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Mescaline and ptsd

Zephyn

Zephyn

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 31, 2020
Messages
2,054
After 15 years of taking psychedelics the past few years I am scared to partake. I've been hospitalized after taking meth and heroin a few times due to each of their different affects. Ive been 90+ days sober except some benzos occasionally (three times) Nd some alcohol. I was somewhat recently sexually assaulted and brutalized. I've considered taking mescaline to help. I was even given some peyote by native Americans of which i gave all away as i was scared to trip. Im considering taking some san pedro soon as i find myself in such a deep funk I can't even eat or work or take care of myself (im about 30). I haven't had a good trip in years, and last time I took psychedelics I got raped by two police officers. Ive also had a friend be murdered during this time. That and a ton of other trauma. I have about 100 grams of san pedro. I was considering taking 50 grams alone. Is this a bad idea?

Edit: I might also have bipolar, im not sure.
 
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I find mescaline and its 3,5-dimethoxy substituted derivatives to be very good for emotional healing. Allylescaline literally changed my life, and definitely for the better; it basically changed my entire self-perception away from victim of sexual abuse as a child to a survivor who didn't let it destroy me like it could have. Tricho cacti like San Pedro are just as healing. For a powerful psychedelic, mescaline and its derivatives are remarkably friendly, not often causing the anxiety that often accompanies other such substances.

FWIW, I'd highly recommend a trusted sitter in case things start to get out of hand on you, especially with your background. Having a mg or a two of a benzodiazepine on hand can't hurt either. The benzodiazepine even reduces anxiety without even taking it; just knowing it's there if needed functions as a security blanket of sorts.
 
Maybe have a look here:

SAN PEDRO | +40 articles

San Pedro, cactus of peace and vision There is something special about making time in one's life for self-discovery, healing and transformation. We were drinking the consciousness altering liquid made from the San Pedro cactus, Huachuma, native to the Andes Mountains of South America, a...
www.bluelight.org www.bluelight.org
 
San pedro has been way cool and very forgiving, although unfortunately that's all I really have to say about mescaline, I have not really gotten a chance to do more than dip my toe in with that particular compound/cactus.
 
First off, I’m sorry that shit happened to you - no one deserves to control another in any way, but especially that way.
I hope you find healing, not only with the aid of cactus, but through supportive folk - maybe even some who’ve been abused themselves and who understand what it’s like.
Second, congrats on reaching out to a wider pool to get perspective on what to do with your cactus.

I’d just make an extract, but a tea would do well of course. Create a set and setting and intention to be open to healing.

During the purge, if you have one, it may be cathartic in its own way, releasing that stomach-locked trauma trapped for who knows how long.
In any case, having a trusted ally sit by you would be safer. They don’t have to be there the whole time, just in the next room even.
Stay in touch here, @Zephyn and good luck with the trip - and healing.

Edit: andgive Mr Peabody’s thread a read - very moving and full of insight on almost your exact situation.
 
I've never been raped by police while tripping, sorry for that, but I have been arrested, went to jail and was assaulted/beat up while very high on acid. It was horrible. I still love to trip, though.

I think I have some mild PTSD from some other events in my life, too. If anything psychedelics help.

Just my 2 cents.
 
Anonymous Dissident said:
I find mescaline and its 3,5-dimethoxy substituted derivatives to be very good for emotional healing. Allylescaline literally changed my life, and definitely for the better; it basically changed my entire self-perception away from victim of sexual abuse as a child to a survivor who didn't let it destroy me like it could have. Tricho cacti like San Pedro are just as healing. For a powerful psychedelic, mescaline and its derivatives are remarkably friendly, not often causing the anxiety that often accompanies other such substances.

FWIW, I'd highly recommend a trusted sitter in case things start to get out of hand on you, especially with your background. Having a mg or a two of a benzodiazepine on hand can't hurt either. The benzodiazepine even reduces anxiety without even taking it; just knowing it's there if needed functions as a security blanket of sorts.
Click to expand...

Allylescaline helped me heal from an absusive relation. There's something special with that molecule :)
 
Maybe (also) have a look here :

News - TRAUMA | MDMA passes big test for PTSD treatment ->

Teens who are bullied struggle with long-term mental health issues by Jared Wadley | University of Michigan | 24 Mar 2020 Bullying can make life miserable in the short term for teens, but its impact can also linger into young adulthood, says a University of Michigan researcher. Much is known...
www.bluelight.org www.bluelight.org

PTSD | +60 articles

Is MDMA the key to treating women with PTSD? by Kelley McMillan Some say yes—and that the prescription could come as early as 2021. On a bright, sunny morning in June 2012, 36-year-old massage therapist Roxxann Murphy and her husband, David, 34, were driving to Oklahoma City's Myriad...
www.bluelight.org www.bluelight.org
 
Just make sure you have someone around to trip-sit. Someone who knows what they're doing. I've met a brilliant psychiatrist & doctor who did trip-sitting with his patients (but did not prescribe them any of the necessary drugs of course), maybe there's someone like that. Or since you live in the USA you could ask an experienced Native American. Might be better than the doctor, because they know this 'world' you're about to enter again.
Dealing with trauma is NOT something you should do alone, in ANY state.
Keep in mind that you could entirely freak out over what happened, and make it much much worse, harm yourself or even others in the process.
Do not do it alone.
 
Thanks for the advice. Yeah ill probably make an IPA extract. I likely will have to take it alone though, as I am in a new city after a decade of travel and don't know too many friends these days, that are very close, especially locally, and the ones I do have are states away and likely have too much going on in their own lives to help. I am going to do some ketamine soon first to hopefully get me into a better mindset before I partake.

As for the natives, apparently the 2 ceremonies that happen a year with this tribe that accept non-indiginous peoples have been canceled due to covid.
 
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Good luck zephyn - hope things work out for you pal. Only thing I would suggest is before you get too committed to the idea, try and sip a little cactus snot first. If you can get past the first sip without gipping and setting the cup down with a resounding "fuck that" you are a better man than I.
 
Ismene2 said:
Good luck zephyn - hope things work out for you pal. Only thing I would suggest is before you get too committed to the idea, try and sip a little cactus snot first. If you can get past the first sip without gipping and setting the cup down with a resounding "fuck that" you are a better man than I.
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Lol, I would never do the tea prepared from dried powder, fuuck that, one time I tried mixing it with ice cream. Had to throw it all away. I usually just toss and wash, but typically I'm working with bridgsii or torch, this is less potent likely so I'm going to make an extract
 
Zephyn said:
Thanks for the advice. Yeah ill probably make an IPA extract. I likely will have to take it alone though, as I am in a new city after a decade of travel and don't know too many friends these days, that are very close, especially locally, and the ones I do have are states away and likely have too much going on in their own lives to help. I am going to do some ketamine soon first to hopefully get me into a better mindset before I partake.

As for the natives, apparently the 2 ceremonies that happen a year with this tribe that accept non-indiginous peoples have been canceled due to covid.
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If you HAVE to do it alone, please watch out for yourself.
But maybe you could talk to the natives? I mean they gave you the mescaline, maybe one of them is friendly enough to help you through this. Just explain that you want to solve a trauma, and you'd like for someone to be around if something happens.

Anyways, I wish you good luck. Keep us updated
 
December Flower said:
If you HAVE to do it alone, please watch out for yourself.
But maybe you could talk to the natives? I mean they gave you the mescaline, maybe one of them is friendly enough to help you through this. Just explain that you want to solve a trauma, and you'd like for someone to be around if something happens.

Anyways, I wish you good luck. Keep us updated
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I know one native american guy, and he is more interested in my helping buy him weed seeds than trip sitting me, lol, maybe he'd appreciate the mescaline though as he said he is out of fresh peyote. I could idk ask him? He was more like a drug dealer than a friend.

Likely going to do this in the next 30 days. My concern here is my baseline is pretty miserable and I've never started a trip without first being in a good mood and know its not necessarily a good idea. This is why I've had psychedelics, particularly cactus sitting around at any given time for years but never have the balls to scarf it down. I wouldnt dare take lsd like this, but mescaline is more gentle and known to have a positive push. I wonder how positive. Maybe I should try microdosing first.
 
Zephyn said:
I know one native american guy, and he is more interested in my helping buy him weed seeds than trip sitting me, lol, maybe he'd appreciate the mescaline though as he said he is out of fresh peyote. I could idk ask him? He was more like a drug dealer than a friend.

Likely going to do this in the next 30 days. My concern here is my baseline is pretty miserable and I've never started a trip without first being in a good mood and know its not necessarily a good idea. This is why I've had psychedelics, particularly cactus sitting around at any given time for years but never have the balls to scarf it down. I wouldnt dare take lsd like this, but mescaline is more gentle and known to have a positive push. I wonder how positive. Maybe I should try microdosing first.
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I've seen some astonishing work done with mescaline microdosing & PTSD, anxiety, sociophobia, burn-out - maybe that's the best way to go.
If you cannot find anyone to sit you, I'd go for the microdose in your situation.
It should already help you through your trauma, I sincerely hope so, and you will not be in danger of entirely freaking out.

I'm sorry if I'm nagging you, but it is only out of concern for your safety. I don't want you to freak out.

edit: I invested in a bit of memory-retrace to find out about a moment I blocked out, which was around the age I was 3. Took mescaline to find out, DID find out that my father almost choked me to death(choleric, not a bad person, I aggravated him and he snapped) and was absolutely freaked out for months
 
yeah that might be a good idea. Microdosing this shit would be quite the stomache ache. Ill probably do it with mushrooms.
 
Theta:

I'm interested in mescaline for this purpose too and would love to read that trip report when you publish it. Glad to hear it worked out for you too. :)
 
When I say "it works" I mean it completely eliminated all symptoms for around 48 hours. It allowed me to start to address how this has affected me and become consciously aware of the hooks in my consciousness these days. It enabled me to have a 3 hour long intense discussion with a childhood friend without sobbing or having a pity party, and start the extremely difficult process of integrating this. I combined it with pregabalin(high dose) and diazepam(low dose) and was worried that might blunt or negate the psychedelic effects, but it didn't, at least not visually (probably a bit, I did dose very high and wasn't exactly overwhelmed), and the body rushes of pregabalin+mescaline rivaled that of MDMA or was maybe even better. It was maybe a little too hedonistic for what I was looking for and will repeat the experiment sober sometime. I wouldnt doubt the pregabalin may have limited some of its efficiency in theoretically building new neural pathways.
 
Theta:

That's pretty much been my experience using psychedelics for trauma work in general, that the trip itself doesn't actually heal you but it provides a springboard for healing by allowing insight into why you are how you are and how you could be if you worked through your stuff more, basically. It sounds like a nice experience and I'm glad you got something out of it, and hope the next one is good too. :)
 
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