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Meeting her Father today. Pretty nervous.

T

ThisIsKitty

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 17, 2013
Messages
73
Meeting her Father today.

You may have seen my post yesterday about the ring I got her. I plan on giving it to her in front of her parents humbly to show I actually thought of her while I was overseas, yet I dont want to come off as weak. Ive always been into one night stands and never cared for a relationship. I decided to go for companionship and managed to get what I was looking for. Thing is, Im completely new to this and meeting her father seems like a huge make or break it situation. I already have the manners and confidence down pat but Ive always been the silent type. I dont believe in small talk as it gets nowhere most of the time and believe me, a lot of people misunderstand silence as arrogance or rudeness.

At 20 years old Ive already come to the conclusion that this relationship may come to an end because were both still too young to be completely tied up. I accept that, but Id like to keep it going healthy for as long as it can. Who knows what will happen in the long run however.

Ladies, if youve ever had a man meet your father what did he expect?
Men, what have you done in this situation to give a solid first impression?

I know every parent is different and each look for different things in their daughters boyfriend but Id rather hear some stories that were successful and take notes than go in blind.
 
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You might want to work on your small talk technique because it could get awkward if you sit there silent. I've had plenty of guys meet my parents over the years and my dad never talked about "what he expected." You're probably overthinking this a bit because you've never been in this situation. It's not really a big deal, just be yourself. Even if you are nervous, that's normal. If you can't think of what to say, smile and maintain eye contact. Your girl and her family will likely keep the conversation going.
 
at 20 years old, its a parents duty to be skeptical of their childs relationship with anyone. its the time where you know they and their partner are sexually active; but are not mentally capable of taking on board the long term consequences that follow.

regardless of how embracing you may appear to her parents about your level of commitment to their daughter, they are still going to be apprehensive (and know better).

parents ultimately want whats best for their children and only support wholeheartedly relationships that offer their kids long term stability before welcoming an S/O with open arms new into to their family.

although your intentions are great, please dont expect too much. you are only 20 and are not proposing to their daughter formally; but instead offering a ring from your travels to say i love you, afterall.

...kytnism...:|
 
Good points here, I guess in the end as long as youre respectful and yourself theyll still be extremely cautious. Its inevitable, just have to accept it
 
I meant to ask you also, how long have you two been seeing each other? It might be a bit awkward if you're giving her a ring in front of her parents. Just throwing this out there and I could be completely wrong. I don't know how serious you are but parents could view this as a commitment. Like the equivalent of a promise ring.
 
T. Calderone said:
I meant to ask you also, how long have you two been seeing each other? It might be a bit awkward if you're giving her a ring in front of her parents. Just throwing this out there and I could be completely wrong. I don't know how serious you are but parents could view this as a commitment. Like the equivalent of a promise ring.
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Started seeing her 3 months ago, been official for 2. I was thinking that too. What would appear as a pick-me-up to me may appear as something a little more serious to her parents. I may just do it over dinner when Im out with her alone
 
Giving her the ring with any other intention of making her happy sort of defeats the point of buying it in the first place. Making a deal out of giving her a present you got when away (in front of her parents) just seems like overkill.

It's a really nice gift, shows that you care about her enough to pick something other than the usual touristy trash when you were away. Give it to her when alone, she will do a better show of showing it off to her parents than you can.
 
Bearlove said:
Giving her the ring with any other intention of making her happy sort of defeats the point of buying it in the first place. Making a deal out of giving her a present you got when away (in front of her parents) just seems like overkill.

It's a really nice gift, shows that you care about her enough to pick something other than the usual touristy trash when you were away. Give it to her when alone, she will do a better show of showing it off to her parents than you can.
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Will do. Ill take her out tonight after the big ol talk. Very good advice here, thanks everyone
 
ThisIsKitty said:
Will do. Ill take her out tonight after the big ol talk. Very good advice here, thanks everyone
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You also have the risk of - when you pull out a ring in front of her parents she (and they) could automatically think 'engagement'. When you then give her a 'gift' ring she/they may think wtf ! Have your chat - have a laugh with your GF about it and then just give her your gift.
 
you guys have no idea, they could be completely accepting and loving parents. If I were a parent, I'd be a bit apprehensive at first but after feeling the general vibe of the person, if they were awesome I'd be all for it!
 
Magickduck said:
you guys have no idea, they could be completely accepting and loving parents. If I were a parent, I'd be a bit apprehensive at first but after feeling the general vibe of the person, if they were awesome I'd be all for it!
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I never said anything to the contrary?
 
I probably wouldn't give her a ring in front of her parents. That's more a personal thing.
Be yourself. Be calm.
Avoid topics like politics, religion, etc.
 
It went amazing, I had my head turned but her father gave her a thumbs up behind my back and a smile that I caught in the window. She said they think Im bold, respectful and thoughtful for the gift. Hell, after dinner I volunteered to take the plates and do the dishes because they fed me. Something I never do.

All this done with 0 sleep, and jet lag. I proved something to myself tonight
 
She did. Only reason why I was hesitant was because she said she doesnt want any gifts but it doesnt take a genius to figure out people say that out of politeness. Big thanks to bluelight for their opinions
 
you don't have to small talk to have a conversation, you can go in deep and ask them about what they enjoy doing or what inspires them. people often like talking about themselves

maybe i'm good at talking to people. you have to seem interested in their point and listen to them then when it gets dull push a new topic but read their reaction while doing so.

being "quiet" is not the same as being ignorant= manners goes a long way
 
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