Meth feels like most damaging drug I used, caused brain-damaged feeling in a few uses

Shroomy,
I'm quite high strung myself and have an anxiety disorder, diagnosed. I cannot agree more with that statement as well, I would feel like absolute shit if I did even a 2 day binge.
You wouldn't believe the shit it's cut with; lithium (batteries not the antipsychotic), hydrochloric acid, acetone-nail polish remover, red phosphorous, ammonia, etc.

You're right though, everyone has their doc and I'm thinking it's just the brain wiring as well as what people like to feel like.
I think people like us with high anxiety go with the downers to mellow out like you said lol.
Like everyone loves weed but it has given me extreme panic attacks. I mostly avoid smoking but on the rare occasion I do, I make sure to only take like 4 hits hahah. Also benzos are a must, that goes without saying.
 
Our brain chemistry seems quite similar. Weed can give me such bad panic attacks off a single hit, that I feel it could give me a heart attack (when I have a low tolerance to it... if I smoke it a lot then the anxiety goes away pretty quick... but then I have to be a pothead). I do still smoke a little bit but it's really not for me, as it exacerbates my mental illness and it has to be an all or nothing thing for me. I used to smoke a lot when I was younger, before I realized there were better drugs to do.

I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder as well, since I was 25 so going on 4 years now. I have panic attacks every day... well I would if it wasn't for the clonazepam at least. I recently did a single line of coke and it fucked with me for days and days afterwards... my anxiety was the worst its ever been in years, the benzos were not even working it was so fucked. I was doing really stupid shit like popping 10mg xanax because I was that fucking anxious... it was totally cut with meth though because the shady fuck had that too, and the high seemed to linger forever after the coke wore off (I actually enjoyed the coke a bit, as it helped me concentrate on my guitar playing, but it's just too fucking stomped on). Stimulants are really not for me at all. I did the line because I was watching Boogie Nights... you know that movie directed by Paul Thomas Anderson with the actor in it who OD'd... Hoffman, when he was younger. I really liked his other films, Inherent Vice and The Master are just amazing. Not this one though. It was a weird movie about people making pornos and there was so much coke use in it... so monkey see, monkey do (lol). I did one line and I had an okay time for two hours and then it was hellish panic for days and days... stimulants are just fucked to me, they seem so unbelievably unhealthy for my body. I am a health freak apart from the drugs and I pay a lot of attention to my body. I prefer drugs that cause withdrawal symptoms and dependency, but do not seem damaging to health or lifestyle while I am using them - just when I want to try to quit, which never really works out anymore.

I get energized and euphoric from oxycodone and heroin... other people get sedated and talk about nodding, but I get a nice euphoric energy rush along with physical relaxation. It is honestly the perfect drug to me, oxycodone in particular. It's like it was designed for me and my problems. I only use it orally and I love it so much, even going on 4 years and being a total addict I just fucking love the stuff... I keep really busy when I'm on opiates and it is when my performance in almost all areas of life is at its best. Guitar for example... I will absolutely shred after a nice dose of oxycodone, and it helps me be creative, absolutely. It keeps me in the present moment while not dwelling on my thoughts, helps me focus, that is one of the reasons why I enjoy it so much apart from the relief of my chronic pain condition. I certainly don't really 'nod off' unless I am at the tail end of a line of good quality raw #4 after the rush of energy and euphoria.

Can you relate at all?
 
Shroomy,
I'm quite high strung myself and have an anxiety disorder, diagnosed. I cannot agree more with that statement as well, I would feel like absolute shit if I did even a 2 day binge.
You wouldn't believe the shit it's cut with; lithium (batteries not the antipsychotic), hydrochloric acid, acetone-nail polish remover, red phosphorous, ammonia, etc.
The chemicals you listed are used in synthesis of Methamp, they are NOT generally used as cuts. With street drugs, byproducts from synthesis can easily be leftover in the finished product, but to say these are used as cuts is inaccurate. Also, Lithium is Lithium. It is an element and a metal, and is found in trace amounts in all organisms. It is used in batteries AND as a bi-polar medication. It's the same thing. That is not to say it is safe to ingest however, as it has a very narrow therapeutic index that can easily lead to poisoning, which is why people on it really have to be monitored closely. No offense meant by this post, just wanted to clear up those inaccuracies.
 
Ive tried almost every drug out there several times each but after The first time i tried meth about a week later i found myself using every single day for The Next 6 months.. i never really gave my brain a break to recooperate. Binging without any sleep for as much as 5-7 days at a time with 4 hours of sleep between each binge. My brain feels very different these days, dont feel normal anymore and Ive been sober for 5 months..


Meth is very hard on the body and mind and it can take a year or longer to fully recover. What are your symptoms? Also, are you totally drug free?

Regarding which is worse, meth or MDMA I would have to say they are somewhat equal in terms of brain damage, but meth is far worse on the body. In terms of the brain, many pleasure receptors get destroyed with each use and several neurotransmitters get depleted so the user is left with fewer receptors and very low levels of the neurotransmitters required for pleasure, and that type of damage takes time to heal. You may want to consider antidepressants as a temporary measure to start feeling human again while you go through the healing process. Also try to eat clean, get plenty of sleep and have good sleep hygiene, and exercise.
 
First time i did meth did waaaay too much got phyocicis and was having conversatipn with no exostant pekple i thou hi t wrre in .y apartme t. And it was my second werk at my new job and i went to work on day 4 and 5 of no sleep im a roofer too so idk how yhe hell i didnt fall off the roof. I litterally felt like i didnt have a brain i felt like id never return to normal goin in public sucked i thought everyone in public knew every embassrsing fact about me and were all laughing at me. Meth is meant for moderattion i use it for work notas a party drug
 
Top