MDPV years later

[xxsicknessxx]

Am I the only one who thinks MDPV changed them?
I abused this drug among others opiets being my main thing for 9 years strait. However after only 2.5years of MDPV my life crumbled. MDPV destroyed me. Where I managed to handle drugs for along time after mdpv all my habits Shot through the roof, pills, poweders, drinks, everything got out of controll.

I have problems thinking strait sometimes, I feel speed up and get anxiety now (which I dont take pills for) I get paranoid and have trouble sleeping even after being clean from any stim for 2 years. I don't enjoy things the same, I still to this day feel the desire to do it sometimes before a shower I think wow mdpv would help or before I clean something or have sex. I get mussle twiches to this day, mostly right before I fall alseep but its noticeable and bothersome. I just.... I still want MDPV I miss the good shit I used to get before it seemed to become impure. The brown earthy thick stuff I got was so insane amazing then it became weird and went from white to yellow. Sometimes it had black flecks in it that made me see things but for a good year I had a solid, cheap, reliable source and I was able to just use it and enjoy it. When quailty dropped I had to up dosage and sometimes it was stronger then other times or felt different anyways am I the only one who never recovered from mdpv? I mean it changed me forever. Read some of my old posts I lost sanaity for months at a time.. I dunno how I came back from it I really don't. I lost my mind for months, I was hearing things, seeing things, thinking people poisned me and were tracking me and that they were in my walls in my bed, crazy stuff. God. Sober 5months now.

 

[footscrazy]

You've done so well getting out of that addiction, it's not easy at all! You should be proud of that.

My DOC was always meth but I used pv frequently too (when I was 'clean' off meth, ha). They have their similarities.

I think at 5 months you definitely haven't stopped getting better. I think things are very likely to keep improving. I haven't seen any studies on pv specifically, but meth acts on the same receptors, and the changes to dopamine receptors from heavy meth use are 80% back to 'normal' after 18 months. That doesn't mean it'll take 18 months or longer til you feel better though - as the brain is very plastic and it can repair itself very well. It can use different pathways to achieve the same result, so most, if not all, the changes pv has caused in your brain can be overcome.

You had some significant negative symptoms from your use, so give your brain time to heal, and don't give up. There are lots of things you can do to help speed things along - meditation in particular has been shown to make significant positive changes in the brain after just 12 weeks.

Good luck.

 

[Cohesion]

There are lots of things you can do to help speed things along - meditation in particular has been shown to make significant positive changes in the brain after just 12 weeks.

Did you try meditation?

I have been doing it almost daily for 2 weeks. Things are exacerbathing which is good.

 

[xxsicknessxx]

Yea I learned how to meditate in my program, it helps a ton. Its a nice trick to use when you got nothing to do. I can just lay down close my eyes and med out.

 

[Cohesion]

Meditation and CBT has helped some of my "stuck feelings" come out. I cried for about 2 weeks straight. At the end of the crying (I didn't know it was the end) I made an appointment with my GP to get Klonopin. (I cancelled it.)

I don't know if I took MDPV, but about 15 days' use of "bath salts" has definitely caused me to have flashbacks since April (it's September, still having them). They are a little less intense 5 months later.

That is the main long-term issue for me: flashbacks.

 

[footscrazy]

Things are exacerbathing which is good.

What do you mean by this...? Exacerbating - making things worse? I'm unsure of whether you're saying meditation has helped or the opposite!

I find meditation such a great tool. Especially mindfullness meditation. Bringing your awareness back to the moment by focusing on the breath can really halt negative thoughts, and help you look at things with more objectivity.

 

[Cohesion]

I would have explained better, but I was finishing up that post as my boyfriend was coming in. BL is kindof a sercret.

I have been very sick for some time. I have recently (2 months ago and 3 months ago) quit my drugs of choice. After a few weeks of meditation, feelings ignored, previously stuffed have surfaced. I went through some rough intensive emotions all at once.
CBT does a similar thing but meditation is more direct and sure to hike through the cognitive landscape. Yes - it helps - but there was necessary pain.

+2 for increased objectivity!

 

[dilated_pupils]

I can definitely relate to your story, but I didn't use MDPV that long, nor as much as you would likely think for those sort of effects to be possible; however lack of studies on MDPV are the missing key to how it effects brain activity in the long run.

Since MDPV is a triple re-uptake inhibitor you usually feel like you need less of most things; including the bodies necessities (food, water etc. because the overloading of serotonin).

What's probably happened to yourself, myself, and others who've used MDPV and other such drugs abusively (or at all for long periods of time) is that we get out of our routine; not just our every-day routines like getting a shower and brushing our teeth, but the bodies ability to replenish and restore our natural equilibrium.

I have been clean from MDPV for a few months now and just started to really put into perspective that my bodies natural supplements (probably from lack of eating for such long periods of time) need to be pushed back into motion. I would suggest some 5-htp, melatonin, and some protein shakes to help get back into shape mentally. All the while you should be trying to stay focused on easy & potential tasks, and you may want to talk to a doctor about the abuse with stims. Most the time I've noticed people who abuse stims actually are in need of them but only to an extent (MDPV's abuse potential is obviously very high since it's cheap, (usually) very pure, and easy to get).

Good luck.

-dp

 

[lazydullard]

mdpv was the most horrible thing that ever happened to me. It's been nearly two years since I've used it, and I still get the desire to do it. I get muscle twitches now too, and I never did before. Many nights I can only sleep for one hour in a row before waking up. For many months of my life, I could only sleep in increments of one hour, then wake and have to wait to fall back to sleep. It's only now getting better, 2 years since my last dose!

I can't ever relax my whole body like I used to could, like I used to relax just before I would start drawing in the smoke. One muscle has to keep moving and tensing always, and even if I force myself to relax the muscle, then my heart will start pounding, which I can't stop.

I barely speak anymore. I used to have a gift for sweet talk and fast talk, but now it's just dour, critical silence all the time. I'm having to learn all over again how to behave around other people, how to relate to them and understand them. I'm not sure why, but when I quit MDPV, some vital part of my empathy went with it. Other people seem so far away now, so unreachable now.

I only had an MDPV habit for about a year and a half, although it was pretty heavy and usually smoked during that time. Anyways, two years after the fact, I'm beginning to feel improvement and optimism. Any cognitive defects are mostly or completely gone now, although my moods are still pretty turbulent. Anyways, I just want to say, it gets better. But the progress is measured more in years than months. But things truly do get better! Stay with it! It's going to take years to get everything back completely, but it all does come back! At least I'm pretty sure it does. I'd say I'm about 80% back now. Progress is super slow at first, but actually gets faster later.

I'd say MDPV did change me. I can't undo the changes it caused in me. All I can, actually, is just to keep changing. So yeah, MDPV changed you for the worse, and you can't fix that, but you can change for the better, and effectively affect a fix like that.

good luck! if anyone wants to talk about MDPV, you're welcome to PM me at anytime. I feel so sure that I've quit the stuff for good, and truly believe that I won't ever use it again. I probably could have sped up my recovery time if I had someone to talk to who understood MDPV spefically.

 

[Deleted member 175441]

weed, meditation, and my love to learn really helped me! Good friends are a godsend as well. fish oil, 5-htp, b complex, ginseng, and ginko have been working well also. Lsd helped after a while also, not really anything with mdpv in particular but yeah :S going to try some shroom somewhat soon too. I hope MDPV doesn't get in the way of using psychedelics, I'm pretty sure I'm good to go as I've done LSD twice since it and i think 2c-b. Lsd was more fun than anything, it helped bring up some shit from my mind, but I'm going to try using shrooms and hope for the best.

 

[xxsicknessxx]

im not sure what mdpv did. I did lots and lots and lots of it. I mean I swallowed grams at a time, and went through my bags in one day of insanity. I did lots of drugs but nothing effected me or changed me as much as mdpv. BTW im 7months sober now. Im doing good, getting better. I think mdpv my account for my body weakness / pains I get all the time, my spasms I get randomly. I twitch so bad at night sometimes its like someone punched me in the stomach. I think maybe it had a toxin in it that built up or is harming me to this day. All I can say is no other drug drove me into insanity like mdpv. My god, I tell stories to friends sometimes and they think im lying. What I went through I believe would drive most people insane. I have a strong mind though and im recovering though a few things I guess im going to have to live with forever. *sigh* oh well. I will admit I did lots of research drugs not always knowing if they were pure or not. So mdpv can't all be to blame but by far it effected my mind the most. In fact one time I did a bunch of mdpv over a few days I lost the use of my right hang for over a week. How weird is that? So I think some batches were bad and must of had something dangerous in them. I may never know the long term damage done, or whats wrong with me.

 

[Hardcoreprawn]

I can't ever relax my whole body like I used to could, like I used to relax just before I would start drawing in the smoke. One muscle has to keep moving and tensing always, and even if I force myself to relax the muscle, then my heart will start pounding, which I can't stop.

I barely speak anymore. I used to have a gift for sweet talk and fast talk, but now it's just dour, critical silence all the time. I'm having to learn all over again how to behave around other people, how to relate to them and understand them. I'm not sure why, but when I quit MDPV, some vital part of my empathy went with it. Other people seem so far away now, so unreachable now.

I could have written this! I've known I was addicted to this for a while but I've denied it, thinking I could control it. I'm just about to see my GP about it and I've opened up to my other half about it yesterday. I am in the "shame about my addiction" phase and scared. Can happen to anyone. I'm a science phd student in her 30s, married and have a child. Discovered "bath salts" when I was trying to find something to do on the weekend with my husband. I did so much "research" before buying the first batch. I guess I thought I was being responsible. Long story short, so much of what I've done my husband still doesn't know about and I'm not ready to open up fully yet. I'm too ashamed of myself. This drug really can change you. Right now, I'm on "holiday" from my job. Part of the reason I got phychologically addicted to MDPV was the stress of my job, parenting and being a mum. Just everything really. Scared to go back to work even...Anyway. long road is long.

 

[Hardcoreprawn]

I think "Bath Salts" do mostly contain MDPV to keep the user re-dosing. Although I now believe I was addicted to these for about 18 months, it wasn't every day. Up until last week, it was only ever on the weekend. Got to every weekend and last week, 5 consecutive days leaving me unable to communicate and depressed, realising I cant hide my addiction anymore. I think I have admitted this early enough that I havent competely ruined my life but I realise it will be a long road. Yes its complete chanted me.

I used to be extremely proactive, social and "respectable" (whatever that means!). I'm a science graduate (now PhD), I've run lots of project, been involved in community work and conservation and generally been a really good mum and wife. Now I don't want to leave the house and I have so much self-loathing I can barely look anyone in the eye. My PhD hasn't helped the situation. In fact, the set up of my life helped create a "reason" for my addiction.

"I need it to unwind"
"My job is stressful"
"Its only on the weekend"

I became increasingly a loner over the last year. No aside from my other half knows but I thinking about it, I suspect my recent behaviour has raised some alarm bells. I cant control it anymore. Got to the point where even though it was "just on the weekend", the weekend is the only time I was happy...or as happy as you can be wasting it being a competly lazy waste of space.

 

[lazydullard]

^For sure. When my main internet supplier of MDPV shut down, I switched over to bath salts for a while before finding a new supplier. Good luck with your stuff. Addiction can turn your brilliant mind against you, although once you realize it's happening, it should be easier to... um.. turn around, I guess.

xxsicknessxx , once during a heavy week long binge, after a heavy hit of MDPV, I lost feeling in my right hand and foot. It was like it was cold and numb, though I could still move it I couldn't feel it. I actually think it was more a part of stimulant psychosis than actual neurological damage. It's important to feel that any bad change that has happened to you can get better, though. So whether or not you have been damaged by impurities in the drugs, keep believing it can get better someday. If it's real damage, then yeah, it'll stay. But if the damage is more psychological, then believing it can get better is the trick to healing it.

 

[Hardcoreprawn]

@ladydullard - I already recognised that its happened. I'm not "brilliant" either. That's a misconception. You don't have to be a genius to do a PhD, just motivated. Just think its important to let people know it can happened to anybody, even those we'd never suspect.