Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
After my first go on meth maybe 4-5 years ago got out of control and tipped into daily IV usage and psychosis I swore I would never try it again but for the last 2 months or so I have been trying to manage a low-impact binge by using it differently in the belief that it was lack of sleep and the post-high crash that caused the major problems and not so much the drug itself. Today seems to be the end of this second meth adventure as my Harm Reduction strategy worked a little too well and made meth unusable and a huge waste of money. In the last 3 days I've basically wasted 2 grams as having zero effect. The desperation to have an effect also resulted in some sketchy wounds on my arms and some blown out veins.
Basically I have been going for 36 hours high followed by 12-24 hours chilling by forcing myself to sleep using seroquel. I believed the seroquel mitigated the crash, caused sleep and generated an appetite which all seemed like a win-win. Over two months I rarely felt 'down' and cravings were pretty mild. However, although this worked for a while I am, now at the point where meth is no longer working in most respects. When I take it IV I get a mild heate wave flush rather than a euphoric rush and then promptly get tired and have no major increase in mental or physical energy. I also restarted my Abilify dosage about a week ago.
When I began 2 months ago 1 point was my limit for a shot and that would send me round the racetrack for a good 6-8 hours before I would consider redosing and a gram would last several days. Often I would lack at the bag and say "I'll never get through all that"....
3 days ago I did a gram in 18 hours with up to 2 points shots. I had horniness but no other energy and instead of jerking off for 12 hours I gave up after about 30 minutes as too much effort. However, while tired I was mentally ok and capable of attending a business meeting and dinner with a bunch of straight people and conducting myself sensibly and (according to their subsequent emails) contributing valuably to the proceedings.
Using seroquel I slept for 6 hours or so every 36-48 hours until yesterday when I did a gram in a little under 12 hours and wanted to just go to bed after the last - get this - 3 point shot.
I have never really experienced total stim tolerance before and as I was using meth from 3 different sources (which had each blown my mind of earlier occasions) the lack of impact was internal to me.
I think what was happening was that I was becoming tolerant to the meth while the seroquel was reducing the threshold for tolerance until meth had no impact whatsoever. The seroquel also reduces the comedown effects (off which I have basically none) and I feel totally calm as if I had never had meth in my life and had no idea what a comedown was. I've just spent 8 hours lying down listening to chill music and feeling quite cheery with no craving.
My reason for posting this info is to counter earlier posts I had made praising seroquel a bit too much for taking the lows out of stim binges. I would more correctly believe it has a role to play in the cessation of stim use by taking the fun out of it permanently. However, for all those posters asking "how do I quit meth" this might be an idea to follow up on.
For me the challenge is to make the positive choice to keep on the anti-psychotics and likely therefore stay of stims completely.
Basically I have been going for 36 hours high followed by 12-24 hours chilling by forcing myself to sleep using seroquel. I believed the seroquel mitigated the crash, caused sleep and generated an appetite which all seemed like a win-win. Over two months I rarely felt 'down' and cravings were pretty mild. However, although this worked for a while I am, now at the point where meth is no longer working in most respects. When I take it IV I get a mild heate wave flush rather than a euphoric rush and then promptly get tired and have no major increase in mental or physical energy. I also restarted my Abilify dosage about a week ago.
When I began 2 months ago 1 point was my limit for a shot and that would send me round the racetrack for a good 6-8 hours before I would consider redosing and a gram would last several days. Often I would lack at the bag and say "I'll never get through all that"....
3 days ago I did a gram in 18 hours with up to 2 points shots. I had horniness but no other energy and instead of jerking off for 12 hours I gave up after about 30 minutes as too much effort. However, while tired I was mentally ok and capable of attending a business meeting and dinner with a bunch of straight people and conducting myself sensibly and (according to their subsequent emails) contributing valuably to the proceedings.
Using seroquel I slept for 6 hours or so every 36-48 hours until yesterday when I did a gram in a little under 12 hours and wanted to just go to bed after the last - get this - 3 point shot.
I have never really experienced total stim tolerance before and as I was using meth from 3 different sources (which had each blown my mind of earlier occasions) the lack of impact was internal to me.
I think what was happening was that I was becoming tolerant to the meth while the seroquel was reducing the threshold for tolerance until meth had no impact whatsoever. The seroquel also reduces the comedown effects (off which I have basically none) and I feel totally calm as if I had never had meth in my life and had no idea what a comedown was. I've just spent 8 hours lying down listening to chill music and feeling quite cheery with no craving.
My reason for posting this info is to counter earlier posts I had made praising seroquel a bit too much for taking the lows out of stim binges. I would more correctly believe it has a role to play in the cessation of stim use by taking the fun out of it permanently. However, for all those posters asking "how do I quit meth" this might be an idea to follow up on.
For me the challenge is to make the positive choice to keep on the anti-psychotics and likely therefore stay of stims completely.
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