Meth fears after absence

[BBDP]

So I’ve been clean now since March 30th of this year. I have a vacation coming up and I wanted to have some buds over and slam some meth.

this time though I have a lot of anxiety and fear when I think of the slam. I’m worried I’m going to have a heart attack. I’ve never had a problem, except vomiting once after a slam. I only really ever do a 2, sometimes a 3.

But for some reason this time I’m scared. I take a pill for high blood pressure and smoke cigarettes.
Anyone have this type of fear(s) before a slam or partying?

 

[Pinkbeam]

I think being nervous before meth use after a long break is really normal, no matter what your ROA is. It's your body's way of responding because it knows how strong meth is, it remembers.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

So I’ve been clean now since March 30th of this year. I have a vacation coming up and I wanted to have some buds over and slam some meth.

this time though I have a lot of anxiety and fear when I think of the slam. I’m worried I’m going to have a heart attack. I’ve never had a problem, except vomiting once after a slam. I only really ever do a 2, sometimes a 3.

But for some reason this time I’m scared. I take a pill for high blood pressure and smoke cigarettes.
Anyone have this type of fear(s) before a slam or partying?

Why relapse if you've been clean that long? If I'm ever able to quit painkillers, I'm never looking back. I'm not sure if meth withdrawal is as bad as opiate withdrawal, but if you can overcome it, why put yourself through that again? Sorry if that sounds bitchy. I really have no room to talk in terms of sobriety anyway.

 

[chelle216]

This isn’t related to meth but I think it’s relevant. Ten months after I tapered off methadone I was craving a good shot of dope. Unlike you, my brain somehow short-circuited and didn’t even register that potentially devastating consequences could result. So what happened? I indiscriminately shot a bag. I recall my friend asking if I was ok and replying “I don’t know” before waking up in the hospital. To make matters worse, I went deaf for a day or two following the incident. I’d overdosed a few times before that, but this one was the defining moment that permanently put the kibosh on any IV use.

You’re having reservations for a reason. If you’re hellbent on using, why not chose another ROA as your tolerance is down anyway? Besides, the anxiety you’re feeling now will only multiply when you start to prep the shot which is likely to result in an additive increase in blood pressure and heart rate as opposed to IVing without any of these worries.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

This isn’t related to meth but I think it’s relevant. Ten months after I tapered off methadone I was craving a good shot of dope. Unlike you, my brain somehow short-circuited and didn’t even register that potentially devastating consequences could result. So what happened? I indiscriminately shot a bag. I recall my friend asking if I was ok and replying “I don’t know” before waking up in the hospital. To make matters worse, I went deaf for a day or two following the incident. I’d overdosed a few times before that, but this one was the defining moment that permanently put the kibosh on any IV use.

You’re having reservations for a reason. If you’re hellbent on using, why not chose another ROA as your tolerance is down anyway? Besides, the anxiety you’re feeling now will only multiply when you start to prep the shot which is likely to result in an additive increase in blood pressure and heart rate as opposed to IVing without any of these worries.

You mentioned you went deaf. I recently posted about oxy being a possible cause of deafness (Rush Limbaugh was an oxy addict and he's supposedly deaf now). I noticed that my hearing has declined and I've been told I'm a loud talker, which could be a result of hearing loss. I'm also a bartender and have worked in a loud bar every Friday since 2007, so that could also be a contributing factor.