Mental diminishment

[queenscarlet88]

I have been using drugs for three years now. This number shrinks beside the records of real veteran drug users, yet to me it seems rather a long time, all of a sudden. Three years of coasting from chemically-calibrated hills down into valleys and up again; three years of functioning in life almost as an automaton. My patterns of behavior have spiraled on and on through stilted repetitions of lethargy, distaste, and general wilting from the world.

I struggle to read deeply, and exponentially more bitterly I struggle to write fluently, to summon language, to elucidate complex ideas. I want to be an academic, and before drugs my temperament and attention span would have ideally suited me to enmeshment within the world of ideas. However, after these three years, my capacity to attend to complex and drawn-out intricacies of higher thinking has waned.

In short, thanks to lengthy cycles with prescription drugs (benzo's, amphetamines, opioids), with alcohol, to interludes with mushrooms and acid and mescaline, and most especially with weed -- my ability to read, comprehend, assimilate, and expand upon complex ideas has shrunken. My mind feels so diminished.

 

[NoPromiseMade]

Then maybe you should stop for awhile.

 

[Lolie]

Have you actually had neurological and cognitive function testing done? I'd suggest that as a starting point because drugs have a way of causing us to mis-perceive our abilities in both directions.

 

[MeddieFrac]

I'm going to take a little break from oxy/roxy so that I can get a decent high without spending 200$ in one night for 200mg's. The bad part of the withdrawal should only last a week, so I'm going to do large amounts of Klonopin for one week and then stop the Klonopin cold turkey hopefully with no withdrawal from that.

 

[NameD]

it's not completely a"normal"

The simple circumstances of not challenging your brain will deteriorate your capacities by a considerable amount and i think the brains structure changes if it is not required to perform complex academic tasks, think abstractly and learn.

I would say dont be afraid , take it a slower , consume less drugs if you still want to and choose more wisely . Several things will help you regain your potency , (learning to) juggl(e)ing for example will acknowledgedly grow the grey matter in your brain. Playing an instrument and more specifically one that uses both hands idependently (eg. piano) will have similar effects.
And of course if you simply DO write and read more it will also get better


From my own experience and from what others that felt similar have shared , approaching it with a positive attitude facilitates things a lot aswell!
So attack your problem , dont be frustrated , just give your best
Good luck and health to you!

 

[SilverFeniks]

Good thread with some great wisdom.

I can relate to all that has been said. As benign as I like to believe cannabis is (as is the general consensus from all its online advocates), as soon as I get a few days' clean off the herb, I can literally feel my IQ increase 10% (including language/motor skills).

My lingual skills have mostly returned after years of (primarily) cannabis/alcohol abuse, but my ability to concentrate has been quite shattered, and not yet returning.
I was a voracious reader since I was very young; for years now I generally start one book, lose interest, start another, pick up the first, start a third, and wind up with a stack of unread books of all genres. I used to never read more than one at a time, let alone be able to put one down.

I half some half-hearted plans to join a Professional profession (is that allowed? :D ) in a decade or so (once I'm out of debt / haven't ruined or ended my life); in order to attend Law School, though, I'll have to shake my old self off completely and rediscover some serious study habits I never had. I cruised through undergrad University summa cum laude, but my degree was a joke. I know I don't possess the wits or concentration to hold a serious job; while I have a 'good' one now, I'm not surprised that I have coworkers who never went to college.

I also had my runs with MDMA/OxyContin, and a smaller plethora of everything from amphetamine/LSD/psycocibin/Ketamine etc (all in short infrequent binges) back in the day; can't say those had any noticeable negative effects on me, but I'm sure the tenure of use was too short to say.
And of course any time you delve into a serious habit, all the 'other,' important things in life start fading away ..
e.g. I never let studying interfere with my drug use, though I had no problem getting high instead of studying, or working under the influence ... priorities

 

[34-dihydroxyphen]

Sounds a lot like depression. Cognitive functioning decreases whilst one is clinically depressed.