Meth taking over me slowly

[Jerry1427]

I am 24. Great family great friends great girlfriend. 2018 brand new car, always been that popular guy. Always been into drugs especially coke all throughout high school. Have everything going for myself & I recently got a promotion at another branch that left me unemployed for about a month. My new job starts in 2 weeks. About two years ago was the time I got my own place and moved out my parents etc. Long story short I was introduced into meth I?ve been doing it on and off ever since of course no one knows. My girlfriend has no idea she?s an English teacher st a high school and comes from an amazing family as do I. I?ve always dealt with bipolar ness and depression. I?ve been told I have an addictive personality and i agree. I?ve now been binging for at least 2 weeks straight. Having all this free time and going into depression has brought me here. Any advice anyone these two weeks will be my attempt to quit cold turkey like I?ve read on this site lol

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hey Jerry1427.

First of all, Welcome here to Bluelight.

Now, i can relate to you on multiple levels. I'm also bipolar, have an addictive personality, and recently got into meth. My advice would be to surround yourself with positivity. And with that we can help: Check out The Dark Side and Mental Health sub-forums. There you will find lots of support.

I'm sure your girl friend is a great part of your life, and although it is a secret to her, let her, and your new job, be the motivation. If you can handle Bipolar depression, you can handle meth withdrawal. I believe you truly can.

Glad to see you joined the team, Jerry.

See ya around and be safe!

 

[Jerry1427]

I honestly wrote that post in such a hurry just to see if I’d get a reply. I appreciate you taking the time to reach out. I am currently on a binge and quitting has been in the back of my mind for some time now, I never thought meth would be something I’d experience. Where I’m from it’s not at all sold or even used. Only light ever put on it was those videos at school showing the damage it can cause on ones appearance and health you know. I’m conscious of what I’m doing & realize how low it is. Although it hasn’t played a role in any of my bad luck to this day I know in a way it’s changing me slowly. I’m aware of this but yet wake up calling my plug on days I don’t have any or doing on days that I fell asleep on a binge. Part of me wants to come out and let my girlfriend in on what’s been happening but part of me doesn’t. Not in fear of being judged or abandoned by her. I just can’t help and wonder if I’m just high at the moment and in my feels about all this and Il be able to just let it go come Monday. I wonder because of my character and way I carry myself I’ve always been one to show strong self will. On the other hand I know there’s also a chance I’m letting it take over & im just making excuses not to take the steps I know will lead me to let it go. If this didn’t make sense I apologize but yeah kinda in the middle of my usual life epiphany while I binge

 

[Jabberwocky]

I hear you, same with where i live. Tina is very new to the east coast, and the high school i went to was "above" meth.

But man, you've got quite the situation going on. If you're not afraid of being judged or abandoned, i think telling your girl is an excellent option. Just be honest. She can be your biggest support/motivation to quit. Your come down is going to be brutal, to be honest, and you'll need to be in a psychologically safe space. Your girl will see your change in mood. Let her help you, man. That's my opinion, but you might get better advise in the sub-forums i recommended in my other post.

Don't sell yourself short - maybe you showing strong self will is you actually having strong self will. If you can fake it you can make it.

Make sure you have some love in your life.
Love yourself and let yourself be loved.

 

[Jabberwocky]

How're you doing?