" because of that. Bullshit.

Finally, I found an MMT clinic fairly close to me (20 min), and called, and got in. I was apprehensive at first. But after getting up to a comfortable dose, it was fine. Currently I have no cravings really, and physically feel okay, at least in the withdrawal aspect. The cancer is pretty rough on my body too. I'm basically stabilized now at 75 mg, and feel pretty good. My mood has improved, and I really feel more capable and human. I am more motivated to go out and get things done. Focus on my chemo therapy, and cancer recovery. My mom is a million times happier, and our relationship is improving. My friends who didn't give up on me, that aren't junkies, took me back, and things are great in that regard. I still smoke bud, and take the occasional benzo, but haven't shot dope in about two months, it feels great!

Overall, MMT saved my life. Things are still rough, but I feel more capable of taking these things on and making my life go more towards a positive direction. The relationships I have with my non junkie friends and my Mom, especially, are improving drastically. It feels great. I can also focus on my cancer recovery much more, and things are looking good with my recovery, the tumors are shrinking. I feel pretty good physically, and better mentally, since I got relatively stable at my current dose of 75 mg. I may go up a bit more, but am gonna hang here for another week and see how it goes. I know some may not have success with MMT, but I truly believe anybody who is actually serious about stopping their addiction to dope or pills or whatever, and understands it is a commitment, and work the program can have success with MMT.

Sorry for the novel, but I'm stoned and in a great mood on this beautiful morning. Cheers, all !!
 
MMT has helped me to really change the course of my life. I was going down a horrible path and I'm greatful that methadone has helped me to realize that I don't want to be an opiate addict stuck in active adiction for the rest of my life. When you're using every day you kind of just accept things as being how they are. Well in my opinion being a junkie is no way to live. Now the possibilities are endless; I can go back to school and get my degree, go back to work and actually hold down a job, or just whatever I choose to do I now have the confidence and determination to do it...when I was doing heroin every day I did not have the drive to do anything but do/get drugs. MMT has been a life-saver for me.
 
I am on 200 mgs, in NYC, and use methadone whenever I am in the US. I primarily live in the Philippines where it is not even in the pharmocopiea, let alone available for MMT/MAT.

In the Philippines I maintain with morphine sulphate instant release oral tabs (10,20 and 30 mg). They are are pure morphine, talc and colour and totally water soluble. However, I take them as directed, orally. In addition I am able to get fentanyl (Durogesic, bit different than US Duragesic, as they have no gel) and oxycodone (instant release tablets from Mundipharma, French import).

Even with morphine, fentanyl and oxycodone I actually prefer methadone. Its main selling point is its insanely long half life. You can dose once every 3 days if need be (if you are a long term user) though the once a day is how it is designed to be taken.

Fentanyl is fine but you need to use a large number of patches to adequtely medicate. Oxycodone ad morphine are OK as well until you build tolerance, which happens quickly. At that point you have to redose every 6 to 8 hours and it becomes the center of your life in a way methadone never could.

Methadone allows me to function as "Joe Citizen" and all the horrow stories are almost all old wives' tales. If I was able, I would use it across the board.

One alternative I would accept would be DHC/DF118 (dihydrocodeinone). In Cambodia they worked wonders. They are used in parts of Europe for maintenance and have gotten rave reviews clinically as well. I used the French Import Dicodin LP60, 60 mg extended release tabs. Actually works better thab methadone in my case.

As far as how methadone has "saved" me...I was compelled to begin by the army (IDF, Israel), given a choice of Maintenance or Cashier (discharge). I chose methadone and it has been abour 21 years now, on and off as I travel a lot.

The poster who remarked about saucer eyes in the evening...You are inadequately medicated and it is a common complaint. You should have pinned pupils for at least 48 hours. Ask your provider for a Trough Test (it is a pain to wait 4 hours at the clinic but your body and your life will thank you).
 
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