Shinobi
Bluelighter
I'm to out of it, to determine if I want this in Words or not. No one seems to over there
So if another, more mentally sound Mod wants to shoot it over there have at it
:: Warning, this not for the light hearted ::
Well its now 1:17am Est. I havn't had anymore then 2 hours of sleep in the past 36 hours. Sleep dep has set in. I am having the mild hallucinations and the "acid thoughts". I get those crazy off the cuff, jesus what the hell was that thoughts durin sleep dep anyways.
So I'm driving home and I sorta dose into this dream. Yes while driving for christ sakes! I could still see the road, so the state that I was in, was more so a day dream.
I had this dream that I meet up with Louis Mayor. This is the person which sexually assulted me when I was five. So I see him, and this image is what I "think" he would look like. Well I start beating the tar out of him. So after I beat him to a pulp I have his hair grabbed in my left hand my right hand cocked back. My teeth are snarled and I'm letting out this Yell as if from some sort of Hound of Satan. My eyes are a firey red and I look to his face. All the anger and hatred that I could ever muster seems to be filled in my hand. Poised I am ready to strike death onto the person whom has forever tainted my existence.
Then at this point, his face disappears and I see hers. No face of any one woman, but I know her all the same. She is the girl who will give me what he has taken away from me. Love, the ability to be loved, and to love as a person. This being her gift in which she will bestow onto me. So I don't see her face, but it is the face of any girl I have or do care for.
Then it disappears and I have Louis in my grasp still. A calm wash's over me and I let him go, I stand up and let him drop to the ground. An ephiney hits me that I don't want to estinguish him as it will never solve anything. That I can not undo the past and his life, now plays no part in mine. If I were to do so, I would become what I think that I am. An object uncapeable of any sort of love which is doomed to eternal coldness.
I awake from my stuper. Finding myself on a different part of the highway. I have no real recolation of how I got there. Nor as I write this, do I remember even now I got home. I know where I went, only because I have done it so many other times.
Try as I must, there is no real point here. I'm not sure what anyone reading this babble can understand. I suppose dreams are reflections of our inner selfs what manifest in our fantasy world of sleep. We can review them, but can we ever take them out past the context of " just a dream" ?
- Shinobi
:: Warning, this not for the light hearted ::
Well its now 1:17am Est. I havn't had anymore then 2 hours of sleep in the past 36 hours. Sleep dep has set in. I am having the mild hallucinations and the "acid thoughts". I get those crazy off the cuff, jesus what the hell was that thoughts durin sleep dep anyways.
So I'm driving home and I sorta dose into this dream. Yes while driving for christ sakes! I could still see the road, so the state that I was in, was more so a day dream.
I had this dream that I meet up with Louis Mayor. This is the person which sexually assulted me when I was five. So I see him, and this image is what I "think" he would look like. Well I start beating the tar out of him. So after I beat him to a pulp I have his hair grabbed in my left hand my right hand cocked back. My teeth are snarled and I'm letting out this Yell as if from some sort of Hound of Satan. My eyes are a firey red and I look to his face. All the anger and hatred that I could ever muster seems to be filled in my hand. Poised I am ready to strike death onto the person whom has forever tainted my existence.
Then at this point, his face disappears and I see hers. No face of any one woman, but I know her all the same. She is the girl who will give me what he has taken away from me. Love, the ability to be loved, and to love as a person. This being her gift in which she will bestow onto me. So I don't see her face, but it is the face of any girl I have or do care for.
Then it disappears and I have Louis in my grasp still. A calm wash's over me and I let him go, I stand up and let him drop to the ground. An ephiney hits me that I don't want to estinguish him as it will never solve anything. That I can not undo the past and his life, now plays no part in mine. If I were to do so, I would become what I think that I am. An object uncapeable of any sort of love which is doomed to eternal coldness.
I awake from my stuper. Finding myself on a different part of the highway. I have no real recolation of how I got there. Nor as I write this, do I remember even now I got home. I know where I went, only because I have done it so many other times.
Try as I must, there is no real point here. I'm not sure what anyone reading this babble can understand. I suppose dreams are reflections of our inner selfs what manifest in our fantasy world of sleep. We can review them, but can we ever take them out past the context of " just a dream" ?
- Shinobi
