whyers
Greenlighter
Mescaline is a beautiful drug.
What I have written below is a very small account of something I experienced whilst in the midst of a three day long mescaline binge. (Don’t give me that look!! 8( It had been AGES!!!) I chose to write about this one particular occurrence, mainly because even though relatively mild (considering some of the shit I did end up seeing that night, holy fuck!!) it’s something that I thought was quite moving, and interesting.
Can a person project their emotions onto you, as a way of dealing with extreme grief? Was it just the drugs? Or was it because of the drugs that I was able to ascend into a higher consciousness and visualise the otherwise invisible?
I have no fucking idea.
I hold a lot of respect for the man I was watching. Although we have only recently started connecting I feel an indescribable spiritual bond with him, and have done prior to this experience. He’s the only person I’ve ever met with entirely no body language, almost like trying to figure out how your cup of tea is feeling today.
Confusion overwhelmed me when I saw him that night. I’m not sure how to describe what I was seeing. His soul? His thoughts? He looked desperately miserable. This is what confused me - for the first time in my life I could read him like a book, was I just tripping? Did I see tears? I watched the whisps of milky, bluey light moving around his head and chest, lingering around him, moving through him, retreating into him and then attempting to escape, only to be pulled back. It moved like smoke, but seemed a lot more solid. I don’t know why he didn’t see me; I must have been out rightly staring at him for a long time. I watched the colours of the vapour change from a creamy light blue to a dark shade of purple. The smoke changed regularly in colour, but kept to these 3 main colours of creamy off white and different shades of blue and purple. Sometimes it was gradual, but also quick and harsh.
He wouldn’t be upset, why would he I thought as I walked away from him. I told myself I was just being a trippy bitch, and ignored it. I didn’t see him again until the next morning.
A friend and I were warming our snow-soaked bums on the fireplace and discussing our uncontrollable serotonin levels when he walked into the room. In all honesty I felt him before I saw him. Too much mescaline? I’m not sure. He quietly walked up to us and began passing around a cone. As I smoked I watched him again, waiting again for the whisps to reappear. Almost like I was trying to reassure myself that I had in fact, just been tripping balls the previous night.
Instead something very bizarre happened, something I’ve never really experienced before. I became overwhelmed with a very harsh sadness to the point I wanted to cry. I said nothing to him, but continued to watch quietly. Shortly afterwards he left the room and my sadness was gone, replaced once more by uncontrollable laughter. It happened very quickly, but it was inexpressibly intense. I knew it had something to do with him, but had no idea why.
I quickly forgot about all of this until days later when I spoke to my friend again. I told him he’d been looking sad, an unusual thing for someone generally so unreadable. That’s when he told me him and his girlfriend of many, many years had broken up about a week before hand. I was shocked at the news, and quickly became very overwhelmed. I did not tell him what I had seen or felt, because a part of me knew instantly that what I felt belonged to him.I wondered why he hadn’t come to me the night of the party if he was sad, but have now realised he didn’t need to.
This… although it’s not a report filled with magical wonderful imagery of tripped out hallucinations… is one of the strangest things that’s ever happened to me whilst on ANY drug. It confirms for me personally, that mescaline is a very powerful, spiritually based drug. It makes me consider, perhaps that it is a gateway to a place that I personally, am not ready for yet. Maybe it is one of many. Although I am happy that I found the key, and do think I will go back, when I’m more prepared. I will say though, that since that night, I’ve felt so much closer to him, almost like I understand him a little more; even though he remains a complete mystery.
Pixie
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mescaline
substancecode_phenethylamines
explevel_experienced
exptype_neutral
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
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. it was legit and it was the drugs.
. great trip report. i need to do an extraction soon.
