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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support)

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I think CBT can be very helpful in a situation like this. There is plenty of reports on bluelight stating that CBT was what got them through this situation and that it was instrumental for recovery.

For a very long time, I was a huge skeptic of "alternative medicine," especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Not anymore I'm not.

Granted, it isn't cheap, but if you manage to find a gifted psychologist, he/she may have the ability to change your life for the better by simply talking to you.

I know how silly that must sound, especially if you're suffering from a chronic condition, but I know that it was merely words from the English language uttered by a Doctor of Psychology which helped me overcome a personal health issue which had been affecting me for over two decades.

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Kind of off topic, but it really made me wonder about these infamous cult leaders you probably read or heard about in your lifetime. For me, the most infamous would have to be Jim Jones.

Anyways, it made me think about how these cult leaders were/are able to amass a great following simply by having the "gift of gab."

Kind of creepy when you think about the profound impact these people can have on governing bodies, loved ones, etc.

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So yeah... I am most certainly no skeptic any longer when it comes to CBT. While it may not work for everyone, there's a good reason why it hasn't been completely discredited by health experts.
 
My experience with CBT - Lessons and related thoughts to help you with your comedown

For those that are thinking about doing CBT - I have undergone CBT years ago when I was constantly depressed/anxious. First of all - it is expensive. I don't remember the exact price but it was a couple hundred dollars (out of pocket) each session and I did it for about 8 weeks. Secondly, it does work but it is not easy. You don't just go see the psychologist, listen to him, and everything is better. You have to apply the concepts they teach you every single day or else it will not work or be very ineffective.

CBT mainly is for people that have constant negative thoughts that are ruining your life in one way or another (whether it be anxiety, depression, paranoia, etc.). Basically, it's like retraining your brain to think logically about your current situation. For example, if one of the constant negative thoughts you have is "I'm a fucken loser." Instead of constantly thinking you are a loser you have to think about the reasons why you are NOT a loser. Keep telling yourself that you have value, you do have friends, etc. until that constant negative thought, "I'm a fucken loser" subconsciously turns into "I have value." This basic concept is the root of what I learned at CBT. It is your retraining your brain to think at your situation in a different, positive light. MUCH easier said than done.

The interesting thing is even if you are a fucken loser if you just tell yourself "I'm the man" every time that thought pops up eventually your thought will change and you will feel like the man. Self-affirmations work! Before a job interview instead of dwelling on anxiety you may have keep telling yourself, "I'm confident in myself and I can handle this." Say it over and over out loud. You will feel more confident. Apply this concept to any situation in your life.

An example of homework I had for CBT was to write down every thought I had that was detrimental to my life in any way. Consciously paying attention to every thought allows you to actually see what your thinking (this is what meditation helps with) because our minds run on auto-pilot and we don't realize how the mind is running our lives instead of ourselves running the mind. When you control your mind - you control your life. Your thoughts create your reality. Each negative thought I had I would write down how that thought affects me, what good is that thought in my life, and what thought can I replace that with that will actually benefit my mental health. This wasn't some bullshit technique to 'fake' it. It's about being honest with yourself. Back to my previous example - If you keep saying to yourself, "I'm a loser." You are only a loser because you are thinking you are a loser. It's all about perception.

I found doing the CBT sessions worked but what was equally effective was just being able to talk to the guy about my problems and how I felt about my life. He helped me through some problems and made me realize I was so worried over nothing. I have no past traumas in my life and it's just about realizing life isn't so bad. One of the biggest things I took away from those sessions is that happiness is a choice. No one has a default state of happy or default state of sad. THESE ARE CHOICES. I thought I was broken because I was not constantly optimistic. I thought if you aren't happy then something is wrong with you. Everyone has a neutral state, it's just a matter of thinking positive thoughts or negative thoughts. Obviously, the more you think positive the happier you will be.

How does this apply to a long-term MDMA comedown? Simply, you can focus on your symptoms (and be down about the situation) or you can focus on how you are a stronger person because of this, things will get better, and a night of taking MDMA gone wrong doesn't change the value you have always had. It's your choice if you want to beat yourself up for past mistakes or think about it in a positive light. I am in no way saying you can think yourself out of your symptoms. I know they are very real. All I'm saying is you can think about your symptoms in a positive way (that it is temporary, that you have positive attributes about yourself that you are overlooking, etc.). It's naive when some users come on these forums with no long-term comedown experience and say, "Dude it's all in your head. MDMA doesn't cause damage lol." MDMA damage is real despite what some say. You do have the power to change the way you think about your symptoms. In my situation, instead of dwelling on my symptoms; I accept that they are there and continue with my life as if they weren't there.

CBT is a slow process in healing your mind. Realize that if you have been constantly negative with yourself for a long period of time then it's not like flicking a switch. Yea there are certain mental breakthroughs that help tremendously but the deeper a hole you dug yourself, the longer it will take to climb out. It's a slow process of changing your thoughts to create momentum for the positive direction you want to go in. That is why so many people choose drugs when they are in a bad state because it is the quick fix and many people want things that are easy. CBT is NOT a quick fix. The people that do recover from mental illnesses or MDMA symptoms are the ones that are looking down the road and are willing to live healthy every day for reward at the end of the road even if it is years.

Unless you are seriously messed up from a past experience or your MDMA comedown I would not recommend CBT. You can probably google "CBT concepts" and take the initiative yourself without spending a lot of money. Also, meditation, mindfulness, and reading books (like Power of Now, A New Earth which was already mentioned) will improve your life and is therapy in its own right.

In conclusion, the main reason I'm not recommending CBT is because of how expensive it is and how you can take your own measures outside of therapy sessions to heal yourself. However, if you are willing to spend the money on it and put in the effort to change yourself there is no doubt it can be very rewarding.
 
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This long but quality post reminds me of one of the most important concepts on the human brain : neuroplasticity. The way you think and see yourself will result in a restructuration of your brain, physically. Thats why a positive mindset is the key to overcome any challenge we face. Even as adult, your brain is a damn hunk of plastic and will change and heal itself even from brain injuries. What keeps me going in my comedown is hope. Even if it seems far, and hard, I know my brain wont let me down, so i stop thinking about how hard living in my state is, and move on :)
 
In conclusion, the main reason I'm not recommending CBT is because of how expensive it is and how you can take your own measures outside of therapy sessions to heal yourself. However, if you are willing to spend the money on it and put in the effort to change yourself there is no doubt it can be very rewarding.

Thanks for the comprehensive post! I think that's what i'm looking to gain out of cbt, an acceptance of my symptoms and to gain coping skills until i have hopefully recovered. I'm really really trying to be positive atm but i think cbt will really push me further in the right direction. Also i'm pretty sure that for me in the u.k, cbt is provided free. I'm not sure for how many sessions however. My counselling was free for six sessions and then i had to go private. I think the average number of free sessions is from 6-12 weeks for cbt. i am swimming three times a week at the moment and i really enjoy it. It's hard to keep it up sometimes, but i feel in the best shape i've been in physically for a long time and so will keep it up.
 
In conclusion, the main reason I'm not recommending CBT is because of how expensive it is and how you can take your own measures outside of therapy sessions to heal yourself. However, if you are willing to spend the money on it and put in the effort to change yourself there is no doubt it can be very rewarding.

It's absolutely true that CBT isn't cheap at all.

My sessions ended up costing me between $80 to $175 per hour. Thankfully, my insurance company decided to cover half of the cost.

I wanted to add that one of the biggest reasons why I ended up really enjoying CBT was because I was able to make significant progress in relation to a mental health issue without the use of yet another prescription drug, as I am sick and tired of Rx drugs in general, especially those in use for acute and chronic psychiatric conditions.

Therefore, if you can afford CBT, and you're hoping to make progress without resorting to the "therapeutic" use of Rx drugs, then perhaps CBT may be an ideal alternative - but unfortunately, like every other type of therapy, it's not guaranteed to work for everyone.
 
Ro4eva, do you trip at all now?

Well... not lately, no. We're talking about just MDMA, I'm assuming?

Not because I can't, but rather, because I find that I need a damn good reason to.

Kind of ironic that for arguably my favorite high of all time, I seemingly burden myself with having to find a damn good reason in order to roll.

Does that prove that I am not addicted to MDMA? The fact that I choose not to use it, even though I have the means to, suggest that I'm not an abuser? Rhetorical question, but one which I'm sure that the mainstream media would answer with prejudice and bias.

I will admit that one reason I slowed down big time is because it's not exactly legal. I don't like trying to have a good time while having to keep an eye on any possible heat. It's a huge buzz killer.

One very special occasion which would make me wanna roll would be if this war on drugs would ever end.
 
Well... not lately, no. We're talking about just MDMA, I'm assuming?

Not because I can't, but rather, because I find that I need a damn good reason to.

Kind of ironic that for arguably my favorite high of all time, I seemingly burden myself with having to find a damn good reason in order to roll.

Does that prove that I am not addicted to MDMA? The fact that I choose not to use it, even though I have the means to, suggest that I'm not an abuser? Rhetorical question, but one which I'm sure that the mainstream media would answer with prejudice and bias.

I will admit that one reason I slowed down big time is because it's not exactly legal. I don't like trying to have a good time while having to keep an eye on any possible heat. It's a huge buzz killer.

One very special occasion which would make me wanna roll would be if this war on drugs would ever end.

I'm actually talking about acid or mushrooms.
 
^^ Oh... I haven't used shrooms or LSD for years.

I only really enjoyed either when I combined them with MDMA.

I believe the last time I used shrooms was in late 2009, and LSD in 2007. Was okay afterwards.

You thinking of candyflipping or something?
 
^^ Oh... I haven't used shrooms or LSD for years.

I only really enjoyed either when I combined them with MDMA.

I believe the last time I used shrooms was in late 2009, and LSD in 2007. Was okay afterwards.

You thinking of candyflipping or something?

naw, i dont think id use molly again. i prefer to just take shrooms or L and call it a day. curious if its something ill be able to do in time
 
I honestly think that we're kind of making science here. If absolutelly nothing but time cures the people that have these symptoms on bluelight, if someone here actually does a scan or a treatment of some sort and gets cured in one go, we will probably save everyone here on bluelight from this shithole and on other forums. Some people are even getting depression from this, they can be saved too! IV's was a shot in the dark imo, but many of those and who knows what we'll end up discovering!
 
Has anybody that was in his long comedown and wasn't feeling better than when it started taken MDMA again? What happened when you ingested the mdma, was the trip good/bad, did it remind you of anything?
 
Has anybody that was in his long comedown and wasn't feeling better than when it started taken MDMA again? What happened when you ingested the mdma, was the trip good/bad, did it remind you of anything?

Not sure I understand the first question completely, but if you are asking about whether someone has tried taking MDMA when they felt better, but not quite 100% recovered, there is some info:

Somedud did, he ended up killing himself.
Surfer179 did, he put himself in another more severe long term comedown. There's a few stories of other people doing it as well, with bad results.

Dawglaw rolled "too soon" after recovering, and he got some issues for about 3 weeks (correct me if I'm wrong here). I think he has rolled 2 times since that and has been ok, but those 2 times was after he was recovered.

Edit: I read your post again. If someone would take MDMA while having "acute" symptoms, I think the probability of that going to hell is very close to 100%. happy_dude explained how he felt as if he was back to square one after taking pills while having issues.
 
Not sure I understand the first question completely, but if you are asking about whether someone has tried taking MDMA when they felt better, but not quite 100% recovered, there is some info:

Somedud did, he ended up killing himself.
Surfer179 did, he put himself in another more severe long term comedown. There's a few stories of other people doing it as well, with bad results.

Dawglaw rolled "too soon" after recovering, and he got some issues for about 3 weeks (correct me if I'm wrong here). I think he has rolled 2 times since that and has been ok, but those 2 times was after he was recovered.

Edit: I read your post again. If someone would take MDMA while having "acute" symptoms, I think the probability of that going to hell is very close to 100%. happy_dude explained how he felt as if he was back to square one after taking pills while having issues.

was it confirmed that somedud killed him self? I read post how he passed. But I might have missed a thread confirming the actual details of why.

your correct on dawglaw. No idea surfer rolled again, I thought he was doing good. When did this happen?


Either way, I woudnt recommend it.
 
pmz unrelated question but how is the visual disturbances side of your derealisation? is it gone? that and some brain fog is the only thing that remains of my Dr/dp. i notice the music thing bothers you, it's weird because for me i actually enjoy music more than I ever used to because it's one of the few things i can do that doesn't remind me my vision is still a bit off (it's not bad anymore, things just seem slightly off, like I'm wearing sunglasses but without everything being darker haha. thats the only way i can describe it)

also i know i was supposed to be avoiding this site but i was really bored so i caved!
 
I'm at 2 months. I have visual disturbance, lots of it. These little fireworks when I look at the sky kill me. The worst is looking at my screen or looking at mathematical equations on a paper. I just can't do it. Upgraded my Vyvanse dose. Without this medecine I probably would in major depression. It helps me alot because the urge to focus and work is bigger than the symptoms that torment me and the visual glitches. At first my DR was so huge I used to phase out when talking to people, literally feeling like I was looking at a screen with a face on it with black around lol...

thanks science for therapeutic stimulants... They give me a little more anxiety during the comeup but whatever.

Visual disturbance // Extreme photosensibility : 40% gone
Dizziness : 50%
DP/DR: 30%
Awareness of my heartbear: 10%
Headache : 60% less strong
Head pressure : 80%

DR/DP is dropping every day. I just hope i'll be fine at 6 months.
Chest pains : 100%, rest in peace
 
I want to start out that I had no problems what so ever before taking E and I don't have any mental or physical now either so I cannot relate to people who already had issues beforehand. I was a regular user when I was younger but now I only use once a year or something.

It was the first time that I experienced something like it, but it might be due to the dosage. It was a tested pill with 220mg and the next day I took a half of the same so 330mg on 2 days. This was at the end of July on a Saturday and a Sunday. I went to work on Monday but I can say that my body was extremely tired and I really didn't listen well to my body I guess. First thing I felt the day after was that my teeth and my jaw was extremely hurt from the bruxism. A few days later the tingling in my forehead started and the head pressure came on. I can say that I was very scared because of what I was experiencing, I'm a developer and I couldn't do my job properly anymore. But now after 9 months I'm just myself again, I am free of all the symptoms and I have my clarity back.

It's strange that caffeine/alcohol/sugar somehow had an effect on the head pressure/tingling. I started measuring my cognitive function from the moment I had these symptoms and my cognitive function was normal from the start, it was only difficult for me to concentrate. One day at work was a challenge to get concentration throughout the day.

Back then I was reading a lot into this issue because I wanted to get rid of it and I (thought I) came onto something but I don't know if it makes sense or not but I'll share it again. I was and still am convinced that it's something physical and not mental. The trigeminal nerve which is located in your head is very sensitive to changing levels of serotonin, this causes the jaw clenching. When you look at a picture of where the trigeminal nerve is located, it matches the exact places where I had the head pressures/tingling. It also reaches to the teeth and I sometimes felt like I've been clenching my jaw knowing that it wasn't the case. I don't know if I'm right with this or anything, but I thought it would be interesting to share with you guys.

Anyway, good luck to everyone out there, I promise, in less than 9 months things will look very differently.
 
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