MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support)

[imatowel]

That's what I truly don't understand. Why would people suffering from this LTC feel the need to do MDMA again? I'm sorry, but that's insanity.

Insanity? It's the only time I've felt truly alive, felt truly myself, no ego, no nothing, just me enjoying the moment.

 

[coderbrah]

Don't do it man. Your body responded a certain way to a very potent substance. To think that it would behave in a totally different way when exposed to the same substance really is wishful thinking.

The fact you're wanting to take MDMA because it's the only time you've felt alive points to other issues that you need to address.

There's no harm done in abstaining. But risking another period of undeserved suffering because of 4 hours of pleasure? That seems like a crazy gamble to make.

 

[pmz]

What are you proactively doing so far besides meditation? Also are you still using drugs?

Im going to yoga almost daily. I eat mostly organic and mostly vegetarian diet. Take vitamins, being social, working a good job, learning how to talk to people about my situation, and still just listening to music that i like regardless of the feeling because it still sounds good, just doesnt have that feel.

Nope. No drugs, no caffeine, I drink nearly a gallon+ of water a day. I try to sleep as much as possible. I see a therapist, 2 actually.

 

[pmz]

For those interested (following up on my earlier theory): it seems that high glutamate activity is to blame for feelings of derealization/depersonalization. For example dissasociatives like ketamine release large amounts of this neurotransmitter. This makes sense in the theory since the Serotonin/GABA system should normally put the brakes on chemicals such as glutamate and norepinephrine.

I took a shit load of MDMA + ketamine on "that night" hmmmmm

 

[Dawglaw]

I was drunk as hell on "that night." I think my redoses and lack of sleep did me in and broke me.

 

[necrotyx]

Guys i have a few questions on a threah I posted the other night. Nobody responded yet It would mean a lot if some of you guys checked it out.

 

[PJ2]

I sincerely hope you get help and don't do it again. The definition of insanity is doing something over and over and expecting a different result. Whatever your views on what actually has occurred in these LTC's, doing MDMA again isn't a solution to anything. You're just going to suffer more for a feeling you may or may not enjoy for a few hours.

 

[PJ2]

rphilli72 spews nothing but negativity. I agree with the others. are you here to judge and criticize or to find support and converse with people who are going through the same thing as you. gtfo here with that. All that bullshit you type doesn't help you or any of us get better. fuck you!

lol....wow, chill out dude. Talk about being negative. I think Zebrafish eloquently stated how I feel better than I took the time to do. Telling people they are crazy to consider risking further harm to themselves is actually a positive message intended to keep people from making a bad mistake - AGAIN! But, do as you wish!

Good day!

 

[PJ2]

rphilii72 sorry to hear of your bad experience with MDMA. I personally look back at my Rave days with warmth and affection I was glad to be part of a movement that back in the day swept the Nation and then the World. I have only positive feedback on some great times some great friends and some Epic nights. I am sorry for your bad experiences some people can be allergic to MDMA but then again some people can be allergic to peanuts

Yeah, shit happens I guess. I don't know what happened. I certainly wasn't a chronic user or abusive at all with this drug, but it got me good. I don't know if it's mental or brain damage or whatever...that's a useless thought to me at this point. The only thing that should matter is potential recovery. I am gradually getting better it seems although it always depends on the day. Some are great and some feel like regressions.

 

[PJ2]

FBC,

Do you mind describing which symptoms you are still experiencing, and which ones have resolved?

BTW, I can relate to that sensation of my hearing suddenly giving out in ear, and then return momentarily. This happened to me several times in the first few months of my comedown. I don't think they are strokes/TIA's, but I'm curious about what you think the cause may be.

I've had tinnitus since childhood because I used to have chronic childhood ear infections. My tinnitus is actually better these days simply because I no longer smoke, drink, or take caffeine. Anyway, the point I wanted to make was that occasionally and I'm talking about maybe once or twice a year, I would get some sort of very noticeable change in hearing that usually was accompanied by a change in the sound of the tinnitus...i.e. louder, more shrill etc. So, whatever mechanisms in the brain that are responsible for the tinnitus are likely responsible for the sudden change in hearing. It always returns to normal. That is the good news!

 

[ScaredFirstTimer]

I would have assumed it was mostly serotonergic but L-tyrosine worked fantastically for me whereas 5-htp makes things significantly worse even in small doses.

5-HTP has fucked me up like you've experienced every time I've tried it.

But I'm interested in the l-tyrosine. Could you elaborate on the doses you used and exactly what effects you experience?

 

[coderbrah]

5-HTP has fucked me up like you've experienced every time I've tried it.

But I'm interested in the l-tyrosine. Could you elaborate on the doses you used and exactly what effects you experience?

Keep in mind that although dopamine might benefit mood, l tyrosine also converts to norepinephrine and epinephrine (fight or flight chemicals). I've found that l tyrosine males me very jittery.

 

[ScaredFirstTimer]

Yeah, I know, but I still want to try it, based on Tpchan85's experience and the body of research backing it @ examine.com. I have had very good success with l-taurine, though that shouldn't come as a surprise since it has some GABA action (weak agonist to some GABA receptors).

Thanks for sharing your experience with it though. That is what this thread is for.

 

[coderbrah]

Yeah, I know, but I still want to try it, based on Tpchan85's experience and the body of research backing it @ examine.com. I have had very good success with l-taurine, though that shouldn't come as a surprise since it has some GABA action (weak agonist to some GABA receptors).

Thanks for sharing your experience with it though. That is what this thread is for.

Can you elaborate on your l taurine use? I know from hindsight that before this all happened I was pretty low in GABA and serotonin anyway. I'm currently on a paleo mid carb/high protein diet with more meals a day, and starting meditation+relaxation exercises to reinforce a positive feedback loop, but am still unsure how to boost GABA levels. (Ive tried GABA as a supplement but it didnt really do it for me).

Also to the one that does yoga (cant remember im on my phone), can you share your experience? Also would it work with lots of fatigue like I experience?

Also anyone ever tried L-theanine?

 

[ScaredFirstTimer]

GABA as a supplement is shit, due to not crossing BBB very well. L-taurine on the other hand crosses it readily.

I experimented with doses, and I didn't really feel anything until I got to 2 grams. And I've stayed at that dose. I tried 3 grams once, and it did indeed increase the effects, I might actually do that more often. I do not do it every day though, far from it. As with any receptor agonist you will get diminished effects, and this seems to happen with l-taurine after anything from a few days to a few weeks of daily use. I use it when I feel shitty from many days of poor sleep and I have an important day at work. Stuff like that. It really mellows me out, and it actually takes away many of my symptoms. It is also a mood booster for me. An increase of inhibitory neurotransmittion seems to be what I need right now.

Don't get over excited though, it is rather weak. Still, I have gotten desired effects from it every single time I've used it, which is probably around 20 times by now.

Another thing worth noting is that most energy drinks (redbull etc) contains a fair amount of l-taurine. It has a synergistic relationship with stimulants (caffeine), and takes away the "jitters" etc that some people get from caffeine. Having a LTC, I'm pretty "tweaked out" 24/7 so something like taurine is really helpful.

 

[pmz]

Can you elaborate on your l taurine use? I know from hindsight that before this all happened I was pretty low in GABA and serotonin anyway. I'm currently on a paleo mid carb/high protein diet with more meals a day, and starting meditation+relaxation exercises to reinforce a positive feedback loop, but am still unsure how to boost GABA levels. (Ive tried GABA as a supplement but it didnt really do it for me).

Also to the one that does yoga (cant remember im on my phone), can you share your experience? Also would it work with lots of fatigue like I experience?

Also anyone ever tried L-theanine?

Yeah I do yoga. And u feel it works really good at making me feel relaxed and it definitely raises my mood. Gotta do it often though. Its something you have to get good at and really focus into to get that feelings.

 

[Tpchan85]

Yeah, I know, but I still want to try it, based on Tpchan85's experience and the body of research backing it @ examine.com. I have had very good success with l-taurine, though that shouldn't come as a surprise since it has some GABA action (weak agonist to some GABA receptors).

Thanks for sharing your experience with it though. That is what this thread is for.

My symptoms had started to improve when I found enough confidence to take L-Tyrosine. My theory was as I had a fair amount of dopaminergic stimulant use as well that perhaps low dopamine was responsible for many of my symptoms e.g muscle twitches, either way it wouldn't hurt to try it. Tyrosine made me feel less anxious but also restless. I had trouble sitting still on Tyrosine, it turned me from laying around worrying about my symptoms to feeling confidently edgy and more motivated, definitely a preferable state. After taking the Tyrosine I would feel so unable to sit still that I would go out running for hours to tire myself out (which subsequently helped me overcome any fears about my heart), the effects diminished after about 10 days though so I stopped taking it and now I just feel overall better anxiety and mood wise.

I'm now drinking alcohol again okay but watching my intake. Mood wise I still have random anxiety come on at times and physical symptoms (palpitations, muscle twitches) but I feel happier than I did before this all started. Life kind of feels like it has a fresh coat of paint on it, I'm enjoying the simple things like a few pints at the pub with close friends. Still that desire to drop again is there. I feel like I built my life, chose my friends around drugs and that whole scene and now I can't help but feel like I'm really missing out. I hope that some day I will be able to appreciate MDMA in very careful moderation but I won't risk throwing my life away for it.

 

[thejibberman]

I've always been an anxious person when I think of it, but before all this I was very oblivious to what it was, I didn't even know what anxiety meant. However, I don't blame the MDMA, only my own personality. I was prone to freaking out on the MDMA because I'm a high worrier. There's a lot of people who have had the same thing happen to them from smoking too much weed. People normalise which is good, but I don't think it's good for people to research the brain and the functions everything does and why you feel bad. That's just focusing on the negatives.

Just look at this Yahoo! Answers: https://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20131228002635AAOOXDV

To go too in-depth about the serotonin/dopamine system is just bad for you, unless you did a very stupid amount in a very stupid surrounding (hot room). I just bought up already existing anxiety. It's balancing itself out back to normal so much though, and so quickly too. I like to say I've recovered. Because more than less, I'm very happy and back on the route I was going before all this. Just way more cautious about substances. A good eye-opener for an 18 year old such as myself.

Wish everyone a recovery real fast! I personally believe your recovery is as long as you make it.

 

[ScaredFirstTimer]

My symptoms had started to improve when I found enough confidence to take L-Tyrosine. My theory was as I had a fair amount of dopaminergic stimulant use as well that perhaps low dopamine was responsible for many of my symptoms e.g muscle twitches, either way it wouldn't hurt to try it. Tyrosine made me feel less anxious but also restless. I had trouble sitting still on Tyrosine, it turned me from laying around worrying about my symptoms to feeling confidently edgy and more motivated, definitely a preferable state. After taking the Tyrosine I would feel so unable to sit still that I would go out running for hours to tire myself out (which subsequently helped me overcome any fears about my heart), the effects diminished after about 10 days though so I stopped taking it and now I just feel overall better anxiety and mood wise.

I'm now drinking alcohol again okay but watching my intake. Mood wise I still have random anxiety come on at times and physical symptoms (palpitations, muscle twitches) but I feel happier than I did before this all started. Life kind of feels like it has a fresh coat of paint on it, I'm enjoying the simple things like a few pints at the pub with close friends. Still that desire to drop again is there. I feel like I built my life, chose my friends around drugs and that whole scene and now I can't help but feel like I'm really missing out. I hope that some day I will be able to appreciate MDMA in very careful moderation but I won't risk throwing my life away for it.

What about dosage? From what I gather online the doses "on the bottle" is around 1-2 grams at most, but in research they use 100-150 mg/kg. What did you use?

 

[imabicycle]

Hi guys I havent recovered yet but I'd like to share my story here anyway so I can keep you updated if I do improve. I took 15 pills in about 1,5 year. Some were 200plus. Once I took 2 of them at once and once I snorted 12 lines of speed. But that was the only time I did speed. I haven't used other drugs and have no history with mental illnesses. I started having panic a month after the last time I used (anybody have this delayed onset?). Just happened one day. Started with stabs in the side of my body, just below ribcage ( does anybody know what this is or recognise this) Than I got a very pronounced tingling sensation in my legs and a very uneasy feeling. Since have gotten way worse since than and are now steady but very bad. Always tired. Brainfog. Constantly tense muscle up to a point where I could barely walk because my muscles were full of lactate (anybody recognise this). Severe TMJ. Tingling sensations in hands and feed. Difficulty coordinating. Muscle twitching. Wake up shaking (though not particularly scared). Constant nasea. Sometimes feel dissociated mainly from hands. Feel like I'm living a dream. I feel like I have way more physical symtoms than anyone else here. The anxiety and despression is the same as other people here so I won't mention them. Everybody recommends exercise but I litterally can't run my body is too weak. I'd really appreciate if you guys read this and maybe gave me feedback and some answers. Also I'd like to know if anybody also had loss of magic in xtc like me. I lost it all ready after using five times, and almost never regained it afterwards, though always searching for it. Is this a bad sign? I'm more than three months in now and see no improvement, maybe even decline cause I'm getting really depressed now. I'll share my story say a month later just to get it of my chest and hopefully I can report some improvement. Thanks for sharing all your stories, it helped a bit. Best of luck to you all.